up tu ue .

yeaps . da above passage is nort fer anione of ue . so hmmms . don ask too much .and yup , let's see what happen todae ? nothing much . as usual , went tu work earli in da morning . n den rush home n meet huiwen at bugis mrt . den we saw ppl diao us , and i kept quiet becos too much probs is nort good . but ehs . she diao back .. so ermhs .. nothing lors . in the end , the bus come . lols . so we went up n went tu serangoon . myye butt nearli open its beautiful flowers . and the bus was so crowded .. omg . den we went tu upper serangoon mall fer something .. something .. hahas . that's all . cant tell what isit . den stae there fer hours .. hahas . stupid . steven took loads of myye precious time .. hahas . stupid danbai , keep suaning us . so we was lyk staying together tu suan him back ? ahahas . he say's im dan huang . how idiotic huhs "? lols . stupid him leaving a smiley ang moh face de tattoo on his finger . saying its cute , can bright up he's daes when he sees it . what nice la . idiot . hahas . but da truth is .. its reali cute . but abit retard . hahas . i cant stand near him . i dunno why , tats what he sae . if nort he wil shiver if he draws the thing . lols . so i di siao him by flying here n there . so he shivered from bad tu worst .. lols . shiver til veri kua zhang . he's hand la . i dunno why . am i that scary .. and wen i sit on da table , guess what he say ? " omg , , why are ue siiting on da table when ue are wearing a mini skirt ? . den huiwen sae , * aiya . sexy mar . lols * . mye fan ying was like diaos . is becos i stand veri long .. leg suan .. hahas .. so i don give a damn whether if there's a chair .. aniwae . danbai looks like a bung tu me .. lols .. kaes kaes . den around 9 go meet xin . awhile nia . talk talk . show her something . jiu go back liao . den bla bla bla . now writing blog lors . lols . now i wan go rest le . go message with dan bai .. hahas . he sae what dunno what la .. hahas .. yeahs !! next week going back serangoon . hmmms . butt wanna open flower already .. anibodi wanna pluck ? hahas . jus now in bus realise geylang de chickens all no llooks but some gort shen cai lei .. lols .. den gort alort chicken walking here n there . lols . ferget tu take their pictures seh . hahas . kaes nawh . going le . wanna go rest le .. bye peeps . see ya people . smoochies loves ~ .

darling gerl ` i love myye finger . haas . [ ai yu hen ] . alan ah alan . cannort ton la . ue ask me ton two daes le lei .. but i all reject . have some commen sense nehs myye dear boyy . wen ur vionna can ton de ? lols . unless gort chalet la .. haas . stil missing ue nehs .. hmmms . getting more n more each dae . what should i do ? hmmms . dunno . *awaiting stil fer ur love* .. muacks . lols . * hui hui shuo * .

add in something first . myye poor darryn .. jus call me . tats why i add in . hmmms . dunno is quarrel with wenyi or what . hais .. sound so sad . somemore sick .. dun wan go sleep or rest . stil entertain tat edmund kor of mine playing dota .. hais .. aiyo . take kare la . ue n her so long le .. partly also ur fault .. nort partly . is mostly .. so don think so much . char bo hong hong awhile jiu okay le .. rest earli kaes . smoochies .

those nights n daes . im tired .

i noe im ugly in this pic . but bleahs . hahas . i don care . btw . i dye myye hair le . so style . i like it . but i should nort have cut myye hair . lols . i should have jus ehs . trim it ?! . hahas . kaes . so guess what is myye hair colour .. hmms . nice nice kaes . xin also go rebond . sit at da chair til backside wanna open flower le . lols . kaes nawh .

anywae . jus came by n chat chat lors . nothing much happen nawh . this few daes keep working n working nia . 7th - 9th of june jiu take pay le . jiu can go shopping liao .hmmms . soon jiu gort bbq n chalet le . like tat myye pay jiu gone liao . lols . todae arhs ? sians lar . go work earli in da morning . den thought can go kbox or go out . den tat xin is sure don wan go de . tats why never call me . sae what wil call me back . aiya . use tu it liao . hmms . doncare . den now at home chatting with myye wen * nort ur wen* . lols . n evonne tu confirm about da class gathering . so bored .. stupid weirong sae i dumb . ask him go die la . anyway . to me . he's myye asshole . lols . kaes nawh . nothing much to write liao . stil da same nawh . mood stil nort as good . going crazy soon . hmmms . busy lors . like tat nawh . goonaa sick le . im tired .. kaes nawh . wanna go rest or watch tv liao . bye bye kaes . miss me ..


darling gerl ` he's alan . he's pey hwee yew . i agree with ue ppl im abit crazy at times . but im nort this time . im serious tat i need him . its all about him .. im glad he's coming back tu sch in july . its myye pleasure tu see him . hehehes . myye mind's all about him . i wil go down if one dae , we are nort even frens . smoochies . loves ~ /

pictures !! .

bored ...

kaes . talking tu darryn on fone . todae nort blogging . see ue all tmr !! whee . im dying myye hair soon . lols . cutting too .. see first nawh . hahas .

darling gerl ` darryn is entertaing .suddenly find he's cute . lols .

without ue , myye daes aren't happy .

nothing much happen this few daes nawh . jus like tat bahs . hmmms . normal . no . nort normal . nort normal jiu shi le . ytd when kbox n myye nelson pei me act cute . dots . now den i noe he ride motorbike de . next time i wanna call him bring me here n there liao . lols . den can have fun on da road . lols . so funny lors . ytd i n baobeix cold til kanasai like tat . nearli froze tu death . hahas . tats all bahs .

alan : i made myye mistake leaving ue fer unvalid reasons . i made myye mistakes fer everything i once did . may i noe fer heaven's sake , what do ue treat me as ? how do ue feel ? i'am waiting foolishly like i've never done befer . waiting . stil waiting . just hoping tat things could start all over again . what are ue actually thinking ? i dun understand . hmmms . i jus wanna tell ue tat i'll wait til myye feelings have fade totally .

darling gerl ` kaes kaes . i wan go bath jiu go work le . todae working at 6 . veri kong bu . bye bye arhs . mish me ppl . love alan . smmochies .

i'am sick and tired of life without you .

ue wrote on ur mssn nick saying ' i dun wan love now .. all i wanna now is to work fer money . ' ALAN PEY HWEE YEW . ! . ue mean just because ue wanna work fer money ue gonna leave me alone n don care mar ? ue noe how it hurts mar ? see ur nick like tat while mine equals tu waiting fer ue .. its like im talking tu myself . ue nudge me on msn last night at 4.o3 am . always at da time im sleeping . ue never said anything . what does it means ? what do ue wanna tell me but never said out ? i have a stress time messaging ue so i didn't . but how bout ue ? have ue ever thot of messaging me or give me a call ? what can i do tu bring ue back , boyy ? can ue tell me what should i do tu bring ue back ? can ue ? can ue just read myye blog n give me some replies ? can't ue jus leave some time fer me ? cant ue jus let ur work go fer one dae tu be with me ? why can't ue ? do ue really wanna see how i suffer ? how am i going through everydae without anione around me ? i use tu share with two ? but now ? im alone . so why can't ue be theere byy myye side ? all im thinking now is ue . and only ue . how about ue ? can i look at myye hp now . n there's a message from ue ? i dreamt bout ue ytd night ? was it becos ue nudge me n while im dreaming of ue ? i dreamt of ue loving me once again without any worries ? i dreamt of ue being with me .. i dreamt tat we was happily together without any worries ? am i just missing you too much or loving ue too deep ? am i just playing with myself without ue caring ? i just need ue tu tell me ue stil love me . ue stil care fer me and nort without any replies ? i need ue fer myye everything . im losing everythin , including ue ? im reali out of life . i jus wanna look into da sky silently .. with ue by myye side . im missing ue too much tooo much .. can we take it tat nothing has happen in da past ? we were only busy fer each other fer tat period of time ? can we ? can ue hug me once again ? ... * lost love * & * lost friends * .


im bored todae . dunno where tat xin again . she ownself sae ytd cum todae no work . ytd cannort find her whole dae . todae cannort find her till now ? don tell me she go work or rebond hair never sae aagin / sians . aiya . dunno nawh . no mood fer everythin . i wil rot at home todae . sians . unless later there's a miracle tat she calls . hmmms . and a miracle tat she wanna go out . or i sae wanna go out n she sae yes . miracle !! . hais . whatever whatever . i wan go do bian bian's food le . at night den come back continue fer da rest of da daes kaes . hmmms . see am i going really to rot at home or what . peeps , bye .. smoochies ~~ .


darling gerl ` xiao ben ask me . why so sad ? so late le stil nort slping ? myye reply " without him ? how can i ever slp in peace ? " darryn ask . which lucky guy are ue missing ? which lucky guy made this stupid gerl wanna he's hugs so much ? myye reply " hmms . haas . lucky guy ? think is suey bah . he's nort mine . no him . no me . i think he's thinking that me missing him is da most suey thing bahs . hmmms . " .. siians . i dunno dunno dunno le . i reali veri sians le . at least cyn is sick but im nort . she has a reason fer herself stayin at home . but i don have .. hmmms . i shoud have gone tu work todae . first can earn money . second no need waste time stayin at home .. n todae's a sundae !! so fast .. myye chalet how ??!! . hmmms .

i wanna something tu happen tmr !!!

i wan go kbox kbox . tmr ? someone someone pls .. quick quick .. ok . darryn's nosy n noisy again .. bye bye ..


darling gerl ` grrrr ..

losing everything . she's tired .

because she lost her faiths in friends , she wants tu be alone . she needs back her freedom and them . she needs all what she had in da past . she dosen't want tu know what she's doing everydae animore . she continues with a torturing life and everything which is around her . she misses him yet he dosen't wants tu noe . she loves him yet he can't accept it . she misses those days with her friends especially her but everyone's busy now . she misses those days when her family always gets out together . she misses those days when she didn't even noe a thing . she misses them . she misses those love people use tu give tu her alwaes . she's finally once again tired of life . tired of everithing . they made her feel so outta life . does she really means nothing tu them . ? . she had enough . she's dreaming . dreaming of them again . its tired everytime when this things happen . why does she have to be alone ? with no other meaning . when she needs her , him . where were they ? when she's so damn boring and everithing . where was everyone ? she helps out people when they're bored . she helps them when they have their probs . but where's her them ? hurts . she needs them . n they belongs tu her only . im sorry if im selfish . but im afraid of losing them . she needs tu rest . she remembers those time when she was treated like a princess who everyone loves . she needs him , especially . she needs him tu encourage her in everything she does . she needs him tu support her back . she needs him tu everything . he leads her tu her heaven .. without him , she leads herself tu her hell . why is this happening all of a sudden again ? she dosen't want this tu happen at all .. she's really tired .. and finally she's tired of everythin including her friends . she wants tu be alone .... without them . she noes she cant have them fuully so she rather them go awae . cos it hurts . . .

so tired todae .. work from 4 - 12.3o .. standing fer 8 and a half hours .. legs breaking down .. sians . hais . tues , wed , fri , sundae also gort work .. die le die le .. hmmms . da worst thing is i wil only get myye pay on next month da 8th . hais .. stil so long .. myye chalet how la ?! kaos . no money .. freak it .. todae so boring . work work work nia . tmr lei ? no friends what ? no work also . see first la . haish .. dead .. but working is fun .. with those idiots playing here n there . throwing da vegetables around .. see da chicken running here n there . lols . da wear specs guy look like myye rabbit . he's cute . also abit chi dun .. lols . talk tu him like talk tu wall .. den few seconds den reply .. but he's cute la . funny lors . hahas . people all playing he washing da things .. lols . den when packing things . suddenly da manager face change .. at first ok ok de . dots . nvm la . she also good nawh . hmms . so i don mind . accept la . she's da boss . lols . hmmms . dunnoe nawh . i noe nawh . myye legs now veri pain * yawn * . im tired . kaes nawh kaes nawh . end here le . wanna go entertain tat idiot darryn liao . so fan . keep asking me tell him stories or where i work . freak .. shoo him awae . lols . kaes nawh .bye .

darling gerl ` im waiting waitng foolishly fer ue tu come back . where would there be ue ? im tired . reali tired . i nneed ue tu be by myye side .. because of you , i have a hard time letting other people into myye heart . because of you , i never strayed tu far from the sidewalk . because of you , i have a hard time fergetting everything . because of you , i am afraid , because of you .. when would ue be back ? i really need ue ....... misses ~~ smoochies ~~ loves ~~ .

da'gerl whose starting tu lose faith in her friends . she gets her days alone by herself without anione . she realises she's alwaes da only one who faces all her problems alone n everithing which concerns herself . she's going crazy soon after all this work and bla bla bla .. awww .. my mum's here . dun wanna let her see myye blog . so i'll continue tonight . take kare peeps . loves ~~

work work work .

she's working . !! omg .. todae's her first dae n it sux like hell . its nort im nort hard working . but its da manager who dosen't seems tu care . actualli hai hao nawh . is jus tat .. ARHS !!! i have nothing tu do there . n im ugli in da uniform . freak . i made da mashed potatoes todae .. so from todae onwards . i noe how mashed potatoes are made from KFC .. so i wil nort eat .. even if i do .. it wil be long long time once .. omg .. im freak out .. actualli its alrite but is da ingredients .. dots . i finally understands why wee chng don wanna eat KFC . lols . peopple !! don spread which KFC im working kaes . i wil kill tat person . hmmms . i feel so extra there .. there was nothing i could do .. i was like roaming inside . lols . n i feel so uncomfortable .. eeee .. no frens ? couldn't be .. i have tat wee chng there . but we do different things . he's base . im counter n kitchen .. dots .. sians .. im ugly .. ugly in tat freaking uniform .. dots .. ue noe how hurt am i when i look into da mirror ?! .. lols .. so bored . sat gort work . i wanna change tu sun nehs . so can same as jamie ? wil tat be better or more die ?! .. grrrr .. roar .. i dunno .. no visitings pls .. i wil kill myself . dots . there are so many manager lors .. idiot . although im nort as busy as tat ng xin hui this few daes . but im dyin of depressioon cum stress .. haas . i was eventually late fer work fer da first dae . i was suppose tu work at 4 but i came at 5 . hahas . funni huhs ? yeaps . myye dad finaaly sees da light of hope n let me continue working .. hahas . im tired now .. dots . its jus abit of work n im half dead .. what if there's more tu come .. i wil lie there tu be a carpet tu be stepped !! its difficult tu breath in there kaes .lols . but luckily thing is . i dun have tu mop or clean the floor or toilet like ng xin hui . hahas . but da people there is a little a little bit unfriendly .. they are fierce kaes .. dots .. kong bu . aiya . but i'll continue myye work soon . n i'll see how . if im able to continue . i'll let it be .. hehes . kaes .


awww . now's about todae morning . we went tu the ehs . old places .. history of singapore . dots .. so sian . so hot . i nearli die of exhaustion .. lols .. da whatever park was somekind of scary .. creepy .. dots .. den the dunno what park was hot like hell . it was filled with insects . i saw a green snake sliding up the tree and i nearli faint .. dots .. it lives mosqitos in it .. hahas . den da dunno what centre was fun .. it was filled with aircon .. they selled drinks too . and the toilet was air-conditionered . !! nice !! wonderful !! . hehes . we played in there n there was quite abit of fun . hahas . but when we went back tu sch . i lost myyye mood ya noe ? its boring .. i hate it when i have mood swings .. or whatever it is .. i jus don like it .. went back tu sch n waited fer xin they all . then we went eating .. dots . pat went home !! [ as usual la ] .. den we go eat le jiu rush home . cos me n baobeix xin gort work . sians . den what happens is up there liao .. den myye dad brought me home .. hmmms . hehes . den i prepare everithing .. watch with myye father a old vcd .. a comedy .. n we laughed like hell . well well .. we've so long never laughed so much together . he's b'dae is around da corner . n myye wallet is blank .. its mye worst nightmare .. omg . myye mother called todae n was suppose tu bring me tu shagrila's hotel tu eat but i did nort want tu . when she put down the fone n called again .. i never answered .. cos i don wanna . she called so many times .. omfg .. hmmms . like tat bah . tat is what fer todae .. quite tiring n im going tu sleep after blogging .. hmmms . kaes . finish todae's diary .. * dionk dionk * .. * bounce bounce * ..


hate people calling me names .. dunno why .. jus don like . so im warning here . call me all sorts of names one more time . n i'll nort talk tu those people .. i'll fergive but i'll never ferget .. remember !! farking idiots ..


i miss alan alan alan alan alan alan alan alan .. arhs . whatever . nobody's gonna care anywae .. hate myself so much .. i wonder why cant i love myself .. i love being single although but i reali miss him .. hmmms . dunch noe nawh .. let it be .. hais .. i think i noe he's reasons of why he dosen't wants tu be together again .. although he dosen't says .. but i can feel it .. those damn reasons .. if its becos of her . i'll hate her fer life !! fer life !! although im already hating her already but i don give a damn .. hmmms . whatever .. im tired . don wanna talk bout anything animore . i'll continue tmr with a nice n stupid blog . so hmms . people .. miss me kaes . tag me asap after ue read myye blog . but i'll take some time tu reply cos im busy .. hmmms . kaes . love ue people loads . love alan pey hwee yew .. nites ..


darling gerl ` hey people , may i noe whose da ehs . dunno where de nawh . i dun care . town arhs ? or toa payoh ? what wiwi or wee wee nawh . guy lai de .. who is he wors ? i dunno him nehs . but the freaking thing is .. he noes who i am n he noes myye past .. freak da world . i dunnoe la . tats what wee chng told me la . cos is he's fren mar .. hmms . he noes i hang around town with them last time , always !! . aiya . he noe quite alot of things jiu shi le la . stil noe what myye ex de . dots . he's kana a fotune teller .. dots . past n present . lols .. dunno nawh .. let me see see who he is .. hahahahahas . lols .. no nawh . jus hao qi nia . so if somebody reali reali reali confirm noe who he is n who i am toking about . plsplspls tell me kaes . xie xie .. loves people ~~~ . misses ~~ smoochies ~~ . hahas . take karries nawh . lols .. buais ~~ .

i admire his talents . i love his cuteness . i like his singing . lols .

tell me he's cute people . n i'll love ue . hehes . tell me he's nice . lols . he came tu myye sch todae kaes . put up a wonderful performance with he's bband . arhs !!! i love them !! . oppx =X . gort his number and he talk tu me rather than tiffany tan . lols . hahas . so funny . gave those look like he see tiff le sian 1/2 . hahas . den gort he's concert tickets . so im currently asking people tu buy cos im either meeting him tmr or sat tu get da tickets . whee ......... he's friendly kaes . smoochies . i bought fer xin ue noe . see i so good . wanna ask pat n wanjing buy le . so can go together . yeaps . roy sae he wil get one first n he'll ask he's frens . im goin tu ask him later if he's nort offline yet . hope i'll get he's reply soon . wheee . so fun . he wrote down he's email n bla bla bla .. number tu me . !! nort tu tiffany !! or anione !! yeah !!! he sae's im cute nehs . i wanna faint le . myye heart wan drop out liao . i realise we this kids are always crazy about this people . lols . but i don give a damn . this is how i should celebrate mye life . =) .. so he's concert is on 23rd of june . anione wanna go ? tell me kaes . plsplspls go .. hehes . there wil be over 4ooo people .. and it wil be a mad one . people there are all mad . listen tu 98.7 and ue'll noe more about them .. hehes .


ok . now about myye results . currently i noe i pass two n fail two . pass two with nice colours . fail two like shit . hahas . style ? im afraid now i'll retain only .. don care . gort da one above tu bright mye days up can liao . hahas . lols .


darling gerl ` da band rawks ..

would myye frens do a help ?

would ue people pls pls pls . ask him tu message me ? cal me ? meet me up ? ask me something which concerns ask ? ask anithing about him ? would someone pls .. i've no where tu turn to anymore . only him can bring me back myye true smiles . only him . cheryl asked me tu ask him fer patch . i don think he would even sae yes . but i reali wan a ans like a yes . i don wan him tu ask me tu ferget about those memories . i don wanna him sayin let past be past . i noe i cant do it no matter how much anione force me tu . i've so mani probs ...

darling gerl ` u're myye one n only ..

im innocent .i sent ue an i love you .

i message . ue replied . ue said .... lols . okay .. i was out of words . all i coould do was come back home n cry .. i asked myself " why did i let ue go in da beginning . why did i said ue're nort gonna be mine animore ? why did i sae so mani nonsense ? " i cant have ue back now rite ? am i rite ? how i wish someone would ask ue tu read myye blog . everidae . i wanna hugged ue again .. i wanna ur hugs ... i miss ue . ue noe mar ? i cried in da cinema . becos of eu becos of da show .. i cried .. ue called me befer things happen . ue ask me where am i . how i hope ue asked becos ue cared or ue wanted tu meet . ue said nothing . ur cold attitute towards me wil make me go crazi de ni dong mar ? da attitude n character ue give wil let me do those stupid things de ue noe mar ? ue noe how much i miss ue mar ........... what i sae was wad i felt . . i waited fer ur other replies . but what i get was nothing . what i gort was those messages i don wan . those messages from others .. i reali have nothing in me le ..i reali reali need ue reali ............. i left our fotos in myye wallet . they noe i stil cant ferget ue . n i swear i swear . i promise . u're da only one im lovin .. da onli one myye mind is missin. cant ue be mine again ? wouldn't ue be a darling tu come back pls // wo zhen de hen shu yao ni .. ni zhi dao mar ? i cant feel da break in myye heart n soul . i can feel da love shatters from everi single part of mye mind ... i love you .

i laugh without a smile . i smile without those laughter . i went pass da streets we alwaes been . i went pass those shops n those machines . i found only our 6-7 months of memories inside it . i realise so mani mani things . why couldn't ue jus sae i miss ue . why couldn't ue . im sure im stil part of ur heart . im sure ue're stil thinkin of our memories . but why wouldn't ue come back .. i miss da winnie the pooh i alwaes wanted from ue . i miss da toys i alwaes fan ue about . i miss da bed we alwaes lied tu watch tv together . i miss da wae we use tu hug n laugh . i miss ur everithing boyy . + + + + .

darling gerl ` wouldn't someone ask him tu read myye blog ? A - + N . wil someone noe who he is ? i miss him . those memories are toturing her . those past are haunting her ... isn't this life ? pityful memories ? isn't this ue ? .....

seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..

seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..seaching fer da love tat i have lost . you treated me so good yet i didn't notice,until ue have gone ..... then i really realise ..

2oo5 n 2oo6 birthdae memories . 13o592 .

13o5o5 : lols . i got chalet n i rmb after a few daes i and alan together . i rmb i was standin beside da chalet cupboard when he message me happi birthdae . lols . i remembered we play eggs .. n water on the path between all da chalets . hahas . everibodi was lookin at us lors . haas . i didn't even care . haas . Den tat stupid ehs . dunno he call what name liao la . carry me all da wae tu da public basin . n put me there cum on da water lors . wa lao . tat was fer everibodi tu use n wash things de . but i was left inside . freak . everibodi was lookin n lookin lors . haas . den after tat xuan they all carry me in da middle of da path n throw . wa lao . kana their ball like tat . rmb how fun was it nors . hahas . den at night we go OCH . haas . so kong bu seh . alot of things happen nawh . hmmms . those ghostli thingis .. ~WHOOSH~ . hahas . dunno nawh . i noe tat night alot of things happen jiu shi le . last year myye chalet full of humans walkin here n there . lols . all so noisy . sleep also snatch bed . haas . in the end gerls sleep on floor . idiot . guys all on bed . fark fark fark . hahas . den also rmb at tat moment darryn wanna jio chi wen . hahas . aiya . but after two nights of crazinest . the third mornin got tu check out liao . fark . ue noe what ? we lost our chalet key on tat night we went tu OCH lors . must pei $5o fer tat farkin key . lols . den after da chalet . me . yiru . xin n wen go eat . hahas . den i think jiu go home le . cos carryin alot of things . lols . like tat jiu end da whole thing le . wa liew . last year presents was so much more than this year kaes . siians . hahas .


130506 : arhahas . this was ytd . let me see . meet wanjing at ttiong ytd . den come home prepare . the end also never prepare anithing . den jiu wait fer xinn call . den jiu go ehs . her house . yup . her house . lols . den we down there prepare here n there jiu dunno what time liao . cos meet ryun [ mye korea baobeix ] at city hall at 6.15 tu 6.3o . so we take taxi go . den meet wee chng [ mye fren cum darling ] at 6.30 to 6.45 . hahas . but i meet leanord [ ex ] at marnia nehs . lols . also dunno meet him what time . den after tatt jiu meet dao ryun n his frens . den jiu give me da present . so cute nors . xin sae veri ex . cos is hello kitty de necklace . so i wan go hello kitty shop see liao . cos i noe hello kitty shop at bugis veri ex de . freak nors . hahas . den meet wee chng . ytd everibodi got a baobao from me . cos its a kind of respect . i made this rule on 12o5o6 . hahas . next time meet ue all must got baobao kaes . lols . ccos myye papa lent me he's office de digital camara . so take n take n take . lols . wa biang . da battery 9 bucks nehs . freak lors . kana i print money like tat .. wa biang . so i force myye dear dad tu take da receipe n collect da money from he's company . ! . hahahahas . so im able tu have da 9 bucks back . lols . edn after tat jiu go marina de mac . they smoke . i smoke ... den jiu go kbox liao . whee . stuupid weirong [ myye shuai ge darling ,lols ] cal me wen i was at bugis de mac. hahas . ask me goin wheree . den sae he also goin marina . they watchhin movie with toot toot they all ma . ue noe la . tat few .. shiyong . qi wen .. den after tat meet weirong at arcade there . er xin lors . ask him come find me he ask me go find him . idiot . den after tat meet le . talk talk le . idiot . keep suanin me . stupid darling . i'll rmb what ue did tu me . den after tat we jiu go back sing first . den after tat call yong jie . ask him where is he . den he at suntec . dunno nehs . suddenli feel like calling him . gort a feeling he's around .. so cal lors . den he n suntec nehs . hahahahas . see . i so xin youling xi . hahas . den after tat he come marina . thot he with who seh . den he n some of he's bestie wear kana jap jap . lols . den after tat i go outside there wait fer him mawh . thot nothing . fark lors . den i go out . saw weirong they all walkin towards . lols . so you yuan . den tat idiot sae actualli wanna cal me de . but i come out liao . aiya . tao yan la . hahas .fated de seh . den after tat saw yong jie walk with them . eeee . er xin lors . pui . saw tat slut seh . wear kana eee . ahas . den shiyong sae .. " wei rong .. see see see .. eeee . " . somehthing like tat la . hahas . den i at there keep laughin . den keep at there . kanasai . pui . eee . ahahas . so suey seh . so funni lors . weirong n they all at there keep play . den i laugh laugh laugh . hahas . buey tahan . den i don wanna care liao . never thot yong jie with her seh . then jiu let it be lors . aniwae it dosen't concerns me . lols . i noe veri er xin jiu shi liao , eee . now sae le stil hair stand . hahas . slut seh ..lols . den after tat . stupid wei rong keep pull time . den i n xin cannot go in sing song . in the end all four of them go in . hahas . go in awhile nia seh .. den at there di siao here n there . lols . after tat they jiu go le nors . den left me wanjing . xin n wee chng . cos leanord got dunno what thing nawh . den jiu go liao . den after tat we sing sing sing . ryun baobeix n he's fren come after their there de songka . wa biang . hahas . den we play nors . so funni . lols . den play something like wine . cum cake . free de . den we plae plae plae . the champange la . stupid ryun . anihow spray . lols . den everiwhere so sticky .. eee . we also tio lors . wa biang . den jiu drink .. eat abit .. den continue sing song . den wanjing jiu start here EMOing . den i jiu ask her why alot nawh . den she jiu quiet quiet liao . den me n xin they all continue sing songs . whakakas . so fun .. lols . den after tat around 12.45 jiu go home le . myye pa la . so earli lors . fark . nvm . den oh ya . lydia n janet give me minnie n mickey . so keai . hart's this year de pressie so much . lols . btw . da cake was yum yum . haas . den jiu go home tat time . they all gort dai ji . freak . as a guai kia . i went home . hahas . with xin n wanjing . wanjing took taxi cos she stay too far le . papa canot fetch . den after tat i also dunno where the other guys go la . i also never go ask . den i go home jiu veri tired le . stil must preapre . bathe n bla bla bla . hahas . ! this is what hapen on myye this year de b'dae .. hope next year wil more fun . ! lalalalas .


kaes . aniwae . this june . me , xin n wanjine openin chalet . cyn , wanna pay together mar ? den ppl must come kaes . don come also nvm . lols . got wanjing me . xin n cyn jiu enuf siao liao . can break down da whole chalet le . hahas . den hmmms . like tat nors . btw people ! i stil wann myye pressies kaes . lols . den later meeting cyn at 2.15 . now must go pom pom le . if nort later late tio suan again . later i wanna go interview fer work le !. yeahs !! . hehes . so ehs . now .. i wan go make myye bian bian de food n after tat i wan go bath le . hehes . above is me n papa de picture . took on holidae when wanna go eat sea food with auntie they all de . lols . papa look funni in tat pic rite . he's nort allowed tu take foto . haahas . kaes nawh . gtg le . byes kaes . miss me ! . smoochies . loves ~ .


darling gerl ` i miss ue + + + + .. i realise i reali miss ue .. i told myyself tu be strong n not tu beg fer ue back .. i hope i wun be weak again .. i love you boyy , its becos of ue im unable tu accept other guys in myye life now .. its becos of ue . but ue don seemed tu care . what hurts me da most is no one telling ue i stil love ue .. waiting fer ue .. sobs . no one noes its stil hurtin in myye heart after so long .. so long ..

i've alreadi received myye presents .

hmms . i don have da mood tu celebrate fer myye birthdae at all . so maybe i'll jus take it as a gathering . dunno why don have da mood bah . veri sians . hmms . alot people nort cumin jiu never mind le . stil happen so mani things . i reali no mood fer this year de birthdae . WA FUCK LA . SHUDUP SLUT . DON OFFLINE N ONLINE AGAIN TU LET ME SEE UE ONLINE CAN . FARK OFF LA . KAOX . ok . sowie . tat farkin slut online cum keep offline . purposeli de . don care . ehs . dunno nawh . i wanna aziz pressie . i want his !! i want see what he give me . he's myye dearest malay darling . lols . loves boyy ! .

kaes . im goin . maybe later den write bah . i veri hot . veri down . veri busy . veri hmms . dunoe . no mood . kaes .

darling gerl ` i wanna ue .. can i ? its enuf tu satisfy me fer all myye b'dae pressie ..!

i want ue .

dunch ue stil understand mar ? its ue .. its ue .. without ue .. by myye side . its a loneli birthdae ..... ue said ue dun wanna me die .. no .. eu said ue wil try tu fufil myye everi needs .. boyy . ue cant . ue wun be able tu fulfuil what i want . shanling without dickson . laogong without her boyy . me without ue . its bad . veri bad . ue said ue afraid everithing would end up like alan . its becos ue cant accept . its becos ue cant . ue afraid something would happen tu be if i be with ue .. i dunch mind .. reali dunch mind le . i jus want ue tu be true if we're reali together . if one dae there's hope again .. ue said ue veri tired of life le . myye ans tu ue is .. its becos ue think tu much le . think too far le .. tu ue its a kind of caring . tu me its a torture ue'll never feel .. no one's here fer me .. at this moment . at this kinda time .. i reali dunno what are friends le . i dunno anithing . don ask me .. i dun care .. i dunno . dunno . everithing dunno ........ don ask don ask .........


darling gerl ` ue've never felt da wae i felt . iloveyou . ue said something . i felt somethin . in a sense , i realise ue've never loved me befer . ue've never ......... ue said .. " ue tell me love cant be forced , so wad do ue expect me to do . " boyy . ue noe this sentence hurt me how much mar ... yuan lai wo yi zhi yi lai duo shi yi ge sha gua , sha sha de deng zhe bu hui lai de ni .. " is this da fact ? tel me we cant be together , tell me its impossible . tell me ue've never fall fer me . tell me ue've alwaes treat me as a mei . i'll promise ue ue wil never see me again . i'll promise ue there's no more me in ur life . i'll go .. as a stranger .. i'll promise ue .. tell me those things n i'll let ue go . i'll never disturb ue ever again . u'll have nothing tu fan in ur life animore .. tell me im playin by myself all this while . tell me i was da fool all this while . tell me everithing everithing everithin . let me give up if ue think what im sayin is true .. tell me n ue'll never see me in ur life again . i'll try myye best tu ferget ue .. but if ue think what i said wasn't real .. its nort true . n becos ue don wanna me urt so much . and ue tell me everithin inside here .. i wil hurt more den i hurt now . wen worst come tu worst . ue'll nort be able tu see me in everione's life animore ... * cryin * ..

i sank . i cried with hatred . photos ?

i sank when i noe she has ur foto . jia xin ? lols . a gerl i hate since beginning of sch . she has ur foto ??! . i kept quiet . i don give a damn i told myself . i tried nort tu think . let me see .. todae ? haas . i went tu tiff house market there eat . told her her tu come down . her farkin mouth kana what . kana wanna tell me she's proud tu have ur photo . haas . stil let me see . i smiled . look at her .. told her ." ic . good lors . got his foto . ue n him veri good arhs ? " . she looked at me with those farkin llook i hate . den said no . add him in msn den chat den he sent his photo . lols . i cant imagine im luffing ue noe ? i nearli beng kui .. lols . told myself nort tu cos i promise myself tu ferget ue . haas . ue said patch with him ? lols . fer fun lar . impossible fer real . jus plae plae nia . i never even treat him as stead . tats da prob with me . im nothing tu ue animore rite ? jus a idiot whose veri ehs . hmms . fan ? haas . i sometimes see those testi from ur other mei . from other gerls . i reali dun wanna care animore dong ma ? hmmm . my wish was tu have ue on myye b'dae . now , impossible le . lols . what the hell am i thinkin man . the most . ur present ? one hug ? one smoochies . ? not ue .. im stil cryin everi night .. even if its onli fer awhile . i stil wonder why are those tears flowin down . i can feel myye heart's breakin . can feel it hurts so much .. but .. i dunnoe . jus dun wanna noe anithing . hmmms . lookin at ur pictures . i wonder , " are ue a hongster whose gonna end up like mogan ? why does it seems everione around ue whose close tu ue de is gerls nerhs ? hmms . todae took a breathe at esplanade . wondering myself why we're unable to be together ? becos of him mar ? i asked myself . . . lols . i dun wanna ue tell me dong mar ? im afraid the reason from ue tu me is something i dun wanna noe ue dong mar ? i sae i wan surprises . what i get ? nothin .. nothing from anione ..


myye birthdae comin le . i kana celebrate with the wall n those walls around me like tat . cal over 3o . less than 1o can come .. these call frens ma ? i regret knowin so mani dong mar ? ue noe how it hurts mar . whatever . i dun wanna care . dun wanna . celebrate at kbox . what wil i get ? hmms . dunno nawh . dun care . hmmms .


i reali dunno what tu do le . all confused .. lost everithin in myye life .. this year's b'dae like shit . this year kana shit like tat .hais . myye ganma "suan ming" de . this year monkey tu dog year nort good . everithing not good . love . financial .. studies .. home affairs . blablabla la . hmmms . bu dong . she me dou bu dong .. i reali weak le . anitime wil jus break down .. aniwhere .. ani min . xin laogong cum darlings they all nort never see befer . continue like this . i'll reali go crazi de .. i'll reali die .. gone .. its over ..


darling gerl ` its ue i wanna love . why cant ue let me ? why cant i ? wo yi shen zhong . zi ai guo wu ge ren .
caijing .
alan .
kelson .
guanhong .
xiaoping .. " u're not even mine once . its ue im troubled n cryin about . "


todae purposeli ask ue see this blog nort becos of anithing . jus wanna ue noe .. ue dun have tu gibe ani replies or ani ans . this is da wae i alwaes rite . i even once swear in myye blog n tu myye frens i was goin tu ferget about ue , i was goin tu give up everi hopes on ue . but i realise i reali cant do it . i reali cant .. don force me not tu love ue . i'll reali die ..ue never knew how much i suffered fer ue . u'll never noe cos ue don seemed tu noe anithing .. i cant feel ur care towards me .. n it hurts .. reali .. it reali hurts tu see ue cal me mei stil ..


im willing tu do anithing fer ue . those packets of panadols i did .. without myye frens noein .. those penknifes i plaed around . no one would ever understand those pain n the tears i cried .. its all becos of ue .. dun blame urself fer me endin up like this . i dun have ani meanin fer this blog . i jus wants ue tu understand ..

sarang-heayo . * mei yi ge wo dou shu yu ni . *

she wonders why .

she looked out of her window n looked out far .

she realises she's alone ..

she realises she love those couples when they look so sweet .

how she wished she could have it too .

she alwaes thinks too much .

she noes she miss them . but they aren't aniwae of getting them back .

she dosen't want tu live , becos it aren't worth it .

* a bleeding fer twice . *

darling gerl ` its myye life so i wonder why do people have tu care so much . its not their business at all ..

bored . . .

i love ue no more . ue hurt me , took me fer nothing . i got down becos of ue . i wasted those tears n ue don even care . i noe i was foolish but i didn't care . i finally realize there's someone out there better fer me . ue shouldn't be the one now .. i wrote this passage is not fer me tu tel ue im angry or i gonna hate ue . i jus want myye friends tu noe ue are totally fergetten . but i promise ue , i'll stil be there whenever ue need me .. =) .

todae's a ehs .. nice dae but a bad dae too ?

lols . a bad dae becos i got a bad bad terrible headache .

bad dae becos xin la . slp slp slp . lols . n tat jing wei baobeix eventualli ferget who i am . freak it .

bad dae becos i have no money .

bad dae becos im veri beri tired todae .

good dae becos i met him todae . a person i have not seen fer long .

good dae becos he became handsome . cute . lols .

good dae becos we finaaly went kbox .

good dae becos i was satisfied in kbox todae . so happi . shout , play . lols .but da idiiot thing is no one entertained me ! . suan liao .

although went home quite earli nawh . but act de . lols . so can ton during myye birthdae n befer myye birthdae tat dae mar . lols .

after noon go wait fer xin gan finish work .

lols . den go her house . like tat nors . hmmms . todae is like tat . lols .

kaes kaes . here i go ,

I LOVE NG XIN HUI . !

I LOVE PATRICIA THNG WAN BING . !

I LOVE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . !

I LOVE LO WAN JING . !

I LOVE CYNTHIA CHENG BLA BLA . ! hurhur ..

i only have them in myye life . only them .. they are da ones in myye life who can bright myye dae up . although we quarrel at times but we fergive each other after things happen . we are sure tu stae together fer life .. muacks guys . love loads .

myye birthdae 13 may ; wishlist .

digital camara .

3G phone .

512mb memory card .

i wan chalet ! sobx . bbq pit also can .

bian bian's food .

sunglasses .

myye gothic clothes .

make ups ! .

nail polish !

bottles of wine n anithing which concerns alcohol . lols .

money !

nice shoes or heels or slippers .

contact lens ! .

toys ! lols . big big de . i wan da big big turtle tu make ng xin hui jealous . !! hahahahas .

quit sch . hahas .

my mother tu die .

i wan slim down .. dots .. im fat . xin's fat .. hmmms .

bra ! cute cute de . lols sseh . so entertainnig .

i wan surprises !! .

new bags .

new accescorries .

bian bian's clothes .

go kbox happi . lols .

i wanna myye life be merrier cum haappier .

i wan myye old friends . n those young memories .

aiya .

DA MOST IMPORTANT IS DIGITAL CAMARA . CLOTHES . MONEY . BIAN BIAN'S FOOD . MOI MAKE UP ESPECIALLY EYE LINER . QUIT SCH . 512 MEMORY CARD . PATRICIA'S BAOBEIX MINNIE . LOLS . AND CHIVAS !! MARTELL !! VODKA !! . HMMMS . LIKE TAT NORS . N THOSE MEMORIES CUM LIFE HAPPIER BAHS . KAES KAES . =) .

darling gerl ` whee . he's totally outta myye mind .

he's myye boy . lovely him but i go crazi everi night becos of him . hmmms . todae blog til here nia . cos he keep barkin . i also wanna g0 bath le . people take kare kaes . thanks fer those who tag in myye blog de . love . oh ya . btw seh . beibei darling 22 may . i 13 may . lols . she sae we da may babies . dots . * faint * ..


darling gerl ` i dun care who ue wanna be with now .

from todae , ue would be the one i onli love . no more others . its onli ue ....

she's down . she's nothing tu anione animore .
she pins her hope on two guys during a period of time .
its not becos she's playin two hearts .
she just wana try it out .
she realizes one was no more . no chances .
another was thinkin about another thing .
he dosen't even wants tu give them a chance .
she gives up in everithing . everithing .
she has hopeless goals n reali duno what tu do or where tu go .
she's startin tu hate those people around her .
no matter who they are [ accept fer xin . ]
she dosent even noes what's she doing .
she dosen't wanna care anymore .
it hurts her seeing her two boys leavin her .
it hurts her seeing herself change into someone she don even noes .
sometimes she wonder , what would people life be without her ?
wil they be happier ?
todae , she asked him online sayin " when ur exams finish " ?
he replied sayin sori fer da late reply n said * she ferget when * .
she said ok n wanted tu leave the conversation .
yet he says something which stop her from leavin .
she thinks he wanted tu said somethin .
but in the end . he said nothing but sori n left .
she's hurt . so hurt . when she's just waitin fer him tu sae somethin she wanted .
how long have they not met .
they use tu see each other outside sch nearli everidae after sch .
she can feel he's tryin tu avoid her .
she noes their impossible .
what she needs most now is him ,. by her side .
sometimes how much she hope tat a kind soul would jus tel him .
sometimes she jus hope he would jus give a hug . a long hug .
til now , she stil dosen't understands why .
why is she suffering fer him ? her friends thinks its foolish but she stil thinks she don mind .
she jus wants him tu noe n care fer her da right wae she wants .
she noes all her friends are cowards who dosen't dare tu talk tu him .
no one would ever tel him how she suffered
how much she wanted he's heart n hugs .
she miss those kisses he use tu give her as a sister n bro relationship .
sometimes , she wishes time could turn back , n she would not tell him about anything .


she loathes those guys who have stead le stil add char bo de . kaos . she don mind gerls addin guys but she don understand why guys add gerls n chat when they have stead . dun understand seh . hate them sia .


school ?
what's sch ?
its nothing tu her anymore .
she dosen't wants tu care about sch anymore .
cos its not her interest .
she's sick of exams . test . whatever .
whatever things concerns books in sch makes her puke .


friends ?
onli wen they need ur help den ue wil see them flyin around ?
haas . funni . hate those idiots who wanna eee .
nothing . dun wanna make myye blog dirty .
she hates those mouth big de seh . everytime paoto things .
go eat potato nawh . next time help those idiots buy .
lols . i dunno what is what le . all i noe is ..
im holdin something called hatred bah .
anthing ,. i dun care .


darling gerl ` she misses him like hell yet he continues with his life . she just wants him tu noe . hope her frens would be able tu tell him how much i wanted his hugs n kisses . i miss those daes when he use tu not noe a single thing .. loves ~

im not da one .

not da one`ue use tu noe .
she's gone since da dae she's hurt .
what hurt her da most was him sayin tu leave him alone .
what hurts her da most was their pictures flowin .
those memories use tu be nice n sweet .
yet it turns into a nightmare now .
she's lost in da woods without anyone .
she's lost in her dreams ; her horror .
no one was there when she needed someone .
everyone thinks they were there wen she needed someone .
but all of`dem were totally wrong .
she needs someone fer dinner n everyone wasn't free .
she needs someone tu talk tu her on fone yet her fone wasn't ringin .
she needs someone huggin her yet she gets it from no one .
she wanted tu cry herself out yet everyone ran away .
she needs someone tu drink with her yet everyone dosen't wants .
she needs someone tu be with her everi second yet she sees no one .
she realizes she has been lonely all this while .
while her friends thinks they were by her side .
she realizes nothing were meant fer her .
she gobbles those panadols in front of her .
and people thinks she was getting attention wen she was not .
she just wanted tu end her life .
she slashes her hand ; get stiches yet people thinks its nothin .
she's finally sick of life , sick of those around her .
she dosen't give a damn tu anything now . she swears she not da one .
a dark secret she keeps where no one noes .
she dosen't wants anybody to care .
cos when she needs it . no one was there .
what hurt her da most was him . her . them .
a fake smile n laughter she bbrings everywhere . no one noes whats real .
she's sick so sick yet no one cares . no one bother tu ask .
not a single soul realises she was so sick n treated her as a pile of shit .
she gives up her life now , not noeing anithing .
everyone's fake , no ones real . they think they understand .
but what they noe was only she's hurt .
she don give a damn anymore , she's weak n her tears are all dried up by her pityful blood .


boyy , ue made her give up . ue made her miserable .
what she's left with is only her room , her dog .
what she cares about now is onli a dog .
she dosen't even cares fer herself anymore .
yet she told herself , if one dae , ue are left with no one .
she would be da one alwaes with ue .
cos she misses her memories with ue n those times when ue use to love her .
no one believe she's not da one anymore . so what's more could she do ? .
boyy . ue told her tu leave ue alone . tat was da worst thing she ever receive .
unable tu accept da reality , nothing more she could do .
all she could was tu swollow da panadols the doctor gave n what she bought .
penknifes are nothing tu me anymore . they are jus a toy tat could kill .
she's not getting attention fer everything she does .
she just wants someone tu be by her side huggin her especially ue .
how much she hope tat she would see ue on streets n then ue huggin her .
it may not be ue , anyone ..
she just wants someone tu hugged n someone tu understand .
its becos of ue my dear boy .
its all becos of ue her life is shattered .


she's cryin . n cryin . although she noes her tears aren't worth but she dosen't mind . no ones with her . she all alone now . she don cares about relationships now only hopin that he would be by her side tu bright up her days once again . how much she wished she could wish herself away . how much she wish someone would tell him she needed him by side . how much she wish someone would be there like she alwaes be there when someone needed her . she wished n wish , but what she get in the end was all a lie . she just wants him , her n them .. alwaes . it hurts so much so much .


darling gerl ` he told her tu stop all her nonsense . nonsense was a word she loaths . he told her tu stop everthing . she hurts . she don wanna care anymore . it reali hurts alot yet people thinks its nothin but a lie . i don wanna attention . dun wana those tears anymore . im not strong anymore . no im not .. loves ~ .