i looked through my phone book ytd , this morning , wondering if anyone would accompany me . i cant find any , none . i use to have ue in part of my heart , i wil stil tell myself u're busy and wun be able to accompany me . when u was still here but we was further apart , there's stil people who'll accompany , call me out . now u're gone , things turn worst . i don feel anything yet tears dropping . i cant find anyone to go out with me . no one is here with me til late night . dreamiing of ue fer nights , still waiting .. i feel so alone . how would others be able to feel it ? i thought maybe my family would be able to accompany me but ... nothing . i called my cousin to ask if they wanted to go to my uncle's shop to eat , they say they already at clementi going my aunt's friend house . i know it was impossible already , i called my dad . he was at balastier . and said nothing .. i shouldn't have give bian bian away , i shouldn't have .. if not , i wouldn't be so lonely now . . at least , i stil have things to do , bringing him to east coast .. downstairs . play with him .. cryin , laugiin with him . i miss his barking .. i blame myself for not listening to cyn , i promise to take care of him de .. can i have him back ? i gave him away , i thought she would be there .. i thought they would always be there ....... but now , everyone left , i'am left alone and no bian bian .. everyone of you thought u're always here for me , im sorry , i cant feel anything . i miss bian bian , i miss runiing around with him , i miss the days i turn my head around and see him lyin on the bed . i miss him jumpiing up to my chair .. will someone briing him to see me ? wil someone give me back him ? i have not see him since the day he left me in the middle of the night .. * crying to myself terribly , looking around .. wondering if he would appear .. * i miss him .. i look through my 216 contacts in my phonebook , no use . no one i can think of . this shows everythiing ... people ask me , why do my blog always get so sad ? i always wanted to ask them back this question but i did not , i wanted to ask , den why none of you can make me happy like i use to be ? den why cant ue all be there ? so why not bring them back and every single one of them back , den maybe u'll see my blog happily .. why not ask urself why my blog gets sad only when they left , who not read my previous blogs ? have i been sad ? i told ue no one understand .. i have long said but every one of ue said ue all understand . but wil ue know the feeling of being lonely when ur contacts is 216 .. and no one is here ? when everyone is leaving ? when people bluff ue and ue wun be able to understand ? when people promise but everything was damn FAKE . ? how would any of ue understand ? when ue go everywhere alone ? when ue shop alone , trying clothes , shoes alone ? when ur friends can say , oh , im havin exam , oh im working , oh , i going out le , oh , cannot lar , i todae cannot go out , oh , i have to go home early becos got sch [ when sometimes ue all can hang out with others til so late even if its is A SCHOOL DAY . ] , oh , i todae don feel like going out lei .. * let me tell ue people , this is what i get .. when i try to treasure , when the time i've learn , ue people are all gone .. all these reasons , do ue know how hurting isit to receive ? when i can rush down for someone no matter what im doing anytime .. when i can just rush down in the middle of the night , trying my best if i can . would cal , would message when ue people are alone . ? no matter what mistakes u've done .. why am i the only one who can do all this ? why am i the only one whose patience so good ? damn good .. why can i do thesse things but none of ue can ? can i be the one who is havin all these ? can i not be the one who is doing all thesse foolishly ? ue people say i dunch know how to treasure ue guys , den ue all just leave .. how bout me ? have ue guys thought of the good things of mine ? have ue guys think of the good and how i treat ue all those times mar ? no , no .. no . none of ue can say yes cos ue would just think bout the bad and when i give attitude ? which damn bitch in the world has to attitude ?! .. fail as a friend , not me , is ue all ............... a friend , and everything . i try to give the best to everyone of ue , but what i get back ? gerl , the patience i've gave to ue , the waiting and everything ue and i can think of .. and ue just leave like that .. don ue feel anything ? can ue not appear in ffront of me ? can i not see ue smile and laugh when ever i see ue ? can ue don play with them ? why am i the one u're ignoring ? im sure i've done no wrong , its just becos u've found the true best friend . no , to me its not ur best friend , she's a breaker to me .. no .. i don even know what im talking about . no , not her . i dunch know , i dunch know .. i don wanna noe anything anymore .. everything are all lies .. wanted to call ue out for the last day todae but cant have the courage , wanted to say lets take nothing has happen for todae , just todae but i cant call ue . u'll be working again right ? or going out with her ? ue seemed so happy going out with her . you bu jian de ni hui na me kai xin ru guo shuo he wo chu qu .. nvm le .. its currently 2.33 pm now , i guess i wil just be alone at home .. i guess every day would be like that .. next week , next next week , til the day u've come back . maybe ?
darling gerl ` bian bian , im sorry . i know you must have forgotten me le .. but i miss ue , really miss ue .. how i wish ue wil rmb me til todae .. ue went at the wrong time , i called them at the wrong time . everything was wrong . the first day ue came , the three of us slept on the floor . i hugged ue . the last day ue went , i was alone with ue . kissing ue goodbye .. packing ur things while crying .. and that was the night i let ue go .. no one has brought ue to me since the day .. i have not visit ue .. ni hui shen wo de qi mar ? hmmms . when will i get to see ue ? bian bian ~~ can i have ue back ? pls ....* tears * ....
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