* its stil bleedin * no one noes .. 1oo2o6 ;;

its not da prob with me tat im someone crazi .. i reali cant take it animore .. no matter how mani sessions of cousellin eu have given me .. its so useless .. cos it dosen't matter so much to me . as i said .. he called me ytd . den he was like saein .. he mish me ..haish . keep saein n saein .. i dunnoe .. jus so blured out . alreadi feel like dyin .. but i rmb wad moi frens told me .. ask me not to cuut or kill moiself .. but todae wen i go sch .. saw meverick hand .. he's hand was like all cuts lor . i si bei du lan alreadi lor . moi mood not good .. den stil this type of things happen . i straight awae cannot tahan lor ..ask firuz buy penknife .. he dunno i wan cut so he buy .. befer firuz come back . i told meverick " eu wan plae this type of thing rite . i plae with eu . eu think veri fun isit . eu got dai ji outside den eu cut . den i got so mani dai ji i die liao la " .. so he was like saein " eu dunch understand " .. at tat moment .. i dunch noe wad im thinkin .. jus noein tat i dunnch noe wad i dun understand about him .. wen firuz came back . i straight awae open da penknife .. go to him .. said da same thing .. den i cut moi hand .. jus a slight cut n moi hand splitted open .. so its like "cool" ... den i can see moi hand inside de things .. den pinky meat .. n da purple veins .. so patrick papa also saw .. den he was like eeeeeee ... wad da fuck eu doin .. veri er xin lor .. den as i noe somethin was gonna happen .. i pinch the splittin part together .. den blood start flowin .den judy who said tat she wasn't goona care about me fereva de said .. eu fuckin bitch . wad da hell eu doin .. den she push me to da door .. dunch reali dare to touch me as she noe i was goin crazi ani moment .. den follow me to da toilet .. there were no tissues eventualli , every toilet i go was like blank . den i ask her go ask 2/1 de teacher . ask liao. den dunch have .. so da teacher saw moi hand ..her kua zhang fan ying was like .. omg .. eu wun faint rite ? eu wun rite ? eu ok ma . wad happen . dunch faint kks .. take care horr .. den i was like i wun faint .. i wun .. relax . im alrite .. den the general office de clerk was like give those look wen she saw moi hand .. she nearli vomitted cos its reali er xin .. hahas . but i dunch feel anithink .. hmms .den after tat .. alot things happen la .. den after tat about last period tat time .. dey sae cannot liao .. i must go see doctor .. maybe need to sew .. so i was like shoutin like a idiot .. saein " omg .. do anithink but no sewin .. no needles pls .. omg " so they was saein .. aiya . not pain de la .. nothin de la .. now everi single teacher noe bout me .. so they ask miss chow n tiffany pei me go see doc n selat road .. den we waited fer da doc til 2.35 .. den he saw moi hand n he said .. how did eu get cut n those bla bla nonsense .. so i was like yellin .. can eu dunch ask so much .. den wen he sae need to sew .. n moi father actualli agrees to it .. i was like yelliin again .. wad the fuck .. n we jus dun sew .. no needle .. no string pls .. dEn moi dad was like .. dunch care her .. continue .. wen into a room .. n lied down .. den he prepare .. so jus wanna put da zhui zhen tat time .. i shout here n there .. jus one needle to make moi hand numb took 2o mins . cos i was like movin here n there .. shoutin ..den i cried .. cos i scared needle .. after i realize it was nothin ... he started to sew .. i dunch dare to see so i was like under the hands of tiffany n moi father .. den stil cryin becos i suddenli thot of one phrase ? one ermhx reason ? wadever .. tats wad im thinkin -> " im cryin now isnt becos its painful .. no matter how painful ish da pain ish .. it wun hurt da wae how i was hurt in my heart .. moi heart hurt moi dan now im hurin .. moi slashs of cuts .. more .. loads more .. no matter how it hurts on my hand ..stil..no one understands .. " so i was like the more i think the more i hurt . dunch wan think den it wil hurt more .. cos i would sae " why do i have to alwaes put on a fake smile .. a unkind laughter wenever i go out .. smile n laugh with moi frens but i have to suffer all myself . da talkin from everi single soul dosen't works .. so why dunch eu people jus let me go " .. haish .. after dunn0e how long .. it became alrite .. n the fee was like 85 bucks .. den i was like . sians sian .. hmms . came back home n i was like so tired so tired .. n den i slept .. hmms . tats all . eat fer moi dinner . n den wadever .. tmr meetin jie jie fer breakfast .. den evenin darliink xin come find me .. i wan force her pei me go sing song liao .. so i hope this few daes wun anithink happen bahs .. whhee .. alan sae he miss me .. hehe .. hahas ..




aiya .. bored up .. moi hand ish wrapped til so obviouse .. bored ..




hmms . b0ii .. if eu once said everithin's over..pls dunch come back animore .. maybe as a hi bye fren we can be .. but not best frens or anithink closer den frens .. cos i wil miss eu n everithin wil be confuse again .. den i wil start moi probs again .. if eu reali love me .. i think .. we would have patch by now .. rumours about eu are makin me crazi .. its a soon or later thing .. i jus hope tat eu would understand how i feel .. i alwaes break ur heart .. its alwaes me .. but sometimes wen eu broke moi heart .. eu dunch even noe anithink at all .. so now .. missin eu is a wrong thing i noe .. but i dunch noe how to stop .. i dunch noe how to ferget eu . rmb eu once wrote one a paper which sticks .. eu wrote it at moi house .. ? in moi room ? eu wrote .. guan hong love vionna 1314 .. it stil sticks on moi cupboard .. till now .. wad does it means ? im stil thinkin till now . cos wenever moi fren also does write anithink n stick onto moi cupboard or mirror .. it would alwaes drop off .. but den i realize not urs .. it was stil stickin there til now .. rmb our dae .. 16o1o6 .. hmms . hais . ;;




maybe it was fate tat made me think wad im thinkin now .. maybe memories were jus somethin to break me down .. it hurts so much .. i onli realize now .. everithin was jus a lie from da beginning of moi life .. it wasn't suppose to be so cold n cruel .. i jus hope life would be soo colourful n free .. im such a fool ? but so ? why do eu have to care ? its jus moi life .. im jus onli plaein with it .. hmms ..




DaRLiin ` BEBE ; babybytche - vion ]]- _ its all a lie .. a lie .. a lie .. unbreak my heart n sae eu love me onli again cos i dunch noe how am i gonna live without eu .. without ur hugs n kisses .. _