VC

Its tired though... To try to wake you up,afraid that your dad would scold.
Just because i saw his message this noon was to tell you to get back home early to take care of your sis,if not,do you think i would be bothered to wake you up since i know that you're so tired?
The way you talk to me its like " eh,what the fuck,shut up lah ok " You get this ?
Don't you understand ? You know you're difficult to be called up,then change.

I've been thinking about this for a long long time,that the thing that would break us up would be you,yes you. The way i have to wake you up for such a long time,the way i see you change & the things you just don't listen to. Do you understand that i actually wanted to care for you , to ask you to wake up and go home. I just want to know whether do you have to get home or not. But look at the way you talked to me just now, you claim i started it all , but if wasn't that i had to call you 10 , 20 , 30 ... over times, do you think i would have been so fuck up? Do you know for several times i woke you up,what you told me? You said what husky here and there,beagle this & that...

You have to understand,i'm neither you sis,nor your bro. Neither your dad nor your mum,i don't have the patience . I use to just shout at someone to wake up , and not sit there patiently and shake and call to wake you up. But its been 5 days to our 8 month,and i don't see the change in you. People might think that i'm making a fuss about this,like its only just to wake you up, But idiots,why not you try waking him up the next time ? This time,you just take things for granted,you even kick my dad,HOW NICE AND WONDERFUL IS THAT. You even frown and him and ask " WHAT " . Yes,i will use the word EH. EH,yes,you're my boyfriend,but who are you to WHAT my dad?

Oh yes,you're sleeping when you said all these,but how could you? You said i knew that you're like that,difficult to wake you up , and all these. BUT TODAY'S DIFFERENT,i tried to wake you up more that the previous times. AND YES,TIMES,not time. When we quarreled,you even point at me and say not to say EH to call you. But i'm like this. You ask me to keep my volume low , but this is my house,and my dad has the right to know everything. How can we make up a "beautiful" future when its so difficult to wake you up ? AND YES AGAIN,ITS JUST WAKING YOU UP. Imagine in the future,you have to go to work in the morning,and the alarm clock rings,and you shut it off and sleep. AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP EVERY MORNING,to wake you up,and go through many frustrating looks of yours.

Do you think i like to wake you up? You think i purposely wake you up ? Many times when you're sleeping & your home calls , i just kept quiet,put it to silent and leave you alone . AND YES,it happen when i'm sleeping too, i just do the same thing.

Ask yourself,am i like this before you was with me? I'VE CHANGE,why not ask around? HUH Friends,ask yourselves,am i much different from the day before i was with him? Whenever i wanted to go clubbing,i would go. Any pub-ing sessions,why not? Any lunch after school,why not? Any dinner at night and spent my time shopping around,why not ? Any slacking sessions,WHY NOT? But now,do you know why i haven't been to all these things for such a long time? Its because, what you always say is this " go lah,i won't angry la. / go la,i also cannot say anything. / go lahs,lols,i go do my own thing lors. " & yes,i've tried to go by your " go lah " . So i went,and always come back to see you with a unhappy face. Then when i would ask you,why your face black for what. All you tell me is this , " no lahs,where got " then change the subject. Thats why,to prevent all these,i've stopped all these,for probably,yes,7 months i guess. If not it would be half a year already. All my friends ask,how come you like this huh,how come you this and that ah,come out lehs,so long never come out already. Eh,you look like auntie lehs,eh you fat alot lehs. Eh what lehs,eh this lehs. What can i say? Nothing. I've been going home after school,wait for you,then repeat everything again.

I cook,i do the house work,i smile no matter how scary your mum is,i take care of the little one no matter how much i wish to go out,i wait for you to come back from sch,hoping that you would bring me some thing nice at times,but what do i get ? Its tired,yes it is. But through this coming to a 8 months relationship,sometimes there are too many things that happen,but i couldn't say anything. I know what would your answer be if i say , wa lan,have to take care of your son and can't go out. You would reply " then i bring him home lors " Do you think i want this answer or you thought it was a joke ? Its been 8 months dear,8 months since i gave up so much things,have you ever wonder about it?

Yes,i've tried to get on with life,but i've tried my best,and i still don't get what i use to,what to do?
So now,do you still think you're wrong,or am i still very wrong?
Is it all my fault? Have i spoilt you ? Do i have to go,let go? Or are you going to change,are you going to listen to what i say?
Like today , like what you fight , this and that, i've told you a several times. & i'm tired . Forget it if you don't understand what i say or mean,i'm already speechless.