Sobbing real bad .

I take my hat off you .
My hands on your shoulder , saying " thanks for ytd "
Claps hands .
You didn't bother to tell me anything , anything at all .
Whenever i asked , you said you don't know everything .
Now , after ytd , i gave up , and all i can say is ,
i wish you well . You can go with whoever you want , i wash my hands off you .
No matter how much tears i gonna cry , no matter how much i'm gonna hurt ,
i'll never call you again .
I'm pushing you to someone else . Someone who said she won't bare to be with you .
Whatever i'm telling her , its whatever i can't do , no , i can , but i've never done .
Now i've lost the chance , she's the one who could take good care of you .
Every word i type to her , every tear lies on me . Every heart break sound i could here ,
you'll never feel what i feel .
She said you could never forget me , she said you haven't and you won't .
Yes you will isn't it ? Rmb michelle ? Rmb after me making that decision of loving you ?
You totally cut of your contacts with your girls around you and there's only me ?
Rmb the time i given you to forget her ?
Its a turn now , its her turn to make you forget me , baby .
The last time i call you baby , will be the last time you see me honey .
Even if i can't bare to let go , even if i can't bare to see you go ,
there's nothing more i could do .
In other people's eyes , i'm the one in wrong , i'm always the one in wrong .
I'm the 3rd party as what people says now .
You can hug me at one moment , and hug the other one at the other side .
I really take my hats off you . I totally went blurred after ytd .
The thing that happen didn't hurt at all , no , i'm not lying , it didn't hurt at all .
The pain they gave weren't as much as you gave .
The pain i felt won't as much as the previous times i had .
4 to 1 ? isn't it a very funny thing to say right now ?
I've nothing to say about anymore .
In other's mind , i'm a very spoilt child , i've never been like this before .
i've never believed what people always say " the hurt in your heart could numb everything "
Ytd , after listening to what they say , i really turned numb .
i really turned so numb that every hit was nothing , nothing at all .
When i ran and cried , all i think about was you , where were you ?
Happily celebrating your friend's birthday ?
I'm tired of competeting with the girls around you ,
i'm tired of listening " oh no , they're just friends . "
Friends ? *shakes head*
Its not like i'm proud or what , but honey ,
no one , no one has ever touched your heart like i do .
& after 10 months of ups and downs , finally there's someone who do .
She made you fall for her . *clap hands*
I believed what happen ytd wasn't because of dickson .
Blame me for not letting you go . Blame you for not telling me anything .
Thanks for the memories , they were great , they were nice .
You've made me realise the feeling of being loved .
The feeling of what love can do to a person .
Ytd was a disaster . Ytd was a wakening day .
That slap totally woke me up , although i'm stil in a confuse now .
I'll never be able to hold you hands again , you'll never give me the chance to .
I'll never be able to be in your arms again , never be able to feel your kisses once more .
This time , this day , first time i'm speechless .
I have no choice isn't it baby ? I have to let go .
Dickson said " follow your heart , you won't be wrong "
Yes , i will follow if you let me to , but are you sure i'm able to love someone who could stand there and watched every bit of thing that happen ?
Will i be wrong ? is this for others to say ?
I always thought disappointing you for each time , you'll always forgive and come back .
Yes , you forgived , but in the other way , you walked away from me too .
You walked away from my life that always have to be a you .
Now there's no more you , what can i do ?
Been 4 years of love , in and out , up and down , i've never had a phobia of love .
Only until i've met you , this is what you made me feel .
I'm afraid to love again , afraid to get out of my room door . Afraid to everywhere i go .
I was a foolish victim , you've got me sucidal .
I couldn't get to sleep ytd , i was tossing and turning , again and again .
I doze off and i would wake up from nightmares .
I close my eyes every now and then , and what i see is only you and the memories of us .
What i see , is the questions in my mind popping up ,
why didn't you tell me anything . why did i became a bitch now in others eyes ?
Why isit so you're gone .
there's ain't no answers for this , you admitted you love her ,
i'm speechless baby , i am .
I can't be like jes , i can't kneel outside your house to beg for you to come back .
I can't go around with you . because if i do , i guess my brother would kill me .
I'll never have the chance to look in your beautiful eyes anymore ,
all i can do , is baby , i wish you all the best .
i will be still here whenever you need me , come to me if you are now and you need someone to talk to . I'll have your ears , i'll listen .
I'll never want to fall in love again . Don't tell me to take care of myeslf ,
don't tell me to find others . Stop acting brave .
i'll hide in my room , in a corner , i'll think through everything ,
but baby , rmb this , i cried for you , not for what happen , not for them .
I know i should have never set you free , its all me , all my fault ... * smiles





Thanks sister , juensu , calvin and ice (:
thanks for those who cared , i'm ok , i'm alright .
Rmb in all of your eyes , i'm a strong girl isn't it ? (:
I know the 3 guys saw me sob so bad so bad for the first time ,
thanks for caring , i'm really ok (: .
If you ever see me cry in front of you again ,
just leave me alone . Give me time , i'll be okay .
I love you guys so much so much , never leave me anymore .