Just remembered to blog something after i was done with the survey. Friends & family. Life & death.

Nothing much actually. Just that days been so bad that i manage to see through many people around me. & like what i've been thinking,everyone seems so true to you,but actually,the thought of them becoming backstabbers & hypocrites is really scary. If you're truly a friend,you would keep your words of whatever you say,but everyone seems so fake. Looking at how one of my closest one turn into a backstabber & someone who don't keep her words is really fuck up. This is not the first time she didn't keep promises and lie to me. & i'm tired of her nonsense. Don't decide to break off our friendship,but i know,i can never trust her again. I'm afraid i'm already starting to hate her ): Yes it is like this. I wanna get out of Outram soon. but of course i still don't wanna lose some friends that are worth every bit of my memory.


( Family ) Yesterday my 2nd aunt was admitted to the hospital. Emergency case. Knocked down by a bloody brainless KFC delivery boy. Was told that he was in his early 20's. It was serious & my whole family rushed to the hospital asap. At first she was admitted to Alexendra or whatever hospital. & know what ? After they found out there was a clot in her head,they had to sent her to NUH. Know why? because they didn't had the equipment that my aunt need. Wtf? After we rushed to NUH,she was lying there. Not the usual her of course. Was afraid she would go. Everyone wasn't feeling good,it was late at night already. Was so worried. Shall not elaborate more. But in the end,i receive a call this noon from my youngest aunt & said that the doctors did a scan on her head & found out that her head has a small blood clot in it & would vanish on its own,so she's alright (: Good news. If not my dad was so unhappy ytd. So worried that the hospital carpark was in front of him but he didn't know. (:

I'm bored! So i'll play this :D

Name 20 people whom you can think of right now.
Don't read the questions till you've named 20 people.

1. Xinhui ( girlfriend )
2. Judy
3. Darryn:)
4. Shaolun
5. James
6. Wenzhong
7. Joshua
8. Ken ( bro bro )
9. Deepak
10. Patricia ( baobei )
11. Anna
12. Tania
13. Baobao
14. Ethel
15. Deborah ( sis )
16. Jason ( bro )
17. Meizhu
18. Xiaoshan ( cousin )
19. Tracy
20. Sylvester

How did you meet 14?
( ethel ) School senior. Didn't talk,only know her till when i was sec 2 or 3. Got close a period of time,but not now. Seriously i miss her,but she's busy working !

What would you do if you've never met 1?
( Xinhui ; girlfriend ) I don't know,probably die. She had always been the one around me for the past 4 years. (:

What if 9 & 20 dated?
( 9's deepak,20's sylvester ) Think its possible? LOL. They don't even know each other & they are both guys!

Will 16 & 17 date?
( 16's Jason,17's Meizhu ) Impossible. 16's migrating or probably stay at japan for a period of time soon. 17's attach :D

Describe 3.
( Darryn:) ) He cute & he's mine. He's my partner in life.

Describe 7.
( Joshua ) Someone good to be with. Probably a good friend but he's a idiot who always bullies me. tsk.

Do you any of 12's family members?
( Tania ) Eh,is it counted yes or no? I had dinner & talked to her mum once. LOL.

What would you do if 18 confess to you that he/she likes you?
( Xiaoshan ) She's my cousin. So isit possible ? LOL.

Who is 9 going out with?
( Deepak ) No one (:

When was the last time you talked to 13?
( Baobao ) Er. Thurdays. Called her to ask something. (:

Who is 2's favourite band/singer?
( Judy ) I don't know. She has many favourite english bands & singers! LOL.

Would you ever date 4?
( Shaolun ) LOL. hmmm..

Would you ever date 1 ?
( Xinhui ; girlfriend ) Been dating her since long ago. Haa.

Is 19 single?
( Tracy ) Er. I not sure lehs. i think she's single lahs! But she's got her love! Hahaha!

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?
( Anna ) No,she's a female & she already has 2 daughters.

School of 3.
( Darryn:) ) Ngee An Poly.

Where does 6 lives?
( Wenzhong ) Woodlands. (:

What is your favourite thing of 5?
( James ) His funny jokes. The love & memories we use to have. (:

Have you ever seen 10 naked ?
( Patricia ) No of course. I already have difficulties taking her pictures. Haa.

Done! But i'm still very bored ):

Hi to shaggy little one. He went to have his full grooming yesterday at Serangoon,& it cost a bomb. But well,we had his shaggy fur shaved off from his face,shorter on his body,so he looks a little like a chihuahua now :D ( oh gosh,i just drop something and woke him up ).

Anw,prelims & N levels are on the way,like so soon. & i promised to pass,so i hope i will. But Vionna's gonna be very busy till N levels are over. Monday will be having math " tuition " ( is this how i spell tuition? LOL. Wednesday would probably be having Biology " tuition " . Friday eng. & all by my school teachers. I planned them,see,good girl right? Wait till my chinese teacher's back,then i'll plan my days again. But i want to work too ): thats why i left tuesday,thurs,sat & sun free. I've got no money,& i'm dying to shop. Even the self-designed shirts that those dearies bought,they're already here but i don't have the time to sent them out. STUDY STUDY STUDY,wth -.-

I'm turning a little crazy again. I was blog hopping and i came to his blog. I was laughing & smiling to myself. I remembered how i got to know him & how we ended meeting up. How we got together and how much people wants to see him. Then while reading his blog,came to know that he's happy with his life now,& its nice to know that you know?! But then thinking back,the way i cried for him,i'm stupid enough. LOL. Its past already. Guess at least 1 or 2 years have passed. Hahaha! Darn funny,but seriously,he still looks cute though. Thinking how i use to admire him,wanting to know him,then got to know him,fell in love,fell deep,he left and everything's gone. Sometimes i wonder,if we had remained as friends,or probably get together only now. Things would turn out better right? I don't know,but at least,he's still a memory in me :D No offence lah dear Darryn:) . PAST ma! LOL.

Ok ok,i've got nothing to blog about anymore.Can't think of anything. Concentrating on watching tv. Haha. Jackie just came to scold me,because i told him yesterday in school " eh,the more you lose,the more xin fu i am lehs. So lose more ah " Then guess what happen,he's losing now! :D LOL. Its Euro,and everyone's crazy about betting ! :D Any kakis?

Sometimes i wonder. (: If we were true friends or probably lovers,what has it left you lying? I've been receiving lies,and lies. Much more of people who don't want to admit and as though i'm the one at fault knowing the truth. Its tiring looking at their faces. Nothing i can say,the more i do,the more they blame on me.. Ya,its my fault for not knowing the truth & looking through you guys again.


School has started already,& its as usual,bored. Update something soon,i've got nothing to update ): Really soon really soon! I'm going to sleep soon,BORED. Life's as boring as ever.

Oh ya,quoted from girlfriend's blog.

" There will always be a solution to any problems,
Its just the matter of how you are going to handle it."

Keep this in all of my readers mind.Always remember,whatever that happens,we're a human too.We're part of this world and we have feelings too. Always fight for your rights instead of tolerating and listening to others. Some people learn from the start by looking at others misery.Some gotta fall and hit hard on their own,then they are able to learn. I'm one of the gotta fall and hit hard on my own,then i'm able to learn. Remember too,who you are,you can't ever find another you in this whole wide bloody world. So treasure yourself,and your life and the ones around you instead of neglecting all of them. This is who we all are,we don't have to change because of others. This is life,so much truth and pain. But there's nothing we could do,this is what we call " life" .

Because of me because of me ? Ya . Everything is because of me ?
So what if one day i kill myself and say its because of you?
I'll make you guilty the rest of your life,wondering why did you do like this .
I hate you yes i do. This is who i am from young.
the more you want to change me,the more rebellious i'll get.
And i'll see how much longer you can stand.
Nothing can change me,so don't bother.
You haven't bother since young,why now?
Its none of your business.
If probably you were the one who took care of me since young,i might be a good girl listening to your nonsense now without talking back.
But thanks for gambling since i was young and don bother to take care of me.
My memories since young was only dad,dad and dad.
Thanks ah. Thanks for everything you try to say its because of me now.
Making every quarrel between you and dad like mine.
I'm the one always listening and tolerating.
This is it. This is the end.
After 16 years of tolerating,i can only say this. I don't need any of your money,like what you always say when u scold me.
I don't need any part of you, should have probably kill me when i was born.
Dad's always been my everything,you had always been a stranger.
Someone i call mum but without any feelings at all.
Someone i know i have to call but i don't know who are you at all.
It dosen't even counts if you bring me back now,nothing will go back to normal,nothing will change.
Because the more you do,the more hatred will be there for you.
You aren't fit to be a mother,because ask yourself,since young,who's the one taking care of me and Audrey Jie ?
Don't boil mad now,because you must be thinking its dad taught me these. Must be thinking is yen peng and her family.
I'm sorry its not. They have always tried talking good about you. But i'm sorry again,this is what i see with my own eyes. These are the eyes you've given to me and what i've seen.
To others,you might be a very good mother. But to what others haven't seen,they're so wrong.
I'm tired as a daughter,trying to entertain every bit of you. I'm sick and tired.
Don't worry,no matter how bad my study is,my life wouldn't be like yours.
No matter how much you quarrel with dad,no matter how bad is dad is last time,no matter how much you've gone through,it dosen't concerns me at all.
I'm your daughter,not someone you're trying to teach to be a good girl,because you haven't done anything since young.
You think studying is everything,but too bad and sorry again,you're wrong.
I'm a human too,i have my rights to say everything which is right or wrong.
I have feelings too,please remember.
Treat me like your friend,care about her personal life,because the more you're scolding and nagging,the more you'll affect me and who i am and who i feel for you.
But to say the truth,no matter how much you're trying to make me feel like a mother for you,its totally impossible.
No matter how much people gonna scold me about this post,i don't care.
Because this is what you taught me from young.
To be as heartless as you.
Please remember,you're the one who born me out into this world.
What you're doing to me,i'll be the one learning from you.
And i'll change to be who u are.
But come to the thought of it,i don't think so.
I think i'll probably be a very good mother & wife. Thanks for your lesson these years.
I'll be a mother who will be around my child since young and always listen to her problems instead of asking her to study , study and study.
Don't worry. I wouldn't be like you.


Must be jumping mad now isn't it? Wondering why i've said all these? Ask yourself. Don't think about how good you are.Because if you want me to state out how good you are to me,i have none. Think of what you've done to me. Look at me. This is what i've become.
Threatening me won't work dear mum. I'm a 16 year old teenager who needs someone who really care and understand. Not someone you think i'm like Audrey.
Study and study. And only start her own life at the age of 21.
Its year 2008,its time to change.

These tears are killing me.
They hurt a million times more than i thought they would.
I miss you.

Goodbye to you & everything we had. Thanks for these memories.
You don't tell me why,but what can i do?
Accept the fact,close my eyes and look at the blank ceiling,showing our memories.
Closing everything that belong to us,all i want to remember now is our happy moments.

Damn funny show. Was laughing throughout the whole show lah! Rated : 9/10 :D Clumsy people falls in love too! Haha!
WHY DO I LOOK SO "WHITE" in ALL THE PICTURES AFTER THEY ARE BEING UPLOADED ON BLOGGER?!
and i look so tired ):

OMG,ghost -.-
HIHI weisheng :D
Look at the Big Big Lollipop Sweetie is holding?! I've got a blue one too! Judy actually got one for me and herself,then she gave sweetie hers. NICE right?! Haa.

OK,days been really bad. Its like,i will always say its a bad morning,afternoon or night. Its always like that,stop spoiling my day ): Yesterday was really really bad too,i nearly died. Rushed to meet my family for dinner,after dinner,went to meet up with Baobao & Judy for she-sha. Then Weisheng came. Sat there only for around an hour plus,then went to Tiong. Baobao went home from tiong. Some things happen,mood turned effing bad. As though i was going to kill anyone,anytime. Dragged our time there,wondering which show to catch,but there were like so many people and so long queues. So in the end,dad fetched us to Great world,went to bought movie tickets. Then some things happen again,nearly went crazy. Went to Mac to slack,cause show time was midnight and it was only 10 plus. Guess who made my mood back well again? Ain't humans,ain't insects,BUT CATS :D

I was sitting outside mac,looking around,when i see a few cats loitering around us. So i made a sound " meow " at one of the smaller size one. And then it kept " meowing " back lor! So i couldn't stand their cute-ness,realise that they was hungry. So went to get French Fries without salt to feed them. Was darn cute lah! U look at how they eat the french fries,you'll confirm turn happy :D So after trying very hard to feed all of them,i was just looking around when this guy sitting a few table beside us called me over and he showed me a packet of cat food :D Nice right ? Told me to feed them with the cat food,and if there's leftovers,return it to him . So me and Weisheng started feeding them,fed till weisheng got scratch on the hand by a black cat . -.- But i was concentrating on the smaller size one. After returning back the guy the packet of food,i just stood there,looking at the little one eating. Though i don't really like cats,but they have a life too isn't it ? Though cats aren't like dogs,they don't know how to remember their owner,but they need to eat too right? After yesterday incident,i totally fall in love with them. But of course i still love my ahboy more lah! :D

Anw,enough of craps. After slacking awhile and while feeding the cats,Tim appeared. LOL. Slacked with us till Darryn:) & Raza came. Other than Darryn:) & me,the rest of them was like joking about a very lame song. Made all of us laugh like hell. Soon,was time to go for our movie,Raza & Tim left for home,while the rest of us went for our movie. After our movie,all of us went back home :)

GIRLFRIEND JUST CUT HER HAIR! and she cut it " Bangs ". Haven't met up with her yet to see her new look,but whatever,school is starting on monday. Everyone can see! Haa! I wonder how she will look like. She says in her blog that she's quite happy with her new haircut. Hmmm,lets see how things go for the next few days or probably week. Haa!

Thanks for the memories,even though they weren't so great.
i've got nothing,to do with you. Ask yourself,why. & it dosen't concerns us.
You broke everything up,regardless of whose fault it is,its not my fault.
Don't push your un-happiness to me because the more you do,the more i hate you.
Don't come grumbling to me about what i've said,i'm stating the fact.
If you're not tired,i am. Being a 16 year old girl,i'm sick & tired of these.
Stop all of your nonsense,this is how i am.
I was brought up like this,and its impossible to change me...
Thanks for trying your best but its just impossible.

Had dinner with my dad,Darryn:) & my 4th aunty,was her treat. Went to Geylang for No Sign Board. Ordered many dishes again.
Chilli Crab!
Cereal Prawns!
MaPo Doufu!
Samba KangKong!
Ee Fu Mian!

You see?! So many dishes. But we finished them all :D I actually decided to cook Western food for tonight,because i bought many POTATOES for mash potatoes,and i was afraid those little potatoes would start to grow fungus or whatever soon,so i wanted to have western food tonight. BUT TOO BAD or probably luckily,my aunty called and said she wanted to treat us to seafood :D Not bad,delicious dinner(:

Back home around 9 plus,don't wish to talk about the rest:D Hope you guys enjoyed your dinner today too! Much loves.

I miss clubbing ): was browsing through youtube listening to songs. Then i came across this song. I miss clubbing ): If i don't go any soon,i'll probably die of fat-ness and lack of dancing ): DANCE DANCE! I miss clubbing with them... Those laughters and fun. Effing shit lah,whatever...

Girlfriend's off day but she misses her uniform day. So she wore the same too :D LOL!

Life's tiring,do you know that?
You're making my life more miserable than ever.
Spoiling my day again and again,its tiring....

Hi girlfriend,what are you trying to do?
Ok,i know,you want to take pictures with me.
Pregnant or what?! Stupid girl.
I was being " flowery ".

Disturb disturb.
I always take nice pictures of you. :D thank me.
Un-successful.
Still un-successful.
Finally a better one.
Cakie cakie,whoooo.

Colours of our soup was a joke afterall. LOL.

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY 宝贝 (:

Bad bad morning,these days are full of nonsense. Woke up around 12.30pm,went to bathe & prepare. Dad came to fetch me,then to purmei to fetch 宝贝 & Tracy. Was raining heavily out of a sudden,and dad's car aircon was spoilt. Had a difficult time in the car cleaning everywhere.Reached Tiong,went to raja inn to find girlfriend. & her dressing was totally the same as the workers there. Darn funny. So after eating and having fun,went to walk around. Went in to many fast food restaurants,sat down without ordering anything,talk a little,then walk off. LOL. After 宝贝 went to have dinner with her family,while me and the girls continue to rot. Went to Cold Storage to get my things,waited for dad then came home. Packed a little,brought ahboy to my aunt's house. Slack for an hour or so and came home(: Little one's sleeping now,cuddling in between me and the pillow :D Tmr gonna be a long day too,i miss Anna & Tania lah !

thanks for everything you're doing that you think is right.
but you're so wrong,too wrong.
i don't know,i have got nothing to say.

Had a terrible Tuesday afternoon. Look at my swollen eyes,damn bloody not worth it. Whatever. Went to Bukit Timah with Darry:) , Dad & Auntie for dinner. Order damn loads of things to eat,saw my long lost good friend,YongJie working there(: He looks so cute still. Haha. Can't imagine 3 years ago,broke up with Darryn:) because of him. Damn stupid. But in the end,till today,i can say seriously, though we don't always meet or contact,but whenever we do,we don't feel separated at all. Well,this is life isn't it? Anw after eating,came back home. Bad bad day today ): Not happy at all.

Dear ultimate hater,
you sound so cute in all your posts & i really like you! Thanks for hating me and those girls because when you think you gonna make us mad,we think that you're being stupid. Like what i say,since you like editing pictures so much,you can save all our pictures we post on our personal blogs and you go edit them! Thanks for doing that anw,i don't have the time to edit pictures. So well well,no matter what,continue doing what you think is right and good for others ok! So nice of you to do so. Oh ya oh ya,guess you should stop twit-ing because you sound so fake,obviously you did your twit-ing language on purpose. Whatever it is,just telling you that i know you're reading my blog,so keep up the good work ah! Lurrrbbbx euuuu forrx boosttttinng oourr reputatiooon :D

Pictures before we went off.

Hi daddy! Why are you smiling so happily?!
My delicious supper i cooked. Scallop porridge :D
Girlfriend's disgusting spagetti. She used over due milk to cook it,imagine the taste?
My house kitchen's clock.
Judy's drunk.
Girlfriend said she sense a great motherly love from this picture. Got mehs?
Yum!

See my finger? I broke it when i was playing with Darryn:) . So painful lor.


Very random picture when i was playing with the cube. -.-

Day One:
Didn't sleep quite alot the previous day,so mood was a little upside down. Girlfriend surprised me in the morning before we went off and so i ran to hug her,she didn't had the strength to carry me so in the end,i fell down. Headed our way down to the airport,took some pictures that i'll upload later,then we went off. Took ThaiAirways this time,it totally sucks. Got Judy & me so sick. I was having nose block,flu and cough and we even sat all the way to the end,so the pressure was different compared to any other seats. Had our whole body ache when we got down the plane,was cursing and swearing all the way. Slept in the bus on our way to the hotel again,had to go to the other hotels to let off the other passengers,so it took us more than an hour to alight. Had to wait a long time for us to check in to the room due to some reasons so we went for our lunch first.Came back,waited a little while then we finally got our rooms. Took a little nap,got up in the evening and went to the " four face buddha temple ". After that,we went for a small shopping spree,dinner then back to our hotel to rest for our next day.

Day Two:
Woke up at 8'o clock in the morning,had a bloody difficult time to wake judy up. Nearly vomitted blood. First day breakfast in the hotel was delicious :D After breakfast,dad looked at my face and knew i needed the toilet to SHIT :D , so we went back to our room and SHIT ! Rest awhile then went to Chatuchap. Of course i bought many tees this time,got darryn a few tees,boxers,pants. Judy didn't find anything she like,i wonder why. Think her taste was to high,haha! Took a cab back to our hotel,left our things in the room because it was damn heavy and dad was carrying them,hehe. Then we went to have KFC because Judy wanted to. Their chicken was damn different,they even had spicy chicken rice. Not as good as i thought,partly i had a ulcer on my tongue,bloody pain ): Again,shop around the shopping centre,bought a few things again,then back to the hotel,left our things and went for Thai massage. Damn shiok,but Judy kept laughing. Had dinner then went back to hotel. :D

Day Three :
Woke up at 8'o clock again. Prepare and then went to have our breakfast. Not as delicious. But then after breakfast,we had to SHIT again :D so we did the same thing again,went back to our room. Judy was snatching the toilet from me,so i had to be a good girl,let her use first. But then the toilet door could be peep through. So i peeped through and laugh at her till she couldn't stand,so she went to my father's room toilet,then i can use the toilet :D Rest in the room for awhile because i had stomach ache,ate too spicy earlier on,so in the,i went to the toilet the second time. Went to Platunam,somewhere our hotel,but we gotta walk quite a long distance though we say its somewhere around our hotel. After shopping for a few hours,went back to our hotel rooms,took a afternoon nap then went to Chinatown for our seafood dinner :D Ordered 5 dishes,ate till our stomach was so bloated. Back to our hotel,bathed and after wanting to sleep,i suggested to go supper :D Had supper,came back to our hotel rooms,slack a little while,then slept for the next long day !

Day Four :
Coming back to singapore this day in the night. So woke up around 8 plus,prepared,went to had breakfast,then went to shop again. Came back to the hotel after a couple of hours to packed our luggage.After checking out,went to have massage again :D Then we went to have our lunch,duck noodle soup,YUM.Back to the hotel,waited for awhile,took some pictures,then the bus driver came to pick us up. After reaching the airport,walked around,had our dinner at a Japanese restaurant then it was time to fly back! :D After reaching Singapore,took a cab back home,un-packed our things. While Judy and Darryn was watching movie in the hall,girlfriend came to find me. Talked then i doze off. Girlfriend left in the morning around 6 to 7 plus while i think Judy left around 12 plus i guess :D


You're as good as a stranger.
I don't know who you are neither you know who i am.
You're just acting as though i owe you,but whose the one who in fact really owe me what i deserve?
You don't know me,you just want me to be like her,and its impossible dear.
I'm not interested in anything about you. This is me,just me.