i miss you.
这么多天没见
可是我总想起你的声音在我耳边
今天心情好吗
是否不愉快
要一切都看得开
世界没有太坏
虽然不在你身边
我的心有一条线
连着你
牵着你
好想你想到愿意相信
我就闭上了眼睛
你在这里
别忘记我们的约定
一直都在我心里
不管你在哪里
不要忘了我有多么爱你

不要忘了吃饭不管有多忙
不要忘了开车时候一定要往前看
其实我真的很快乐
有你一直守侯
一直走到了以后都挽着你的手
虽然不在你身边
但我在你心里面
我愿意等着你
我好想你想到不能呼吸
想到全身没力气没有关系
你别忘记我们的约定
一直都在我心里
不管你在哪里
不要忘了我有多么爱你
我一直在这里
别忘了我有多么爱你.

Merry X'mas Everybody! :D!
Alrights,though darryn:),xinhui & kc bro isn't here to celebrate it with me,
but i've gotta admit this is the best christmas that happen to me(:
Its been so long since i receive presents on Christmas day!
& the traditional thing to do here is that we wake up early and put the presents all on the hall table.
Like if these presents are mine,put it here,and the presents for another person are left on another side :D.
Then when we are ready,we have to open the presents right in front of everybody:D
Unlike singapore,we have to bring back the presents first,or else if we open it in front of everybody,its no respect-.-
Because its my first year celebrating here,i didn't got any presents for them.=x
Instead,i'm the one receiving:DWheeeees.
Let me tell you what made me so happy(:
Okays,i was the one who woke up the latest,hehes,because i find no reason to wake up early=x.
Then my family started saying,"go,go open all the presents!".
So i went to brush my teeth and change my shirt to darryn's shirt=x.hehes.
Then i went to sit on the sofa to look at my presents.lalalalas.
Look look,important part coming:D
At first,i was only concentrating on the wrap-up presents that were on the sofa.
Then i realise something was like in front of me,blocking me.
When i took a look at it,it was a Guitar...
I never thought it was for ME!
Till i look at the envelope that was paste in front,that wrote,Vionna.
And wheees!Its for me for me!:D
It came with everything,a box wrap up and inside was all the ehs,whats that call,i forgot.Whatever lahs!Just that,everything comes with the guitar!
Even books and CDs that had to do with the guitar.lalas,jealoused?!
And then other presents was a bag,that i can put my laptop in it:D,
and another one,a perfume & a body lotion that has a very nice smell.
Its like,you don't have to put perfume anymore if you just put that body lotion:D
Wheeeees~~how nice is this.
Though i don't know whether the guitar is branded or not,but who cares,
its beautiful,its shiny,its nice,its WONDERFUL. :D
Its the thought that counts,this is all it matters(: whees,its enough.

Alright,stop the presents thing.Anyway,its christmas today,and neither i'm going anywhere):
So sad,but the thought of the present just satisfy me.lalas.
And one more week,one more week i'm going back!
Quick quick,i miss darryn,i miss daddy,i miss xinhui,i miss kc! :D
So yea,i had my lunch,i'm gonna watch a show on com now while waiting for darryn to get online.Hehhheh.
OK!Bye readers(:

P.S : I don't mind to receive more presents =x .

Ok,nothing to blog recently.(:
Just that i bought many many chocolates and sweet.
wheees.Currently listening to the song,Miss You Like Crazy,by The Moffats.
Very long ago song i guess.Just went to check up some of their songs,
they came up with this song themselves,long long ago.
When they were still very very young,around my age,i guess.Hahahas.
Really nice song,go check it up(:
There're more songs,like the,Misery & Always In My Heart!
Hahahahas!Nice.(:
Alrights,been shopping and coming back home early.Nothing more):


Came by the song,Laopo,just now.
Loads of memories.And where had all the promises gone to?
The way we all changed,these memories....(: forget it.


emotional moment,
i miss you like crazy.
when could i see you again.
i just miss everything,everything about you,silly.

Went to abit of shopping ytd(:
& get to webcam with darryn:Dbut i can't see him,
only he can see me):
And they're selling lots of lots of CHOCOLATES here!wheees,
anyone,want some ?!:D
i'll buy back for you guys!hahahahas!
Will be celebrating my christmas and my mum's birthday here(:
So now,using the com for awhile,and then we're going to shopping AGAIN:D
Guess will be shopping like everyday?!hehheh,and so you guys want anything ?!
I'm kind what!:D
Ytd my mum and my auntie was like talking,and then they was saying that my sister use to study here for a few months.
And then was like asking me if i like this place ? What if they plan to let me study here a few months too?): Then how am i gonna see darryn?
Anyway,two weeks decide for now ...


你始终没有爱过,你在敷衍我.
一次一次忽略我的感受,我真的感到力不从心,无力继续.
这感情不值得我犹豫,不值得我考虑,不值得我爱过你.
这种回忆不值得我提起,不值得想起,不值得哭泣.
这段感情早就应该放弃,早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹.
这样的你不值得我恨你,不值得我为你而坏了心情.
我决定不为你而毁了心,放弃爱你. (: J .


emotional moment,
all because of you.
after two years,its still meant to be.

So,here to do a little update.Currently already at Sydney(: .
Don't pause and think why i have com to use here,
because i have family living here.So yea,using my uncle's com(:
Current time here is 2.35am,which is faster than Singapore for 3 hours.
Singapore's current time is like only ehs,11.35pm?Hahas.
& i'm tired,but i miss darryn:),alot.
Like praying for him to get online real soon.
But then he can only be online around 4 plus,means here around 7 plus):.
Think i get to sleep first,maybe.Cas i've nothing to do here-.-
Blahs,i've nothing to update.Cause i reached here in the night,
and came to the house right away.
Lets see how tmr(: i'll try to update everyday but no pictures(:
Only till i'm back in Singapore then pics will be updated:D



emotional moment,
missing you so much,tell me what to do.
): i feel like a little kid,so in need of someone.
yes,i teared,yes,i did.

before i went hongkong(: had work with jabez & people(;

my pretty girl(:

before i cut my hair):i had a few pics of them first.

So yes,i did my trip to hongkong on the 14th,and i came home,the bloody com of mine can't be on.I had no phone,because my phone was with xinhui(:.so only now on the 21st,i got back my phone,and manage to on my com(:Blogging now at the time on 5:34am while behind me,david,darryn:),edmund,kc & xinhui,playing mahjong.Getting kinda of tired already,but i still have a flight to sydney at 9.30.Gotta leave house at 7.30am):I just can't bare to leave singapore again.& this time,i will be back only on the 1st of Jan 2008.-.-

Anyway,talking about hongkong,it wasn't as nice as taiwan.bored.The pictures there taken was over 400 of them,so wondering how am i gonna post them up.hahas!Went to disneyland,wasn't as fun as i thought.Only that i saw many cute characters:DNothing to shop,just that i got many shoes thats all=x.hehes.didn't get much presents back either.The things were so orh-piang,or i should say,all the same.Nearly every shop i walk into,had the same things.Just that some prices are different.Nothing much to talk about,i shall let the pictures i update the next time do the talking(:

Alrights,nothing to blog anyway.Shall go entertain them awhile more & i shall go prepare for my early flight(:And as for the renovation of my room,i think i should get to see it when i come back from sydney:Dwhees,so excited.(:Tag me,and i'll reply asap when i get a chance to use the com.Loves.

There are just some things,i can't be bothered to say anymore.
People do get tired of empty promises and disappointments,

then i'll let it be this time.

I gonna miss you,i hope you would miss me too.
But don't work too hard,you need your rest time too.(:
Enjoy this last two weeks of your holidays here,take care,bestfriend!

To you who called me a friend,

now,not only i get sick of you.
Everyone you called bestfriend is getting sick of you too.

You might not realise,but i know what i heard(:

For you,too many times of nagging & telling you dosen't works,so now,forget it.

Since you don't even know how to learn over your mistakes,
& don't even know how to repay people for what they did good to you,

i don't think there's anymore i could do for you.

The people you always tell me about,are actually now turning their back on you.
& again like what i say,i don't have to specific the person i'm talking about(:,

its just that if you're guilty reading this,then you are the person.
Don't have to act like you're not guilty or its not you when actually,

you're feeling the right thing deep down inside(:

emotional moment,

among all people i've mentioned,

last but not least,i hope you know,that you're the one i gonna miss the most.

like same,take good care of yourself,i don't wanna come back here,

and hear you coughing like the way you are now.

The sad thing is,i'm not using my laptop anymore,its full of virus.):
No picutres for you people.
I'm sorry that i didn't blog for such a long time(:

2007's ending soon and i've only realise now,
that i'm left with 10 days here.
For the nex 3 weeks,i guess i'll be blogging no more.
I won't be in Singapore.Leaving for Hongkong & Australlia.
Though i'm looking forward to it,but it dosen't cheers me up.
I still get disappointment from people around me again,&,again.
Maybe i'm really not important,but i hope this time i leave,
it would be really a nice break.
I lost my K810i.Bloody fuck.& this time,my dad didn't even bother to talk to me.
Then my mum got me a k630i.
So no more doting on me from my dad,instead,
he got darryn:) a Ice Silver Psp.& when my dad bought the Psp @ Simlim,
he got con by the people there,around teenagers age.-.-
How i wish i was there,so i could bloody knock their head off.
Fake wire which can be bought at a few dollars,he cost my father $20 to $3o.
__fuck off asshole.If i have the time,i wanna bring back the psp & everything
thats inside and throw it on your bloody fuck face.
Refund me back the bloody money,asshole.
Anw,there's nothing much to blog about.
My life's been such a nightmare.__
Well,gonna re-renovate my room(:with brown & white colours as main.

I've been looking at you as a stranger.
Not anymore the one i'm familiar with,the one i talked to about everything,
while you do the same.
You no longer do the things we plan and say,
no longer the one i knew.
Maybe i'm doing too much on you,but if you know,
i've been taking too much too.
Since the day he came,you're no longer the one you are,
to us,you could say speaking out about everything we ain't happy about is good.
But to him,i'll never see you do that.
Whatever advice and things we've told you is enough.
& always listening to my grumbling and nagging,they're tired too.
I'm tired too,i've been doing too much talking.
Elders were right,time could heal every wound,
but time could also make things change from bad to worse.From good to bad.
When we hadn't see each other for 8 days,and when i see you again,
though i was happy,but then what i feel isn't the same anymore.
You became a stranger to me,someone i was unfamiliar with,
though the things we do are the same as usual,but i don't see you anymore.
Ytd[monday],was the day i was looking forward to,
but everything turn out to be a disappointment,maybe more than that.
Well,nvm about that i guess?Cause if you realise,i'm leaving in 10 days time.
This time,it would be more than 8 days we wouldn't get to see each other.
I don't know how it would be,when i'm back.

To another "friend",
Its time for you to go think about what you should do about your life.
& more to do on your attitude & character.
& if you uncomfortable reading this,then yes,i'm talking about you.

Emotional moment.
you've changed me,i guess.

They keep taking snapshots of me): and all so fugly.lalas.

iloveyouX12846287:D

some random pictures i took from some people's profile(: beautiful isn't it?

these over-due pictures-.-still many more to come,i guess.

07/11/07 Wednesday.
Went fareast to find my love[shuana(:],jiaqian & jacqueline.Been so long since i saw shuana.I MISS YOU DARLING.then jiaqian & jacqueline were trying on their clothes while me & darling got to talk for awhile.After that we started walking straight,not knowing where to go,but we were towards the Cine road.Was talking to them about some things,then we decided to go cine hong kong's cafe for dinner.As a kuku,its my first time stepping into a hongkong cafe.I use to hate it,i don't know why.But when i looked at the menu,i started really loving that restaurant.The service was good,especially from the manager.We thought he was a Malay uncle,but he turned out to be speaking chinese,eng,malay to us.Not sure if he does know anymore other languages but he was really cute.:D.We took pictures of our food,and other pictures,all in my phone.But like what i said,my memory card couldn't fit into my card reader,too bad,no real latest pictures i could show you people.Anw,i ordered saltedfish&chicken fried rice,while shuana ordered something similiar like mine.Jiaqian had horfun & jacqueline,i'm not sure.Some black paper chicken & spagetti i guess=x.hahas.The servings was really big.Hahas!Well,go try hongkong cafe's food ok.Yum,thumbs up!Then after dinner,we went to the 9th floor for some show,and using the com.Its like a room,and it charges per hour,and for the DVD you rent and like how big the room you're taking.We actually wanted to get the 1 hour $4.50 room,but none was available,so we got the $10+ one.Watched haunted school,though i watch it before already,but it still does gives me the creep.Thanks to jiaqian(:,she just kept on screaming for the sake of screaming.lols.After everything,they took a cab home while dad fetches me back.& then we went to wait for Kc & darryn:) to finish their work at M.sultan.Then we all came back to cresent(:. Nice day spent with the 3 of them,really nice(:

08/11/07 Thursday.
Went to darryn's:) house for steamboat,yum,thumbs up again!Kc came to find me first,and then we took a cab down to his house.Edmund was actually coming with us,but he was still sleeping-.-His family wanted to celebrate his early birthday for him first,so we went.Wheees,and then we had HagenDaz' icecream cake.I really love the vanilla ice cream,but not the nuts inside-.-Blahs!I'm having good food nowadays,oh my my.hahas.Then after that they headed for work,while i came back home.Was deciding if i should go plush,because i didn't really had the mood to go.First,i had nothing to wear):,second,i was really tired,third,should be kept a secret(:So then,people started calling & calling again,made me F up.I'm already like not selling the tix for this event,but i don't know why,my phone just kept ranging.Then i was like being "forced" to go.So i went.Beausean & raza came up my house to wait for me first,and then we went to meet up with doreen.Took a cab with beausean to tiong,fetched jasmine,and then we went down.Met up darryn:) there and then i started seeing familair faces.Of cause,thanks kenneth[ adriano's biaoge],the idiot who thinks that i've fallen for him but its just a joke of cas.hahas!Thanks to kenneth,Me and jasmine got into the guest list:D& the rest got the cost price.Thanks to shanling sweet of cas(: she was the one selling the tix.Though the party didn't really got me happy like the previous party that time,but i'm really glad i went.I saw too much familiar faces that i've longed to see them.Jolene!Kewei!Shanling!Shuwen!Lanying!Liting!Ben!Xiaocalvin!Nana!Xiaobai!Eugene&his friends!Wanxuan!Angelina!Leongping!JJ!my beloved brother Chan zhixian!and my long long long sweetie,Xiaojason.some others i forgot,but i'm sure theres more,:D.Yea,went back around 1 plus with darryn:) & raza.Went to buy food & then came home for supper:D

09/11/07 Friday.
Daddy left for thailand,for work.Only coming back on the 12th,monday.& i'm already missing daddy):i miss you,come back soon): I stayed at home for the whole day.

10/11/07 Saturday.
Currently,at home.Fugging boreddddddddddddddddd!Staying at home for today too-.-Ohmygoddddd!):Daddy~~

Too much relying on you don't do me good.Daddy,that working day for me was a disaster,when i couldn't find you on phone.I had to rush home & cry,wondering where were you.Calling each and every relative to ask if you called.Then i knew how much you meant.I was lost for that moment,not knowing what to do.Now you're away to some other places,i miss you,tell me what to do.)':

All these pictures are weeks ago ones): My new memory card dosen't fit my card reader.Bloddy saddening.So many old pictures to upload but its in MyReceiveFiles,and my blogger can't upload those pics there.& i'm lazy to transfer them here & there.Bullshit la dey.Bloody com,bloody blogger.

I've got tons and dozens of things to blog about,but i don't know where to start and what to start with): Because i've not blog for such a long time,not even replying tags.I'm sorry then(: But not this period of time i guess,for what has happen the past few weeks,i don't think i gonna blog about them.Lets wait a few days later till i'm going out,because i don't think i'll be out for this two days.Why not lets talk about days starting from this month?Since i'm soooooooo boredddddd nowww.:D

1/11/07.thursday.
Was working @ raffles since monday.Just sit there and pack the books,see workaholics taking the prospectors on their own.The working time was nice,especially thursday,as we take our pay right away there,cash:Dand we can go off at 12.Though tiring,cause i had to go up & down 26th & 13th floor for the books and gotta wake up at 6 plus to prepare.Worked till 5plus and then go out for awhile.Thats why for the last 4 days,i've been really tired,always reach home around 10 plus and just lie on bed to sleep=x.So when me & jasmine finished the work at 12 on thurs,we went to peni to get skinnies,& i got a green one:Di've got a total of 3 skinnies now=x[black,red and green:D].Crazy colours.After that,she went to do her tattoo at Ink By Finch,done by ris(: nice and crazy guy.Haas.I really think the 3 of us got along really well.So the rest of mine,i guess i'll leave it to My beloved brother,pinky.Ris & Joe(:Money cfm gotta earn alot,time alot too,pain ALOT too-.-.Currently trying to search for nice nice pictures,pass it to Ris,he'll do the pic,and draft,while i work hard to earn money): to finish my back(:.Wheees,i'm so excited,although i think it will be long la.But,aiya,nvm.lols.Anw,back to thursday,sis did an old school one on her thigh,and below her stomach,a star.While i did the same-.-without the old school one of cause-.-She's crazy about skull,skull & SKULL.then after everything,it was around 6 plus already,so we went back,and i met up my family downstairs for dinner,my treat(: while she did the same for her family too.After dinner,went to meet up with others.Slacked,then darryn:) jasmine&xinhui came to my house.Planned to play mahjong,but jas went to sleep-.-,damns.

02/10/07 Friday.

So nice to see them here just the next morning i'm awake.Woke up and spent our slow time at home till 3 plus when Jasmine went back home to prepare,while we prepare slowly too.Jas came back to my house again around 5 plus,then we went out around 6 plus?Yea,guess so.Went to peni to see Jas things,met up with Raza,beausuean & another two friends of theirs.Went to have our dinner at burger king(:& then decided to go singing.But then it was a friday,Kster was charging at $26 per person,while Kbox were charging at $33 per person.Like robbing us.-.-.So we decided to go to,er,forget the pub's name-.-.After making our way there,end up the pub was having a private event-.-So we walk our way down to Zahara's pub(:a malay pub.Nice.Darryn:) and doreen came after that,and the two friends left.Drank,not drunk,didn't drink much.Left around 11 plus with darryn:) & xinhui.

03/10/07 Saturday.
I stayed @ home for the whole day:D

I don't know whose real or whose not anymore.I don't trust anyone after you left,suspecting every single person,not knowing whether they're fake or not.Tell me why is this so.No matter who isit by me,i just couldn't stop this feeling,& i would just get suspicious of the things they do,get suspicious of why are this people around me.I don't even know whose right,or whose wrong.I'm tired,i'm sorry.

please don't make me bloody screw anyone of you up on such a nice day.
my time is precious,not for you people to waste it and make me wait.
i can't stay out real late so i really treasure time if i can.
but you people just lost ur mind and bloody brainless,
because why isn't anyone thinking of me ?
trying to get prepared faster and everything helps ,
why wouldn't you people bloody think ?
since the party is starting at 9 , and you people jolly well knows you all hate queueing up,
then prepare early for the sake of yourselves and me lahs .
what ? for now i can only fake a smile and laughter right,
if i go with a black face , its my fault again right .
what's bloody wrong with me man , i can wait at home from 6 plus while getting ready myself ,
and now i'm lying on bed waiting for people to be ready ! hello , if it was u , how would you bloody feel ?
someone like me with full of patience already can't take it,
how about you ?! bloody hell .
you people have eyes , have handphones , to look at the bloody time.
know what time to bloody get up and go . then ?!
my phone kept ranging since the bloody morning of today.
i don't understand why but it kept ringing.
as if i knew everything , as if im suppose to plan everything ,
HALO ! i'm not a assistant neither a whatever u people think ,
what is this ?!
keep asking me where am i , what im doing , what im wearing ,
HELLO , then you people not ready yet , what for asking me ?!
bloody fcuk .
kept ranging and ask me whether to do this and do that ,
oie , i'm not so free to know anything about you people neither others .
so stop calling me ! stop messaging and irritate me .
whether u people wanna head down for the party dosen't concerns me ,
so why even bloody call to tell me you're not going ?! HELLO , bloody mood spoilt by all thanks to you people .
i had enough of waiting for people , especially when they jolly well know what time is everything starting and what they should do but they stil fucking spent their time on something else .
too bad i'm already having a bad mood since morning , so everything's pissing me off .
don't bother to be a idiot . be yourself .

don't know which day at safra:D
while waiting for the guys to finish their DOTA .
even qiaoling & her friends know i bloody hate this game.
not because i don't know how to play,
not because i always have to wait for them,
girls know the reason why,i guess(:

because ng xin hui and LPL[kenneth chua] says that my blog is rotting . so i have to update abit .
anw anw , first thing i gotta annouce is ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER KEN . YOUR SISTER ME LOVES YOU(:
DON'T BE SO BOTHERED ABOUT CYRIL'S CASE .
I'M SURE HE WILL BE OUT SOON .
ONCE AGAIN,HAPPY BIRTHDAY(:!
i've really nothing much to blog about .
all i know is that friends who hasn't been seeing me for long,
and when we've got to see each other nowadays,
they have been telling me i'm getting so pale ):
i'm falling sick . my nose's irritating me now,
and i feel so sick , but i just can't sleep ):
omg , i've really got nothing to blogged about .
lets stop here then.
till i've something to blog about , then i'll start blogging again (:

my aunt & my lovely nephew [ did i spell wrong ? nephew right ? laughs ]

look at how he frown his face , cute isn't it :D

Because of the past i had with you darling ,
because of the hurt and pain i've gone through ,
those times when i needed you ,
even just a day & you wouldn't give ,
& everything that happened previously ,
i've now learnt to treasure&cherished whatever thats with me .
For the days that i've been so depress & down ,
honey , where were you ?
Some people blamed me for everything ,
some blamed you for them .
I was so bothered about what they say , were you ?
You woke me up(: , you taught me how to treasure everything .
Only now i know how to feel whose real and whose not ,
whose true & whose lying .
Only then i know , no one would stay true forever ,
no feeling would never fade .
Things i predicted , things i thought would happen ,
will never now .
& probably things are much more better now ,
you go your way , you get your girl , you have your life ,
while others do the same ,
& i go my way too .
I hope this decision i'm making now isn't wrong ,
i hope its right to walk the other way ,
i hope its right to be like this .
I'll always rmb the pain and hurt i once gave you ,
again i wished you would rmb the hurt and pain you left for me too .
I hope i'm not wrong that you still care ,
maybe its a kind of thing i'm consolling myself once more .
Only you know what you're doing & thinking yourself ,
no one knows . No one would understand , only you & yourself .
Get this clear love , i'm very sincere about thanking you for those memories ,
the first time i met you & for everything we do .
the previous times i thought this wasn't enough ,
but i guess for now , its enough (: everything's enough , more than enough .
the pictures that i have with me , will be things that i cherish , so much . (:
Still friends , aren't we ? i hope so .
like what you say , we could actually be very good friends ,
I couldn't accept the fact the last time ,
but its right , we could be very good & crazy friends , actually (:
Take good care of yourself love , hold tight to whatever you have now ,
rmb to EAT ! rmb to REST WELL . Don't FIGHT !

Starting anew , and i'm already half way into it (:
Congratulate me (:
I'm much more happier with my life so much .

surprised

To others , it might mean nothing at all .
To guys , you might think its something " bo liao "
To high expectations girls , you might think nothing of it .
But to me , its something that made my night .
Just a call & a normal roll of grape mentos sweet ,

you made my night .

you kept me smiling even after i reached my room .

you made me stare at the mentos for a min blankly .

Even if your messages were so boring {=x} for the whole day ,

this is enough (:
Maybe its because i hadn't got a surprise for such a long time ,
and always wanting for one , thats why this feels so nice .

Guess i'm qutting my job soon ,

my female boss's pissing me off .

she's so effing F up .

Probably its right this way ,

everyone starts anew .

Now , with a simple life & a different group of friends ,

it feels so much better ,

than lingering with the old people that holds more than one memory .

Because everyone of us knows each other too well ,

people tend to start giving F up attitude & showing character ,

that i don't think i would wanna get along with .
Yes , its right this way , this should be it .
Maybe in months time , when we would get to see each other again ,

i guess the way we feel for each other would be much more better than now (:

To the person who used James & my brother's name to tagged .
Don't be childish , i'm not as stupid as you think .
Take a good look at the time you tagged , don't you think you're stupid urself ?
The worst thing is , you don't even know how the way they type ,
and look at the way you type .
You totally give me a feeling that you're someone so young .
What " eu " what " tink " . You think what ? my brother types like this ?
If you wanna spam someone's blog , or maybe using other people's name ,
pls go check on them first .
And to others , if you think just by reading my blog ,
you know everything , then you can jolly well not come then .
If you're here to add salt to my wound , then i would sincerely apologise ,
because i'm sorry , you failed real badly in doing that .
& for my brother , so what he loves wearing short sleeves or whatever ,
you think what ? You expect him to wear long sleeves everyday ?
Yes , i agree to you , its cool , why ?
Are you jealous you can't go through the pain on him like he did ?
Or are you jealous that he's a tattoo artist ?
If you're out here to talk about him , if you ain't happy with what he does ,
then both of us would be glad if you would leave your name down .
What for hide behind the computer using other people's name ?
Your mum didn't named a name for you when you were born ?
Or i think you were borned as a bastard ?
So sad for you , i pity you if you have such a background , poor thing .
Don't brood about yourself being borned as a bastard or a orphrange ok ?
Come find me if you're really one , i get you your mother yea ?
& rmb , don't be stupid no more ,
because there's a thing named PHONE in this world ,
invented by some ulu ulu people .
We can phoned to ask , just don't let my brother knows the real culprit for this ok ? (:
& yea , being inside a gang , they're proud of it ? So ?
You're jealous you're not one ? Aww , sad .
Silly , check on someone first before doing this kind of things (:
take care .

The art of understanding depression & love .

I watch you go , you see me walking aimlessly , away .

I've learnt to smile without you . (: A step at a time , slowly .

I've decided the work for my art for my EOY .
6 catogaries to choose from ,
Flashback , Courage , The battle , Shells , Endangered Animals & Water sports .
I took the choice of Flashback & The battle .
I'll combine`em together .
Pictures , colours , memories , love , heartbreaks , drugs , tears ,
Every thing will be base on you .
I'll draw , slowly , from the day i knew you ,
till the day you put a foolstop on this .
5 pages of each drawing block (:
By the time my exams are done , by the time i've finish this project ,
I guess it will be time for my turn to leave a foolstop to this .
Again , a very sincere thank you for everything .
The way you made me felt what love was , when i knew nothing bout it .
Then the way i felt pain when you left .
Thank you for every bit of time you've spent on me .
Though the previous times , i've never cherished them ,
I could still remember some bits and pieces of it .
For now , its like forever you've been away .
She's right , to see you smile and laugh , to see you live the way you should ,
although it isn't for me ,
i should be happy enough . At least you've got what you want .
Since my hopes & dreams for us have been horribly shattered by ourselves ,
i've nothing to do about it .
I can't find a reason for me to built this love once again ,
I can only see the reason for me to remain calm & strong .
I'll never forget how the way you talked , so cold and strange ,
even if they talk about me , the way you replied them ,
this is how cruel you got this .
Not lovers , nor best friends , you gave me a answer of not even be friends .
You don't bother to think or care about what i feel ,
you left no space in your heart for me .
Everywhere i go , reminds me of you ,
i probably think they're right , i miss you ,
just too tired & bothered by all these stuffs ,
i can only miss you by everything i do .
Time heals , i believe so . Time proves everything ,
let days past by itself , let it be (: i love you but goodbye .

Okays ~ Thanks Mr.Dickson for accomapnying me whole day @ work ytd ok !
Thank you for helping me pack up my store & everything . Laughs .
You always say i'll never blog about you ,
& when last time i do , you always laugh about my posts .
Thanks to your short hair , i nearly laugh my arse out .
You totally got a resemblence of Jody Ong . Laughs .
I was walking my way out with xinhui to meet you at 7 eleven .
Just nice as i turn my head back for something ,
I saw you , i nearly got the shock of my life .
Totally not you . I guess if it was from far ,
I would thought jody came to find me . Laughs .
Ok lahs , you really slim down alot since the last time i saw you .
You see lahs , all thanks to what , AHEMS . lols .
Ok , don't miss me too much ,
I'll end this post here (:

I've lost a part of me ,
who else i'm gonna lean on if time gets rough like this ?
who's gonna talk to me on phone till the sun goes up ?
who's gonna take your place so deep in my heart ?
Are my words that hard to believe ?
You've taken everything real & good in my life .
You've pushed me off a 10th month cliff (: Well done .

Love , rmb the first day we met ?
Rmb the first day you said I love you ?
Rmb the way how much you didn't want me to leave for taiwan ?
Rmb the first kiss you gave ?
Rmb the first hug and our first laughters tgt ?
Rmb how much you've tried to stay by me ?
Rmb the way we quarreled and argue but got our way back in the end ?
Rmb those times we smile and laugh ?
Rmb the movies we've watched ?
Rmb the calls we always made at night ?
Rmb the messages you always sent if you missed me & those night messages ?
Rmb the way you held my hand ?
Rmb the way we slept on the floor and the way we hugged ?
Rmb the first morning i saw you right beside me ?
Rmb the four drinks you bought for us the first time ? the drinks you ordered .
Rmb the way you said sorry ?
Rmb the way you sa jiao and tried to make me smile ?
Rmb those times where we got angry at each other ?
Rmb the places we once went ?
Rmb the way how much you love me ?
Rmb how much you would give me your kisses on phone before putting down ?
Rmb the way you touched my face ?
Rmb the way you peck on my forehead always ?
Do you rmb everything ? Everything we've done this 10 months .
Rmb how much you got angry over guys around me ?
Rmb all your promises you broke ? (:
Thank you , thank you for everything you've gave .
i'll be strong , i will .
although missing you its increasing every day , but (: , whats the use ?
Your nick name isn't for me anymore ,
your misses and loves isn't for me ,
no more hugs and kisses nor pecks , no more you .
I would wait , i promise i will .
I don't believe its over between us , i couldn't bare to let go .
i believe it will start all over again , wouldn't we ?
Time heals , just don't ask me to leave and you don't go too ...
Don't go ..
This time , promise me to take care of yourself .
you always fall sick , pls stay at home and rest if you do .
you always stay out late or either not go home , don't make me worry anymore (:
This time , pls promise you would stay by me ,
no matter how much it has faded , try your way back , will you ?
Two promises , just two .
Time , its all about time ... i miss you .

Everywhere i go , every smile i see , everything i do ,
i always see you and those memories .
we've been to too much places tgt ,
the places that i'll always go .
I've start smiling at them , i believe there would be a miracle , isn't it right ? (:
it will happen , this is just another thing we gotta go through .
i'm sure we will .
I'm tired , i have to rest soon , so soon .
You have to rmb darling , even if there's no one there for you anymore ,
even if your brothers all leave and you feel down and there's no one ,
don't be shy over about giving me a message or a call .
I've been always waiting for you . (:
You're not alone , you're not .
You know i was the one who asked her to call you .
Thanks for entertaining me , its enough lying to myself .
You're not alone ,
i don't want you to find me a nuisance , neither a bother to you ,
let time be , i'll always be here waiting .
Not too long honey , i will fall from love soon , anytime .
don't be too long honey .
I'll let you go your way .
Tell me through message , through msn , through calls , through testi ,
if you really think its over ... and there's no more turning back ...
i love you , i promise i will , more than anyone else you think there are .
Don't make my dreams & hopes shatter , don't make me lose them .
I'll be strong , once more , for the sake of you .
Just don't go , just don't see me through ...

Whats wrong with me .
Didn't have the appetite to eat .
& whatever i took , i just vommited out a few mins ago .
I cry , and cry .
& i'm so weak & tired now .
but i can't get to sleep .
My mind's been telling me to wait for your messages & calls .
I kept on looking at my phone , hoping it would ring anytime & its you .
I can't get to sleep , i'm missing you too much .
I'm doing too much for myself , i've tire myself out .
My face's as pale as a white sheet of paper , i don't feel like myself .
Can't i get you out of my head ?
If this continues , i'll really pass out , i know i will .
You're still playing mind-games with me ,
baby , i'm already mentally tired and physically weak & down .
How long , how long do i have to wait for you to come back .
I can't go on anymore , no more .
I've been tolerating & keeping everything to myself ,
i've been swollowing your every word that hurts ,
i'm being forced to a corner , where i can see no one .
where are you , why won't you be here .
when would i get to see you again ,
i'm use to seeing you 2 days or so a time .
Receiving calls and sms-es , hugs and everything ,
now i have none . i gonna break into pieces soon .
urhs , i can't , can't continue ... i'm realy weak now ,
my eyes just wouldn't listen , they just kept closing .
where are you , love . where are you ...
call me , call me will you ..
say u love me once more and tell me its true .
where's ur promises baby . where are you .....

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apar
tI wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

Chorus:
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone .

There's a thing in your arms named freedom .
That carries me through something in love .
Yes , i know , its truth that will never change .
This love's a disguised , but how could you give your heart away in the night .
Baby , i don't know what i would do . I'll be lost if i lost you .
How do i live without you , i want to know .
how to i breathe without you , if you ever go .
how do i ever , ever survive .
how do i even get on each and every night without you .
If you ever leave , baby you would take away everything real in my life .
baby , don't you know you're everything in me ?
You were the one who light up my life ,
you were my hope to carry on .
But your love drift , drifted apart to someone else's heart .
I regretted not letting you know how much you meant when you were here ,
i see you go now , is this still too late .
10 months , 10 months of ups and downs ,
do you really bare to let everything go .
is it true when you type out , its over ...
I can stand through this obstacles , why couldn't you ?
Love will only be able to be treaured and cherished after many obstacles ,
isn't that true ? but why did you go now .
why didn't you wait for me . . .