yes , i love you =) .

whee . i slept less than 1o hours in two days , counted as never sleep also can . hahas . well , but when im at home ehs , i don feel tired le , unless i lie on bed nors . hmmms . yup yup . don intend to really sleep tonight also lar . lols . kaes kaes . anyway oh , let's see what happen todae . wentt to school , nearly late becos i doze of at 6am while talking on fone . whakakas . woke up at 7 , how i hope i don have to go to school . i knew that i wil just go school and sleep . lols . message baby , den never reply . got that feeling he never come sch liao . roar . buuuuu ~~ den go school also never see him . even after reading period and everything . aiya , noe he never come le lar . roar . so pek chek seh . todae mei you kan dao ta . lalas .. den after tat jiu ehs .. sleep in class nors . todae very suey huhs ? i think so lar . hahas . cos today i got work mar , so after school jiu go home ler . [ tsk , i nearly forget i got work lar ] . who want yang me ? tired of working ehs . hmmms . den after tat sleep awhile nors den quickly wake up and prepare le . oh ya ehs . baby 2 something message me sae he just wake up . roar . so shuang seh , can sleep til so late . after tat he jiu go kick soccer le . hmmms . den i go work nors . so tong ku lar . hahas . drop a quesidilla on the floor todae when there's crowd in . my manager nearly went crazy becos of me . hahas . but she say's im beeter in black hair . finally i saw her true smile to me again . lols . den todae very busy ehs . so now yao suan bei tong . hahas . den after tat 1o something , papa come fetch me nors . den come home . [ currently its 12.1o am , papa's not at home , becos he went fer urgent work . damn . ] . dunno what kind of work lar . so late le lors . at cuppage there de . fark seh . den i waiting for papa come home , dan xin fer him ehs . hmmms . i stil care for him , although i do hate him alot sometimes =) . after tat now i at home nors . todae nothing special lar . just te bie de busy and hmmms . tired ? in another way ? not sleeping de tired , just some other things . ya bahs , hmmms . like tat nors . now forcing baby say something lar . den he keep find reasons run away . roar . [ UE BETTER TELL ME UR YA MEANS WHAT ARHS . HMMMS . I'LL HAUNT UE TIL UE TELL ME THE TRUTH . LOLS . ] . he nawh . keep ask me update blog asap . so i ting ta de hua quickly update nors . hmmms . so ke lian ehs . whaakas . tats all for todae bahs . hmmms .

do you wanna really know why i'am treating ue so cold . ? especially todae ? why ask judy ? why not just come right to me and ask ? i really dunch know how you could once tell me all ur probs . tell me eberything like last time . til now , i cant figure out why ue could just ask me find someone better than ue to talk with ? so what ? so what if i found one ? i have cynthia , i have ethel , i have zean , i have baby , so many . but its ue , till todae , no one can take over ur place lar . as a fren ? a baobeix ? anything .. i know u're glad im good with her now . but so what ? even if we plan to go out together . wil ue wil ue ?! u're not the only one tired , i am too . think of me wil ue ? think how wil i feel when ue said those things wil you ? you prefer to run away from things when ue cant do it . especially in love and friends . ue rather run away or hide .. i was once like tat ,, but i realise i'll stil have to face it in the end . so why not face it earlier ? i dunch wanna talk to ue todae , i never even looked at ue , i don even wana care . but do ue noe how i felt deep inside ? becos i was thinking , even if i talk to ue , what kind of reaction and attitude would ue give me . i'll receive a kind of attitude and reaction tats not ue . i'll receive ur reply like im a stranger to ue . so why hurt myself . im waiting for ue to talk to me , waiting for ue fone . im getting use to u calling . ue always run away , for example , ue cant go out with me on monday becos your mother was off that day and ue was the one who ask me not to work on monday to go out together . i waited for the whole night for ue phone . i called ue , no answers or engage or u're not there . avoiding ? even the next day , i was stil waiting . what i got in the end ? nothing .. everytime sae becos ur mother free and ue cant go out . but at least tell me . wil ue like if i sae go out and ue purposely never work and everything and suddenly i never even contact ue . ? do ue think i love smiling and laughin like todae in recess time . do ue think i smile with no worries and everything ??!! when ue walked away with patricia , did anyone tell me ? ue asked me to ask patricia , why not ue tell me yourself ? you see , now you can tell patricia and not me . why ? its not i dun understand ue , its really too bad too bad . everything is just getting further apart and its like flyin away to a faraway place .

i really need your shoulder and hugs at this moment . but how am i going to do that . i need ue to lean on . i need ue to tell me things to let me understand . i need ue to hug me to tell me even if the world falls apart and leaves , you'll always be by my side .

how wil tmr be ? i stil have loads of things to do . i wanna sleep and not wake up . not wake up ...................................... becos no one i need is here for me . i jus want someone i want and not people i dunch wan by side .. everything is going the wrong way . its all turning upside down ..

darling gerl ` those silent tears in heart , keeps quiet . she hugs her pillow and tell herself she goota be strong becos if she breaks down now , not only things wil turn upside down , everything wil be jjust like hell and she has to start from the beginning again . she dosen't wants to restart everything again , she really wanna continue . wil history repeat itself or wil future be here for her ? she wonders if she breaks down anytime starting from now , what wil happen and who wil be there ...