How much more do you want me to lose just because all of your selfishness ? Is it even worth it for you guys ?

Some " friends " are just ain't worth believing for . Trust`em times and times , over & over again , & now they're just taking everything like nothing .

Aren't they just like shit afterall ? So not worth it isn't it ?

Waiting & waiting , believing this & that , what the F am i getting now ?

People like you girls & guys just think that i'm selfish & unreasonable , but why not put yourself in my shoes ?

Damn it , i've had enough & i'm really very tired of it .

Tell me , why am i so foolish to stick by you people & keeping my sorrows to myself and everybody thinks that i can be taken advantage of ?

Ask yourselves , when you guys were down , who's there for you ?

When u guys needed help , who was the one there ?

& now your circle of friends has increase , what am i now ? Rubbish ? Nuisance to you people ? Or whatever you can think of ?

Tell me if you think what you gonna do , don't lie , don't talk craps , don entertain me . I don't think i'm in for that .

It does hurt you know , it does . & its not that i can't understand it , you people are just over-doing it !

I kept it to myself last time when i can still tolerate and look openly , then its too much now .

I always get so fed up , then i realise this is the only place i can pour my sorrows out , durhs , although i'm not saying everything .

Cause some without brain people will misunderstand , because they don't understand me well enough , then tons of things will happen .

Anw , this's my blog , i yell and i do everything here , if you ain't happy with what i right , you can don't read . Don't come coming to my tags and talk craps like irritating cockroaches .

Don't bother me . I don't like my life with lots of problems . I'm having more than enough .

Regretted agreeing on going FLUID for the first time .

Regretted stepping into it .

Regretted when i decide to go to DXO , then zouk .

Regretted opening my house to everyone that is counted my friend .

Regretted believing everyone for who they are .

People do change , they really do .

What can i do when they change ? Accept the fact .

And never trust someone when you just know them .

Like for example " Some people you just get close with & their character & attitude to you is real good , goshed , don't believe . Thats not who they are , they will just changed to another person after the next few weeks , or even years "

I'm going for the Jay Chou's tea party tmr @ DRAGONFLY ! :D .

So i'm not going to school because the thing is starting @ 1 !

& i didn't went to school today too =x . Laughs .

& there's a underage party on the 4th & 8th !

4th is @ cine opposite . Only some lucky people informed :D !

8th is @ Sentosa Siloso Beach :D . Its bikini party time darlings .

And for more details , find a way to contact me . =) .

Another thing is , i'll be spending some time to design my own clothes .

& i won't be doing on complicated ones first , i will start on shirts .

Couple shirts & shirts for best friends are available too !

Wait patiently okays . Should be taking a long time =) .

Save money first people ! Shall tell you more about it soon :D .

Support me alrights ! Loves .

I miss those days back . I've lost some friends due to their fight . & i've lost a friend to love & the decisions that i've made wrong .

To have fun is really nothing , it means nothing @ all .

So its my fault now ? Because of my selfish act ? Because i have friends both sides ? Blaming me ? Everything started because of me ? Again ? Whatever .

I don't know what to say . 2 person got stab , Deekie give own people beat , own friends quarrel then fight , all my fault ? Don't know what i thinking ? Who was the one who told me then if i can ask him go , better go , arbo confirm tio , cas his friends are abit out of their mind that day . Who ? How i know you guys would be so free , find own friends if can't find the guy . Get this clear first before scolding me . Which group of people started all these probs first ? Which group of people went to kio AX first . And then ended everything up like that ? If you guys wouldn't mind so much , would so much things happen ? Actually i don't have to bother about you guys from the beginning . But if i don't bother , people say that i'm heartless , my fault . And then when now i'm bothering , you guys say i'm doing too much . Isn't that so ? In the eyes of you people , brothers come first , but why is it your own people getting bash up by their own friends ? You asked me to chill after scolding me and putting down my phone , you think its very fun ? You know how much it hurts being scolded for unvalid reasons ? You said be it never say or say , because of one fcuker go , so many probs happen . Aren't you hinting me that its my fault all the way ? Whatever sweetie , i'm sick & tired of all these stupid problems around town . You guys were the one who made town such a mess , don't leave me to clear the mess .

Ytd went to meet my roy roy . Came fetching me with his family big big car :D . Then the both of us went great world for dinner , some talking and shopping around . Then fetch me back , waited for dad downstairs with him . Then he went back to find his friends =) .

Actually going out with syl and his mum today , but he thought i bluffed him about my house number , so he didn't bother to call . Didn't manage to wake me up , so i'm staying @ home today . Goshed , i'm bored . Asked me out , someone ! Durhs .

Fed up .

ARGHS ! I hope you people just fcuking die . Oh my god . You people have been irritating me since ytd night . My phone just kept ranging and ranging . & i damn fcuking hate people lying to me and giving me attitude in messages or calls . Fcuking damn pissed off . I'm not a messager , i can't go around helping , finding people & then you don't even fcuking appreciate . Only know how to kept asking for more and more . I'm not a entertainer , its not that if no ones accompany you , then u want to go out with me or accomapny me . Damn it . If you want to leave your things with me or whatever shit , damn it , its my time , go with my time & not asking ur DEAR to irritate me . Or not going telling everyone to ask me call him . Damn it , you guys are fcuking fcuked up . What do you think i am ? So free isit . Fcuk . Come on man . You guys wanna me what ? Off my phone or what . Damn it . Fcuk off , better man . People around me are starting to piss me off with their character and attitude . Things turn so bad that i fcuking dislike them now . What close one , what best friend , they're all bullshits okays . Nothing but just rubbish . Damn . Think my house is what . wan come u come , don't want come then u guys run no where to be seen . Fcuking hell , friends isit , or sisters ? Knn .

Then what's wrong with you people nowadays ? Love fighting and quarreling so much ? Or using people for some things you wanna achieve for ? Or love finding problems around to make your name so big ? Then i only have a sentence for you people " Fuck off from my friends and me " . Damn hell . Town have been so problematic every week . So much problems and fighting . Every week , at least one of my love ones would be hurt . Or how about last tues , told you people i was suppose to meet my laode and people . In the end ? They just reached and their friend got slashed . Fucking hell . And they have to go back to woodland or hospital or whatever shit . Damn . Me and that bitch thing also not finish yet . Nowadays nothing to do isit . so free huh . You see me , i see you . You kill me i kill you isit . Goshed . People , if you people are one of those idiots im talking about , pls keep ur hands , eyes and mouth to yourself . Don't dirty them . You'll be scolded fucking useless by me , and i'll be laughing if you're dead by then .

Don't take me for granted . If i'm kind and friendly to you , don't show me your fucking attitude and treats me like i'm your slave . Then when i start grumbling , you guys run around and start spreading stupid unreal rumours . Or go around telling your own friends how bad i am . So ask yourself , when the times i treat you guys well , what am i to you then ?

Some people that i gonna talked about later . P/S , this is only SOME of the people , not all . Don't be stupid .

A nice intro before you guys start to read the post below . Some of the faces you see here , their names will be mentioned below later =) . This's denny [ ah wen ] .
The one holding on to his ahem [ durhs ] , is my older brother . Goshed . Its taken on his birthday =) . He looks rather ugly in this pic but its well took by don't know who . I shall show you his other pics the next time i blog [ if i rmb ] . Not all his pictures are in my dad's laptop .
This is Dickson , named deekie =) . Ah hao !

Common sense tells you that the one with the purple hair band is me . The one wearing sunglasses is ethel while the one and only guy is cornelius =) . Look @ his cute red face .

I held onto my heart & listened to the heartbreaks that you've caused silently .

Got woke up by a call , two missed calls from denny [ ah wen ] . Was thinking if i should call back , in the end , i called . Because he wouldn't miss call me for unvalid reasons unless he's really bored . Worst , it is like 3 plus in the night now . Got the shock of my life , i shouldn't have call back . But at least i guess i know whats gonna happen on sat or fri . I should have kept my mouth shut , i shouldn't have said anything to denny @ sis's house . & now , i'm causing 2 troubles for myself when i thought i wouldn't . Probably you guys would wanna know about ah xing getting beaten up @ town last sat . But i wouldn't wanna talk much about it . Deekie brought the whole prob up about xing asking me to be with him . He isn't happy with it . But i don't feel its because of me , the whole thing just happened because now , there's a reason for you & your brothers to bash him up . It was a long ago things you guys wanna do , just that there weren't any reasons for you guys to do so . I became the reason now . & these makes you guys feel better , but what about me ? Both sides are my love ones , what can i do ? I wasn't @ town last week , both days i wasn't there . Should i say that i'm lucky because i didn't went down and these happen ? Some said if i had went down , maybe i could have stop these things from happening . Some said i shouldn't blame myself because i'm just a victim of the whole thing . I felt so guilty when deekie told me . But there was nothing else i could do . It happened still . Xing , i can help you once , but not twice . I once talked about you to Ken [ woodland ] , promised not to beat you , not even his brothers . But i didn't know by doing that , i'm causing more probs in the end . Now this bunch , i can do nothing to stop it . People go around telling each other " eh , don't tell vionna anything ok " . I know you guys care about my feelings , but have you guys ever wondered , what if i'm going down this week , and those looks on their face looking @ me , won't i feel worst ? Even if you sweeties don't tell me , someone who started the whole thing would .

I was the one who called Chris & asked him about the whole thing , i was the one who nudge Chris in msn , to force him to tell me . I was the one who asked hongling to tell me everything . Different stories i've heard , who should i believe ? & now i'm putting my love one into trouble . I know he shouldn't call you a pu bor , but it was all because that he was too angry . If it was you , you would also be very fcuked up that your own brother is beaten up right in front of you . Ain't i right ? Should i clarify anything of this ? & what ? When i go down this sat / fri , i gonna see another loveone of mine getting bash up ? Just because of me again like what you people said ? And what , i couldn't do anything what . You guys just wouldn't listen to another thing i say . Denny's like entertaining me , " kk , we won't find him de , kk . " What is this ? Entertaining me or trying to make me feel better ? Those people were the one who were there for me when i was @ my lowest point of life . They were the ones who brought those colours back to my life , silly . & now , just because of what i've told denny , gonna put him into trouble . How am i ever gonna face them again . I'm sick of going down town & always seeing my own friends get beaten up or whatever . To prevent myself from not knowing all this , i took this chance & i didn't went down last week . But what i get ? Worst things happening . You told me to keep my mouth shut and not tell about him . Now my heart aches like something being pierced through , while i can only see all these things happening when i can do nothing @ all . You're always like that , violent , bad tempered , bad attitude & character . I can't change you , neither can i stop you from doing all these . While your so called brothers can , but they wouldn't . They support you , not thinking whether they are my friends or not . Since things gonna end up like that , then i shall keep my mouth shut then . I really don't know what to do anymore , i keep my hands off everything from you . From the day i knew who you were , till the day we talked and looked into each other's eyes , it was all early planned nicely by fate . I shouldn't have looked back into your eyes , i shouldn't have .....

Maybe its time again for some heart to heart talk for the both of us . No , its not that we call & ask where you've been and then nothing else . When you're gone away from us , ask urself . Even if you don't want to call ur mum to tell you where you are , at least give us a call to tell us who or where u gonna be . Its not that we wanna care too much about your stuffs , its that we're too use to you being with us . & even your mum thinks so . So whenever your mum gives us a call to ask where you are , we'll be worrying & wondering if you're with your boy . Yes , although we totally disagree about you being with him , but there's nothing we could do , ain't i right ? You guys are in love & we wouldn't want to break you guys up just because we dislike him . But girl , so what with the difference of you're single and not now ? Have you ever think back when the times me / sis were attach , did we leave any of us like how you're leaving us ? We rather spent time together , even if we promised to go out with someone , we would still rather go out together . Ain't i right ? I know you gonna say that we couldn't contine like this being together , you still need time with your bf alone . So since its like that , i hope whoever you're with , tell us . I mean at least tell us who you will be with & whether you're going home anot if you're not with us . If not when you mum or sis calls , we're speechless . Can't even bluff your mum because we ourselves don't know where you are . & if you're staying over @ his house , tell us first , don't say u don't know or no , because you always make your decision suddenly . So if one day you tell us you're not staying @ his house , then suddenly you gone missing the whole night , the ones worrying will be us again . & for bla bla , pls ask your boy to answer his damn phone when we're calling him or reply our message if we messaged him . & not after you go or what then come telling me that " oh , sorry , she go already " . No silly , we don't have to quarrel about such stuffs . We just want you to know that how fcuked up we can get when we can't find you or when you promise us to come & not in the end . Its like when me & sis quarrel , you was also very uneasy that she wasn't here with us rmb . & in the end , i had to put down my pride to message her . But luckily , we're so much better than the previous time now . So its the same for us , worst thing is that you're now spending time with your boy instead of any of us quarreling with you . Nvm about all these . Put them behind us then . Just rmb everything i told you , be very careful . Not that he's a bad guy , but you know what i'm trying to tell you . You know yourself baby . Don't take this relationship too seriously because if you're the one ending up getting hurt , probably me and sis would be the one not letting him off . We can't do much , just that you know what we can do for our limit alrights baby . I can see anyone get hurt and my heart can break tons and dozens of time , but not you . Because you know how important this friendship means to me & if anyone does hurt you or break this friendship , you know the consequences those people gonna get . Rmb about the me , you , lao de and my baby outing tmr . Don't forget . This is very important because laode don't have the time for us always . Ok ? =) .

Time flies and when it does , people around me do change alot . I was sitting in a corner alone , thinking about some stuffs again when suddenly i rmb the first time i met my brother . The way we talked & play , i didn't know why i didn't have any strange feelings like i have for others . I remembered we got along well , thats why we're still so close now . Although he changed alot , his attitude towards me , but i can still feel how much he still does dotes on me AND OF CAS LOVE ME :D . Then after him , i remembered the first time i saw lao de . He looks so unfriendly at first , but then he turn out to be a good person i never thought . He's even bringing me & my girl out tmr :D . The time between us isn't as much as you people get together , but the more we don't see each other , the bond between us gets stronger as days passes . I remembered the first day we met , he brought us to BILLY BONKERS for drinks , and he ordered a vanilla and chocolate milkshake for each of us . Isn't that so sweet ? =) . Then he act like a hero telling james that he shall pay for the bill , and when the bill came , the price was like , WHAO . So whole face change . Lols . Cute isn't it . You readers have no choice but to says he's cute because he's my lao de ! Then after him , its yong jie . This silly guy here knows me more than anyone else . The memories we had together is more than i had any memories with others . When i don't get to sleep late in the night , he knows why . When i don't go to school or get out of my house , i swear he's the only one who knows the reasons behind it . Then now for syl and peter those bunch of guys , these ex outramians , the ones who loves me the most . The ones who always brings me out when they realises its been decades since we met . THEN ETHEL , MY SECOND ONE IN MIND ! i don't dare to write her chinese name here , probably she's gonna appear at my house tmr after she reads my post and then chop me into pieces . lols . She just brought me out the few days before syl did . :D . Well , there's many many others who left wonderful memories with me & i hope i did for them too . These people will be the ones who'll be leaving part of my teenenge memories nice and wonderful . Although some left and new ones came , but isn't this part of life ? :) . Treasure the ones with you now , cherish them with tons of love , because these people will be the ones who will be a part of memories . I'm sure you wouldn't want to think back when you're old enough and have nightmares of them right . Hahahas !

Well , what a long post this is . All denny's fault . Woke me up from my beauty sleep when i was sleeping soundly like a pig . & now he's off to sleep himself , calling me a school girl . Damn it . Anw , durhs , i don't even know if i'm going school later . Because i didn't went ytd . =x . No blaming , because school is really boring & i really get tired when i see books . I need to sleep rather than study ! Blahs . Anw , i'm suddenly kinda of interested in designing my own shirt and bla bla bla . Do you guys know anywhere i can ask the person to print out my own designed clothes and their material for clothings are good in the another way too ? I need a supplier ! Lols , am i right . I guess so ~ Hahahahas ! Tell me soon alrights ! :D . Alrights , i'm gonna accept ahmani's friend request in friendster then going off to rest again . I have tons of testi yet to be replied , i guess i have 6o or 7o over of it & im so lazy to reply . 1o or 2o over friend requests yet to be accepted by me & i'm so sorry guys ! I'm just so not into using friendster anymore , so wait patiently then :D .

I miss you lying by me . Cuddling me to sleep . I love you sticking close to me .

I dislike you for leaving me alone . I hate you for your selfish-ness .

I want you , I do need you for life .

I'll be here , lying to the others i don't need you .

I'll be here , lying everything about you .

I can hardly breathe without you .

But i'll always be here lying about the person i love ,

till the day things been settled and you're back .

By then , i will stop lying to everyone , including myself .

I hope the things i say now , means everything to you .

Baby , you know who you are , and i'll be waiting for the day ,

things are done so that you can be back by me .

I will be the one who gonna hold you tight & give you every bit of my love .

Till then , i'll never let you go .

I know , i know the day's gonna come soon =) .

I'm sorry but please wait , wait patiently for me baby .

MINJ* : =) . I just put my friends as my first place in heart .

LIMJINGHAN : Hahahas , yup .

KENNY'S : Where got never find you le ! Aiyo .

STELLA : I miss you too :D , we shall get out soon ok . Hurhur .

QERALDINE : Haas . =) .

SOFIA : You will baby =) . You must smile more often too ok . loves .

JOANNA : Take care too girl !

BOOSBOOS : Hahas . I believed she did say something about us , if not those people wouldn't say her for unvalid reasons . We weren't the same level as her & had not been to sch often , why of all us ? Haas , & don't anyhow say oh , we never everytime think people see us buey song . Is people thought we see them buey song .

SARAH : I 153cm only . lols .

GERALDINEWANG : I thought we were suppose to meet up ! Hahahas ! Talk to me lahs !

♥PEARL : You ring me up soon lahs ! Contact me you this bo xim de . Hahahas . I miss you too , and u better take good care of yourself ok . loves baby .

♥CHEER`UP:) : Haas , thank you & you take care too alrights .

YO : No , why .

WENZHONG : Aiseh , you also know how to tagg me ahs . lols . Good ! Still wu xim .

JOYCEFAITH : i will =) .

XIN : Lols , he love me more ma . Different ok , you now got YOUR BOYFRIEND .

SHAOWEI : I will baby , you take care too alrights . Misses =) .

TAGG MORE ALRIGHTS , Although i reply really late at times . Hahahahas ! Thanks :) .

Heart aches & heart breaks , would you be able to hold them together ?

I fake every smile on my face .

Wednesday : Reached school late so gotta go detention after school till 5 . Usually we'll get out of school first & then come back @ 5 to take our things . Me & xin went for lunch @ tiong bahru then went to sis house to play mahjong . @ first was told that there were only me , xin , sis , ah wen , weirong . When we reached there , weirong brought another friend named David . I was kinda unfriendly to david @ first but after that , we really did get along well =) . So we played start the game , then darryn & his friend came . Then they went to fetch sean [ Edmund's cousin ] while me & xin headed back to school . Was late already so took a cab down , took the keys & then came back to sis house . Soon then , ah wen reached . Played one game and went to cresent for dinner with xin , sis , ah wen , weirong & david . All of us had western food , yumyum . Came back home with ah wen & sis . Pictures took above . Durhs , able to only upload these and then stupid blogger says i can't upload more . Damn . Again , played mahjong for awhile then ah wen went home . Yawns , doze off quite early that night .

Thursday : Same , was late for school again with xin . So went for lunch @ school's canteen then accompanied patricia to SGH dental for her braces thingi . Then dad fetched us back to school for keys again & then we headed back home . Xin went to meet her DEAREST BOYFRIEND while i prepared quickly to meet ethel , corn & lawrence [ ethel's friend ] . They were waiting for me downstairs so i had to rush like hell . lols . Went for dinner @ the back lane of bugis . Had steamboat then we went to Raining Bar . Been deacdes since i last touched alcoholic drinks . Corn looked so cute when his face is so red lahs . Then i started to get abit giddy while playing the stupid game of 5:1o . Lols . Reached home around 10 ? Hahahas . Gave up my friday & sat outing just for thurs . So i'm staying @ home for this two days . Blahs . Again , i dozed off quite early . Yawns . I'm not getting enough sleep ! Help ~

Friday : Hahahahas ! Reached school late again but i was able to run away from wong wong . Phew . All sec 3's were brought to The Discovery Centre for some Racial Harmony thing . Came back to school around 12 plus then all headed back home . Me , xin & patricia went to Great World City for lunch because patricia owe me a meal for my birthday while i owe hers . Went to have japanese food , really a great restaurant . Ate , then walked around , then all headed back to purmei . Went to sis's house to slack while i buy her , her lunch . I guessed it right , ah wen was @ sis house . Lols . Lets not talk about it . So after that , slack slack & slack then i went home around 6 plus . Again i dozed off =x . I feel so not like myself . I didn't smile / laugh for the whole time in school . I felt like something's bothering me but then , i don't know what it is . But nvm , i know now =) . Felt so uncomfortable staying @ home on a friday's night . I would usually go to town but durhs , nvm , take this chance to let those people miss me :D .

So for today , saturday , i just woke up from a real bad dream & i'm here writing my blog . Gonna get back to sleep after this . Wheeees , my eyes are half open now & i'm feeling aches all over . I need a rest seriously i do ! Let's wait & see if i'm able to get out of my house later !

There's clubbing going on later @ Fort canning .

26th MOS .

31st MOS .

Next month , 8/8/07 @ sentosa siloso beach .

Hahahahas ! So many right , but i think i'm only going for the sentosa siloso beach one although i really want to go for today's Fort Canning . Nvm then ~

I don't know what i want , i really don't know . It won't do any good saying some things out here so i rather keep everything quiet . Jealousy causes death . Too much of hurting . I'm really tired . Its so easy to fall in and out of love . When will it be me , the one being loved ? Friends ? Lovers ? Nothing good will last . Why should i face the facts when i really wanna change it ?

I need flowers like roses .

Oh goshed ! I can't believe i can upload my pic up ! Goshed ! I'm so surprised ! Okays , whatever , i was actually coming here to crap abit because i'm really bored & so i try to upload one picture , surprisingly , it appeared ! & its currently 6.20am and i've not got a wink of sleep yet . WHAT ?! I just couldn't get to sleep & i think its because i'm use to night life . Boos , durhs .

Anw , i have tons of pics to upload and i think i'll have to try it out again tmr . Did not went to school ytd again , Laugh out loud . & still , i'm hoping my dad don't wake up today . Hehheh . Because i'm hoping that i can sleep till afternoon again . I'm getting tired real soon . Hahahahas ! Yong jie said i couldn't get to sleep because he's sure that something's on my mind thats bothering me . I somehow agree to it , maybe its because i'm getting Emo nowadays again . I took alot of Emo pics that night after i came back from Aloy's chalet . Hehheh .

Well , whatever . I don't know why , but whenever i start updating my blog , i will get tired and my eyes will close . Boos ! Make this a short post & i'll update soon . I'm so lazy , i have 6o over testimonials to reply in friendster & even if i have the time , i won't want to reply . Probably i'm getting sick of it . LOLS !

Alrights , enough of crapping for today / now . I'm off to rest . Looking into my pack of cigg , i'm left with 2 sticks ! What the ... Gotta get daddy to buy for me later on . I'm broke , jealous ? Hahahahs ! Currently biting on to one stick and trying to light it up while typing . Trying to be funny thats all . Laugh out loud . Okays ~ Gonna lie down now . Goodnight readers .

P/S : Still , praying that dad's phone dosen't ring & he dosen't wakes up . I still have 15 mins to rest if he's going to get up . If it reaches 7 , and i'm still awake while he's still sleeping , i think i can get to sleep peacefully then . LOLS .

I always needed time on my own , i never thought that i needed someone when i gonna cry . & now you're away , i can only count the steps you gonna take . When you're gone , the pieces of my heart would be only able to miss you . I don't know what i want , i never felt this way before . Everything that i gonna go / do , reminds me of you . Again , i need someone new . Someone who gonna love me more than you & i seriously do . I'll be here waiting for my turn to hum the tune of " Thank god i found you " .

I don't know what i want .

What a friday !
Went to school with a very bad mood because i was really tired .
Same again , slept in class .
Durhs , heard that a sec one xiaomeimei bu shuang judy .
Wasn't really bothered with it until i heard i was included inside .
Blahs ! I haven't been to school for so long & i was wondering why .
Went to find out who was she .
Boos , i'm already short enough & she's even shorter than me .
Worst , she looked so innocent . Only that her eyes couldn't get off me .
She kept starring @ me . Durhs .
Went to find her during PE lessons with my classmates .
Then she said she didn't even say anything about us .
She didn't even know who were we . Goshed .
I didn't know what to asked her because she was really young .
& i'm really not interested so i left judy talking to her .
In the end , say what meet outside school after school .
So after that , we waited for her outside school .
I'm so not interested , so again , judy talked to her .
I wanted to know why am i included , awww , so sad .
But i also very pei fu her lahs , she came alone , lols .
So she don't know call her who , what kang jun de .
Then he ask me to come down cresent to settle .
I was laughing my ass out . Hahahahas !
So we talked talked talked , then i decided not to give a damn about it .
LOLS ! so bo liao lahs ! in the end , we all went home ! wheees .
Went to have lunch with daddy then went home .
When i reached home , it was only 2 plus so i decided to rest first .
HOW I KNOW AFTER I LIE ON BED , I SLEPT ALL THE WAY TIL 7 PLUS .
I panic the hell out of me , called kristine becas i was suppose to meet her !
So i prepare as fast as i could , rushed down .
Quarreled with daddy somehow . BOOS !
Reached there & i saw bf right away :D , then went looking for kristine .
Saw xiao hubby & others . =x .
& guess who call me , COUSIN !
I finally saw her ! So happy cans ! :D .
Then play around lo .
After that got girls prob again , but it has got nothing to do with me . :D
So after that i went home then slept around 1 plus .

This morning 1oam , JASMINE SIEW called me because she wanted to come .
DAMN IT . ytd call her whole day , she sleeping .
Today i sleeping , she wake me up .
LOLS . then i'm going to prepare soon , then meet CHOCOLATE NG .
Then go aloy's chalet . HAPPY BIRHTDAY COUSELLOR ! loves !
if i can get out of house tmr , should be going singing with jiao jiao & others .
Muahahahahas ! i very long never go singing le !!
I'm losing my vocals ~~ NO ! ~~~ ewww .

i shall update more later or soon , i'm lazy to type . blahs , miss me =) .

Lost without you .

I know you miss keith ,
because i miss mine too .
& i know you're feeling guilty to eugene .
I don't know how to be there for you ,
because i'm having problems myself .
Baby , at least you have someone to pour out your sorrows to ,
i have no one in mind , no one with me .
Who knows me well .
Its always like that , whenever u give your best ,
you get nothing back . But when you don't ,
someone will be so true to you .
We've both been crying silently for hours ,
but there's nothing we could do .
I messaged him craps and rubbish ,
i don't know what i'm talking .
I'm confuse , i know i need him .
Probably , i'm doing too much this time round .
He says he gives me this last chance ,
he says he's putting his trust in me for the last time ,
& i'm promising myself to settle these things within two weeks or so .
I can't afford to lose him again .
Baby , i'm really tired too , but no matter what ,
we've gotta be strong and continue walking on .
If not , nothing's gonna be done .
We've to give our best .
Have confidence in yourself , make him love you once more .
I'm sure you can do it , try ur best .
Don't give up unless he tells you its already impossible .
At times , you've to sacrifice your pride for love .

There's no more 3 of us now .
We're left with two .
Its time we find our way back to our own love and start being independent again .
We can't remain like this .
You know what i mean .
Please , don't cut your wrist because its worthless .
Bloody worthless for a alien . Don't regret like what i did .
Now that scar which is on my wrist can never be erased or healed .
Don't be silly , rmb this .
What i did and regret , i wanna try to warn people around me .
Don't regret after doing things you think its worth for that second .
Now that 7 stitches i've been through stays for life .
Pls , don't be silly .
Its really worthless swollowing a pack of panadols and cutting urself .
I should be happy i'm still alive now after swollowing a pack of panadols .
Not everyone's so strong , i have friends who swollow 6 panadols ,
and end themselves up in hospitals .
Baby , rmb this , you still have people who cares .
If you can't have him back , its fated .
You've many more waiting for you out in the woods .
Be strong , you still have us =) . I love you and rmb .
Thanks for trying to be there when i was so down just now .
Don't blame urself just because you can't think of anything to console me .
It isn't your fault and i don't blame you .
I'm use to being independent for these things .
At times , i just need someone to hear me cry .
Look at me now , i've settled one thing ,
i've got one more chance to strive for .
Its your turn , sister . Don't rely on darryn too much .
He's not gonna be with you forever !

Baby come back , i should have never set you free .

BBi : Hahahahas . i've just crossed fifteen in may =) .

LIMJINGHAN : =) . alrights sweeties , thanks for reading such a long post and thanks for tagging . loves .

YINQ : Thanks =) .

HUIPING : Alrights sweetie =) . Thanks .

SHAOWEI : But i got no idea of you talking to me lurhs , nvm , we shall meet up soon baobei . :D , loves .

♥ PEARL : alrights sweetheart , and i'll stay and never go too . Smoochies .

JOYCE : Hahahahas ! There's actually two more , & i'll upload them soon ! Enjoy it alrights ! loves !

XIAOLINQ : Alrights ! Ask me for a pic soon lahs ! My phone can't take pictures now lahs ! Hahahahas ! Misses .

GIRLFRIEND : I'm fine girlfriend ! :D , how about you ?! Remember to take good care of yourself alrights . smiles .

CHEER`UP:) : I'm still waiting patiently and i agree to what you say , i'm sure someone true will appear soon =) . Thanks anw .

HONGLING : Yes i know darling ! See you soon @ aloy's chalet . Loves .

RACHEL : Yup ! :D .

PASSERBY : Thanks sweetie ! I WILL !

JUDY : Hey silly , i've always trust you & i know you'll be here for me when something crops up .

JUNRU : Aiya , take it easy . I've got no one to go crazy over for , my heart's filled with someone . =x . Let time decide everything then . Wheees , sisters wansui wansui !

BOOSBOOS : Hahaahahas ! But great ones are difficult to find ! We must have the patience to wait for`em . :D .

RENATA' : Hahahas , alrights . gonna HIT you back soon . :D .

KRISTINE'' : I'm trying to update oftenly already ! But i can't put my pics up ! Blahs ! Don't know why ! Booos ! Nvm , love you too :D .

MUSHROOM : Blahs mushroom ! Blahbooms ! Gonna bomb you ! Muahahahas !

In my heart i still believe , we were meant to be . Baby , come back & i'll never let you leave again . I swear for whatever i'm doing now , ain't what my heart is thinking . Boy , its you i need .

When the sun shines , we'll shine together . Told you i'll be here forever .

School was tiring ytd , becas i slept at 5am before i woke up at 7 . Went to school and slept for the whole day there . Recess was boring , i gonna be alone if i hadn't saw sis . Stupid cans . Having the same class and judy and lydia but different recess . This makes me alone during my recess becas between the 3 of us , i'm the only one taking art . Blahs . so fcuked up , i'm not going to school anymore unless we're having the same recess . Boos ! So after school , had problem deciding where to go , so we decided to go to tiong bahru for lunch first . Went griller and the manager there was so cute cans . He entertained us ! LOLS ! After that took a bus back to school to take back our things becas we were late in the morning . Yawns . Waited for dad at the opposite shop and he fetched us to bishan . Xin went to meet her bf and leaving me and jas alone . So we went on seperate ways , we didn't want to be light bulbs . @ first we thought after she meet her bf , we were cominq back to my house tgt but in the end , she said she wasn't cominq back with us . I should have said yes when sis asked me to go toa payoh to find denny and my brother . Blahs , i THOUGHT she was cominq with us u see , thats why i didn't want to leave bishan , if not its going to be so ma fan . In the end , the both of us walked bishan times and times again , had nothing to do , no cash , phone gonna low batt soon . Worst , i only had 5 bucks with me and she had 2 bucks . So we both went munching abit then called her . So since xin say her bf is fetching her home and not cominq home with us , so we went back ourselves . The both of us was wondering " so why did the both of us come down bishan for ? LOLS ! becas in the end , her bf is fetching her home and she also don want to tell us where is she " lols , nvm , so the both of us took a mrt , went to tiong & my dad came to fetch us for dinner . Ate and then sis came to my house . Around 1o plus , i fell asleep unknowingly . Blahs , so i think sis went home around 1o plus or 11 plus . Around 1 plus , my stomach felt pain , goshed , but i didn't care about it . But the more i didn't care about it , the more i couldn't get to sleep . Goshed . So woke up at 2 and woke up my dad then i went to the toilet to puke . EEEEE ! Its been decades since i last puke and it feels so uncomfortable . Went back to sleep finally and i just woke up , currently 5.41pm . LOLS ! no lahs , actually i woke up around 4 plus . So since xin is not meeting us and meeting her BF again , so sis decided to come back home to accompany me . Yawns . Vionna is sick & no one is here . She's depressed enough and u people make her feel worst . So i'm waiting for sis to come , waiting for dad to buy dinner / lunch then i'm going down to see the doc ! YEAHS ! none of us went to sch today , i mean the 3 of us , we did not even plan , lols , just that the three of us didn't went school today and i don't think me & sis going tmr too ! Muahahahas , i hope CHOY CHOY will puke blood after she sees our attendance ! :D .

I can't upload any pictures up , i don't know why . Maybe there's something wrong with my blogger again . Durhs , better than nothing . At least i can still update . hehehes . Whatver .

Why wouldn't you stop me when i was waiting for you to do so . The past , & i didn't mean it when i said i didn't love you so . I was foolish & stupid . I tried my best to continue our story , but you just wouldn't let me to . You've made me wrote a Ending for our story & i don't feel good doing that . I've realise i'm in the wrong , why wouldn't you just forgive me . & when i wrote you that testi , do you know i just couldn't stop those tears from flowing . & do you know , when i told you that i've decided to start anew with someone new , do you know how much it hurts . becas i just don't know if i could find someone better than you . When u told me you wouldn't stop me from leaving , i felt hell and pain . Who would prove to me that he's better than you ? Who's going to love me as much as you use to ? I was so damn disappointed when i saw the both love bites @ ur neck , you didn't even dare say a thing . I didn't know why i felt so angry and disappointed , and when i hit my hand on the glass and kick it , i didn't felt pain . My friends were @ shock but u didn't know a thing . You can still laugh and talk and club with ur friends , you didn't even give a damn how i was feeling and wad i was doing . The world has its darkest part of it , and you've now brought me there , leaving me in pain . No one's gonna prove the love you've once did ever again . I'm not gonna run into ur arms when i see you again , i'm not gonna show how proud i am to my friends about having you ever again becas i won't have the chance to do so , i'm not gonna talk about you , & will i be able to do so . I miss you , don't i ?

Erase the memories away . Erase the love we once had . Now i'm nothing to you & not ever . But the memories we once shared , no ones gonna know anything about it . Its all our secret and love . I'll still be here , for you . You can continue to have a fling with your girls & i'll fling with my boys . I can never control you , i don't have the priority to do so anymore .

BAD MOOD ! *cries* I'm having moody days ! Fcuked ! Sobs , moody days . Fcuked up people . damn , sobs . I need a crying shoulder , i need someone badly . Sobs ! Don't act like you understand me because i'll probably hate you like fcuked !

Friends ? They come and go . And they only go when u start leaving trust in`em . They tend to fly off when everyone of us gets older . I have tons and dozens of friends who always say " aww , don be sad , i'll always be here for you " but when things happen , none would be here . Its either they don't know how to , or either they don't know anything . How do you prove to someone you care about them ? Do you people even know how to ? I have some friends who even do this , when they need you , they'll stick with you , and when its time for them to have their own fun , you won't see a single them with you . I even have friends who says " aiya , they don accompany you , i accompany you lors " in the end , where are they ? Either they don even message u for the whole day , or either they're gone with the others . Pls don say things that u people can't do . For these years , i've seen friends come and go , i've even see friends betraying one another behind their backs , not afraid to say , i'm also one of them . Don't tell me no one did this before . Its all the past . Whats with the " oh , i'll treasure you , oh , i love you forever " whats wrong ? Everyone says this , yes i love you , but when things happen , everybody runs . Sometimes , its really easy to see whose true and who isn't . I also have some friends , that i love them so much yet in the end , no one's here . While those who i've just known , stayed by me . WTH . Who dosen't have friends ? Everyone has . Don say u don't have . Whenever i have a friend bbq or chalet , i would walk alone and look at the scenery and think about the past of mine , durhs , there's so much memories . & mostly , its all about friends . When fun comes for them , they don't even give a damn about how u feel , they will just go . And when u talked to them about that , they will start to say " aiya , arbo u wan me pei u mehs ? ehs , u cannot go out dosen't means we cant lehs . " / " aiya , the end i also got come pei u ma , arbo u wan me to see them play then also don go mehs , you ownself cannot don selfish lehs " goshed , wth ! Have you ever wondered how will you feel if your own so called friends tell u this , the worst thing is , what if the close one tells you so . Sometimes , things get so complicated that it made me wanna give up everything . Just stay at home at rot , looking at the computer . The truth is , frens really do change . I admit i changed too , and there's so many things around me changing . And people , there's no one to call your best friend . Becas when it comes to some things they wanna do and u can't , no one will be here . My dad use to tell me this , but i don't believe , and now , i lead myself into trouble . Yes , you might call him/her ur best fren , ur close one , the one u can share everything with , but durhs , sometimes , u gotta still be independent and not lean on them for everything . Some people envy me for having so many friends around singapore , and i'm not afraid to say this too . I was once someone who envy others who have tons and dozens of friends , but then , its useless . You bring urself more troubles and heart breaks . Remain innocent and low profile if you're still one . Don't go around friendster adding friends and say " WA , i got alot of accounts and alot of friends " . This is worst . I was once trying to get so many friends tat i made people around me dislike me . If you're fated to have alot alot of friends , then u will . They will come as time passes . They will be here . But if u ain't fated to have ALOT of friends , pls don go around making people hate you . Remain like this . I've been through things that many people who're at my age hadn't . I've been through heart breaks and jealousy . More than any other people at my age had . And its worthless , i tell u . Its bloody worthless breaking ur own heart just becas of these memories . . .

I'm having bloddy bad mood nowadays and i don't know the reason . Feeling so fcuked up just becas of small things yet i can't show my temper out . Other wise , hell loads of things is going to happen . Well , but at least , while i'm having my bad mood , i have two happy things to make me happy . One's a secret told by denise and vanese babies . =) .

Its been so long since i last have some probs with others . Damn it , ytd i had one . I was so damn fcuked up by my dad and then came this prob . I was heading to town and i'm late enuf already , yet he still asked me to see the doctor just to get a MC for ytd , damn it . And he blames me for everything . Goshed . I have feelings , mind you , pls think . If you have moody days , its dosen't means you have to put them all on me . You make me feel that im so worthless and nothing to you . So , once i get out of the car , i walked like a chao ah lian to the clinic while xin and jas was behind me . Walked past this girl called manting [ i heard damn loads of her jiaowei before ] & clarice plus dunno who , damn , i didn't even look at her , then she turn her head and kpkp . Say what i diao her and wad shit . Of cas i don't give a damn about her , excuse me , i was rushing time . Then she came in to the clinic becas some of her friends that was my friends to were in the clinic , then she started kpkp-ing . DOTS !! what shi dai le ! stil use this kind of kuku way to find prob . LOLS ! Becas one of the guy there was lydia's bf , so when i went in to the doc room , i call lydia and say , " ehs , got prob , blah blah blahs " then she called XZ . Right after i went in , the doctor asked me some stupid quest .i never tell him whether i was sick or wad , i just say i never go sch , i need MC . lols . then i told him , did you just open a zoo ? becas outside ur room , there's a bunch of animals trying to be funny . LOLS ! so he said " ya lors ya lors " . Then when i went out , these people look at me as if im a criminal or wad . LOLS . then when i went in to the car , called XZ right away and complain . Then he say he knows , so he went down with dunno who , find them back ! LOLS ! then she also LL . goshed . Heard jas say tat when i was in the room , she say wad , " eeee . she wear same shorts as me , i want take out liao " so i was like thinking , aiya , she dare she take out lahs , since she was the only girl among her friends . and then she shouted wad " lim bei si pai kia " damn , joke of the day . I'm going to repeat this everyday and laugh the hell out of myself . LOLS ! people , look at the time now , why are there still people finding people thing ? For now , what's paikia ? ask urself . Even the naughtiest one is studying already , all these small ones , what are they ? Even if ur parents are PAIKIAS , so ? one call to the police and wad are u ? Squating inside girls home ? Ruining ur own future ? LOLS , pls lahs , u can find me for all u want , try me =) . U can also bash me up for all u want , but leave now ur name , and lets see what will happen =) . Don't go wear a mask lehs , you'll probably spoil ur own reputation =) . Silly girl , i've heard many of ur things , u can try so many people , but why don't i see you finding people from else where and only finding ur own friends ? What's wrong with you ? Don't be lame ok , i'm not free to entertain u . And you don't have to tell XZ nonsense , becas he knows me well , i won't no reason go look at you . Like wad i told clarice " My eyes are use for seeing nice things , and not people like you " they will make me blind .

Goshed , i'm leaving house soon . I'm off to prepare already , and its not tat don't have pics . Its tat i can't upload it up , i don't know why . So sorry =) . Going town then off to dxo , maybe . Stand around dxo to find friends and not go in becas i cant ! Hahahahahahas ! my daddy don't let lahs , sians . Nvm , tolerate til end of this year . Its holidays again ! Wheeees . :D . Take care peeps . I'll update soon again . Loves loves .

I'm having a bad mood nowadays , especially ytd and today . goshed .
i shall update soon when i come back .
going out soon .
XIN HUI , contact me asap . Loves .

Find someone sweet & romantic .

I got this from Jason's friendster profile . LOLS . Its himself in this video , don't you think its so funny and cute ? Hahahahas . I was laughing non - stop lahs . Anw , this video isn't taken by me and i'm also not there , i was just looking around at all the bullentin board things and he said go to his profile to look at his funny video so i went to take a look at it then i decided to share it with you all . Hees , cute rights ? :D , you have no choice but to say of cas becas he's my friend =)

Alrights , about today . Yawns , i had no mood to go to school but becas u had a motive going on , so i went . LOLS . Becas if i go to school , kenny's fetching me from school . Wheees . So tired cans , i slept the whole day other than staying awake during chemistry becas its KRISHNAN ! Blahs , then recess and everything jiu after school le . So shuang cans , i thot i would see kenny outside school but durhs , i still have to wait for him becas he dosen't knows how to come and must find his way slowly . Blahs , my stupid jiao bin :D . Then before i went out of sch , i pei-ed xin to find teacher then came out to wait for tat da shao ye , so long lurhs . Oinks . then again , we slack slack slack , xin came out :D . We was suppose to drop at tiong for lunch lahs , how i know my dad say go home to wait for the guy come do my house phone and laptop first , so i came home , and then around 7 plus , i went out again :D . went to tiong only lahs , don think so much , lols , went to eat then went home . Guess what ? Whenever i need a taxi urgently , none come . Fcuked it . Reached home , started watching tv and using com again . Wheees , curretnly rotting bored . Blahs .

Everybody's falling in love . & at times , they fall out of love . How does it feels ? But sisters , sisters are always sisters and i'll always be here to care and share your problems .=)

REPLIES TO TAGS ! :D .

ISN'T THIS CUTE ?! LOLS ! Jerrold say is link to the show TRANSFORMERS ! hahahahas !

BOOS BOOS : zouk oh ? i don't know how to say ehs , hahahas , near great world =) .

XUAN XUAN : Thanks ! :D .

ANN : =) . Alot of people ask me to take it out , but i bu she de . Hahahahaas !

...... : Hahahahas , nvm ~ Yes ! I'm fat . LOLS .

- : No , i don think i know her . Hahahahas , why ?

ME:) : Thank you sweets =) .

PAT : Blog le lahs . lols .

PASSERBY : hehehes , thanks .

HONGLING : I miss you too lahs ! luckily u came abit earlier that night so i manage to see you :D wheees .

QERALDINE : Hahahahs ! blog le , =) .

PASSERBY-- : Alrights ! Got it , thanks anw .

KENNY : OIE , si mi dumb face lahs , you this jiao bin . Blahs !

SY : Ya lahs , i fall sick last few days . Thought by ytd will be alrights , but NO ! I'm still sick ! I wanna see u guys soon , i'm really sorry for not going today alrights ! Ewwww .

SOFIA :D : alrights baby ! i will ! and you take care of yourself too :D .

GENYY : =) . Stupid lahs u ! Hahahahas ! I'm always so busy , no time to reply you , you so suey lurhs you . Hahahahas !

You've got me waiting for your calls and messages .

HI PEOPLE ! =) . Goshed , been decades since i last blogged myself . For the past few blogs , i will like type on WORDPAD and then send it to xin hui to update . Hahahahas . Currently like using my dad's laptop and i've finally off my com . Usually you people will see me online for 24 hours because i wouldn't want to off my com . And now i've off my com , using my dad's laptop . So you guys won't see me online 24 hours anymore . :D . And yahs , i've reasons why i off my com and everything .. I'll talk about this later . So yup , i shall not blog much about other days because ehs , probably u people wil read till siao , arbo tio si i type till ki siao . Hahahahas ! Anw , alot of things happen , many ups and downs but NO WORRIES ! VIONNA CHAN IS STILL TRYING TO BE STRONG ! :D . i hope i can still take it , take everything that is going on and happening . Wheeees .

Alrights . So , i've been busy this few days & weeks . Going to friend's bbq , chalets , birthday parties . And trying to meet many people up that i've promised them for decades . Busy entertaining my friends and also , school's started ! Goshed ! Do you people know that last week , i only went to school for ONE DAY ! :D . sorry lahs , i'm too tired . Hahahahas ! And durhs , i'm not sure abo0ut this week . Hahahahas ! So yahs , i really got nothing to say about what i've been doing ehs , cas i don't think you guys will be interested in knowing bahs ! Hahahahas ! Well , with my dad's laptop now , i'm sure i'll be able to update oftenly , SO COME MORE OFTEN THEN :D .

BTW , if i suddenly go MIA again or whatever , and u guys wanna know more . probably you can go to this blog . http://www.thyunique-x.blogspot.com/ .

Because most of the time , i'll always be with my girl , unless somebody take her away or whatver . So yup , you'll like see my name most of the time in her blog . Hahahahas ! And some pics as well . And guys , I'm asking you to go to her blog if you wanna know more about whats happening to my days , AND IS IF ! NOT GO TO HER BLOG AND SPAM OK ! pls damn remember it . =) .

Some things been changing so fast . So fast that i couldn't catch up with it . People around me for example , they're changing and indeed i am too . I now realise how pain isit to lose a friend so close . I now realise so many things that i hadn't the last time . I once fall off the cliff , that very high cliff but then i brought back myself . Then i learnt to treasure someone who loves me , or someone i loved deeply . But because things changes that fast that now , i've lost my ability to love and treasure someone again . I'm falling off that high cliff one more time . But at least , now i know , there's no one who can bring me back and only myself . I don't know what's bothering me , its seems like everything around me is trying to pull me down . I'm trying to hang onto it , i don't know what's wrong with me . I can be crazy at times , I can act like i'm alright , I can act like there's nothing wrong , but who knows ? Because even the closest one with me dosen't , how will others be able to understand what i'm going through ? I'm trying to keep everything together , but when i'm trying to do so , i'm falling apart myself . No songs , no words can prove how much i hurt inside , not even half of what i'm feeling . I'm trying my best to put back things like how it use to be , but its useless , everyone's still changing . Let us see how things go , i'm sure as time passes , i can be back on my feet once more time . =) . No worries people , i wouldn't do silly things like in the past anymore . Loves .

And yahs , the reason i off my com finally becas my lovely computer holds too much of my memories . I've been using my com since pri 6 ? And i've only reformat it around 3 times ? Currently , its holding too much of my memories . Even some memories that i've long forgotten about them . I shall let them rest for the time being and start anew by using my dad's com . And when i find the time is right for me to on it again , i will =) .

I leave a message as a vioce mail , telling you i missed you .

Tell me what's the issue , who'd should i give these lips to .

You're showing me no sign , there's nothing more i could do .

Now here i am , trying to blow you up , and my girlfriends kept telling me i'm doing too much .

All i can pictured is the colours of your eyes .

All i can remember is the times we've spent .

Baby , am i doing too much ?

You've got me here waiting for your calls and messages .

You've got me here waiting for you hugs and kisses .

Bring me someone new ,

don't make me stick to you because i don't think you worth a thing .

I need someone new , someone who gonna loves me more than you do .

Someone i can love more than i love you . Bring me someone new , baby .