Saturday, July 22, 2006

memories flashed . crying , writing .


i can't stand ur damn attitude and character anymore . i dunch care who ue are with or anything . you're just so damn damn fark . if the bell hadn't ring , miss chan never come . i would just slap ue right in front of ur dears , ur senior . i make sure u'll throw ur face in front of them . i cant stand ue acting ke lian in front of them . i cant stand ue acting innocent and everything . oh for goodness sake , i've known ue for more than a year , ue think i won't understand ue ? oh please .. stop complainng to others about me . its useless becos i don give a damn anymore .. i've lost so many . its ue who made her so cold towards me . no its not only her . its her n her . can ue don throw bung de face mar . ue make them hate me . i'll make people hate you . i want them to hate ue til no ones with ue . stop turning ur words round and round . i've tolerate for weeks . one more time , i warn ue here .. im sure she wil tell ue so im warning ue . one more time i hearrd anything from ue to me . i'll not let ue off . i wil not . ue make them misunderstand me . ue told them that things which were not true . and now ue ended me up like that . i'll curse ue . curse the damn hell out of ue . how i wish i had slap ue todae , how i wish i had scratch ur skins off .. stop acting ke lian , innocent . stop being so fake . i can seee .. my friends can see . only them .. they cant see .. cos you told them things which weren't true and i had not the chance to explain myself . its your fault , all urs . ue shouted at me ehs ? saying its not ur fault ehs . show me .. show me .. slap me if ue dare .. why dunch ue dare to say things bad about me right on my face ? why must ue tell joey and huihui ? why must ue tell the dogs of outram ? save urself some face .. you took them away .. took them far far away . ue must have bribe them with ur acting . lets wait and see . rmb .. don throw our " lesbians " face .. for damn shit ... eu are such a shame .. one more time .. i've not been so fed up for three years .. u broke my record ... wait .. lets wait and see what wil happen next okays ? stop diaoing me .. stop staring at me . its useless becos ue are useless . ue dunch dare to talk about me in front of me .. such a turtle i look down on . hopeless shit .. never want me to forgive ue . its impossible . i dun need anyone to help becos its over the limit of my toleration .. i wil just carry everything that i gonna do to ue myself ..

i didn't meant to push ue away todae .. ue know me .. i told you .. you know my attitude and character ... i know she must have said alot of things .. don deny .. i know you blame me for pointing and shouting and pushing ue away but im really sorry . i cant stand her anymore .. i really cant .. i nearly broke down todae when scolding ue . since the day she left , i've never led a tear .. i know myself . the worst thing is im not crying .. cos everything keeps inside .. til one day , if i really goonna break down . everything wil be just in a mess . i agree its a big blow to me , becos we promise each other not to leave no matter what happen .. i know u're happy , i know u're not caring anymore .. but i really cant take it .. if i've cried todae , if i've break down todae . history would repeat itself .. nothing can be done out of it anymore . i've kept my tears and sorrows in heart and mind .. no one knows how it hurts .. im stating the fact .. imr eally so out of control now .. im really sick of being myself without ue . im stil not use to it . it hurts myself looking at ue walking away .. it hurts me not replyin ur hies .. i cant do anything anymore . how i wish i could forget . i walk pass ue seeing ue smiling with them , but i cant take it when i see ue laughing and playing with tat farker .. i cant .. there was a few times , tears flow in school after seeing ue . turn away , running to the toilet was all i can do . the small little piece of letter left on ur table without ur replies , is the last and only letter .. i'll never bother ue but ue cant stop me from missing ue , caring ue .. ue can't stop me from anything , everything about ue . i sang the songs we've sang together , i lost my mood . * crying *

darling gerl ` i don mind not having any friends . i mind without you around .. even if its not as a friend . i said i choose the selfish way of not even being friends but i cant do it . every blog's wil contain something about you everytime .. ~ . dunch ue realise ?

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