should i be happy about what is happening or should i get sad and angry bout myself ? went to town todae becos IN THE END , UE NEVER CALL ME so i went with precious and zean . thinking it was going tu be a very depressing n boring day so i decided tu ask baby come meet me . hmmms . den baby say see first so i not sure lar . after tat at cartell eat till half , i decided to reply her* message . [ after one n a half day ] . and then i got reply den some things happen . [ not goonna say ] . after awhile , baby call me say they at cine ler , den say with toot toot . so when i wanted to get up n go find them at long john , i saw ??? . ?????? . ya . i dunch know how to react but i look at precious and i was blured . hmms . wanted just to walked pass but hmms . i dunch know why i open my mouth and talk . after tat told them to wait awhile and then i went up with precious to find them [ actually was suppose to go alone , but in the end common sense make precious pei me go up fer some reasons too ] . and den i came down alone to talk to them . dunch really know how to talk . dunch know how to react . dun noe what attitude i should give . dunch know what to do . i only looked at zhu because i don wanna nothing . so i just talk to her . zhu ask her to get to dunno which side and we talk bahs . like tat ? hmmms . ya . den befer we finish talking . she came back den we went up to smoke . [ not me ! =) ] den talked ehs . hmmms . how should i say ? hais . finally got a chance to say sorry with a hug . yups . told zhu i wish to forget everything bahs . so that i wun get into any more unhappy memories with them . den after tat i went down and they dunno go where oh . hmms . den suddenly saw them again becos precious said they were outside cartell or someting like tat . went out and they say they saw HER upstairs . i was not really that surprise but somehow i get disappointed . i just dunch know what reaction i should give at that moment . wasn't sure she was with who but i dunch know why something stop me , telling me not to go find her . becos it says if i zhao dao ta , maybe heaven would just become hell . and hell wil be the worst thing in life people cant take it . lols . abit kua zhang lar . but dunch know how tu sae nawh . den i just say , if see her again , just ask her call me bahs =) . hmms . tats the only thing i could do ? bu zhi dao . hmmms . den after went back to cartell with not really a good mood . really really pek chek at tat moment . [ this few days keep pek chek , also dunno why ] . den aftter tat manage to laugh n smile after baby and precious "quarrel and argue" . lols . they two so funny ehs . hees . den after tat we walked one round in cine , jus trying our luck if we can find her . but i saw nothing . my mind started flowing with her sis name . so i called her sis hp . and realise she was there . talked coldly , i wonder why . and then she said her mother had off todae . ask her why never at least call me tell me or something like tat , she told me tat " because i never call ue lors " [ somehow was disappointed why it became like tat and why would ue talk like tat but i just swollow down my throat ? ] ya . after tat i said BYE BYE AND PUT DOWN . [ i wonder ue got ting dao mar . later ue wu hui i kup again ] hais . btw i saw danbai at cine too , with her char bo bahs . dunno lar . dunno why i cant smile and give fan ying when i saw her char bo face . so pek chek . lols . i mean i pek chek lar . give those kind of face seh . shhhhh . lols . so i just walk away ? anyway i don think ue also wanna see me =) . thinking back , so many things happen ehs . lols . den after tat jiu go heeren walk walk . guess who i saw now ? damn . sophia and guan hong . fark lar . todae like my day like tat . * ps , i also saw zzhi yang * . hahas . den after tat guan hong don even dare talk to me lar . lols . she there ehs . den keep looking , i also dunno see what oh . jiu don care ler . den after tat at heeren , zean sae she tired wanna go home . den jiu go home . she todae whole day mood so bad so bad . i also dunno why . den after tat me , precious . baby and toot toot go plaza sing . hmmms . go arcade there , den they spent dunno how much go play tat dunno what game lors . just to win a hp . hehes . so toot hors ? lols . den play til so excited lar . shout here n there . hahas . but too bad , we won nothing . hahas . [ i stil got see who arhs . i think no one le . dunno , but i got a feeling stil got somebody ehs , cannot think of who isit . nvm . ] like tat nors . hmmms . den papa call jiu go down le . baby and toot toot go chinatown point . precious go home . lols . baby got one damn joke so funny nors . cannot tahan him . hahas . like tat bahs . todae precious also never chat with me on msn , keep sae i wanna snatch with her . diaos . buuuu ~ i wil not , dunch worry . not interested lar . ue know me interested in who ue stil so dots . roar . ya . like tat bahs . tats all for todae . hmmms .
todae alot things happen . hais . other than laugh like hell when wanna go home , jiu never really smile or laugh alot todae ler . hmms . all the way jus abit cold jokes here n there . smile and laugh fakely or just lian hei hei bahs . buuu ~~ still got crying part de . jiu shi zhe yang . =) . nvm . i'll accept what fate's giving me . i have no choices to choose now so i'll just continue with life . hmmms . tmr got school , siians . maybe not meeting precious le . don have the mood bahs . baobeix shaowei lar , say wan come sch outside wait for me den sae what if he come i dunch dare come out . damn . den he sae he don wan come liao . lols . but dunno wanna see who outside sch tmr . ? anyone wanna pei ? lols . buuuu ~~~~~ .
[ not quarrel or what bahs . maybe between the both of us we needa talk . ] WAIT . I RMB WHOSE THE OTHER PERSON LE . NG CHI WEN . YA , SAW HER WHEN ON THE WAY WALKING TO PS . HMMMS . GUESS WHAT ? WE TALK , WE SMILE . WE LAUGH TOGETHER ! . DOTS . SHE SAID " ONE DAY WE GO OUT OAYS ? =) " DIAOS . DEN SAY AGAIN " THE FIVE OF US ARHS . MUST REMEMBER " . DIAOS . LIKE TAT BAHS . DEN I THOT UE GOT CONTACT HER , SO I ASKED HER BOUT UE . BUT SHE ALSO SAY DON HAVE . DEN WE SAID BYE BYE , SEE YOU AND LEFT . dots . like tat bahs . okays . back to you . hmms . the worst thing bout ue is when ue suddenly got something on or what , ue wun call and sae bahs . and when u're too close with someone , you cant open ur mouth and tell her ur xin shi . tats what happen to wen n currently me bahs . now ue haf a new fren " ?? " dunno call what name . jiu shi zhe yang arhs . hmmms . now its a him . im glad ue can share ur probs with him but i dunch know what can he help ue in bahs . but if anything gets well , wil ue pls at least give me a call or leave me a nice message to tell me tat ue cant meet me or something . i've learnt to accept the fact ue everytime cannot meet me but i stil can accept the fact ue not telling me . you ask me to think about giving ue up and find others who're better than ue . so why tat time we quarrel , ue ask me not to ? few months ago bahs . why ? and now u're just giving up . i can change so why not ue ? is financial so important at this time ? isit really so important til ue can forget bout me or maybe givin our friendship up ? i dunch know about you . at least let me know you hate me or something like tat . so i'll not bother anything about our friendship anymore . anyway , just be happy with ur life if ue think without me is better . going out dosent need money , dosent need nice clothes . just a shirt and a short pants wil do . we can go anywhere we want . we don have to think of so much . its all depending on u now . hais .
precious , i feel we're getting further n further becos of her . i dunch know why but ue think so much . i can feel the gap between us . treat me beeter wil ue ?! . hmmms . i rather i have those serious talk with ue den playin . but really , im not going to fall for her . even if i wil , i stil think its impossible lar ! . well , ue think hao hao kays . ue don think so much bout other things le . stop hurting urself befer i hurt myself . i wil be much more worst den ue =) . start eating befer i complain ue to someone . understand ?! take care okays ? i miss you . =) .
school???!!! buuuu ~~ i dunch wan ... hmmms .
gerl , i not sure whether wil i be there tat day , thinking of that . i feel its abit extra for me to go and .. hmmms . i dunch know . some of my own reasons bahs . i'll try my best kaes ? =) . stop hurting urself too . not good . hmmms . =p .
darling gerl ` MAYBE THE FACT IS , SOME THINGS SHOULDN'T BE WRITEN HERE SO IT WUN HURT ANYONE OR MAKE THINGS MORE COMPLICATED . MAYBE WHAT I DID WAS WRONG . BUT I CAN FEEL I CHANGED ALOT , I WONDER IF MY FRIENDS THINK SO ? HMMMS . =) . i miss you =) . * siians face * .
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