what a dae was ytd ; afternoon was a borin one ; a frustratin one ; but it came tat at night was quite fun ; hmmms . we bought a medium bottle of absolute vodka .. n then ermhx .. onli we three gals .. no ice .. no coke .. nothin .. dunno to call who out ; dunno wanna go where . n we jus rot at MOS outside ; saw so mani shuai gege ; hahas ; and then hmms . called peter .. den we went to his house ; and den drink .. omg .. xin n him plae the cai quan . den keep losin den keep drinkin .. the end she became so stupid tat she sae the vodka is hot n boilin ; i n cynthia was like laughin awae .. becos it was reali funni ; den after tat xin cannot tahan . n i became red like a tomato .. n cyn was like alrite la .. jus abit stubborn ; tootpid ; den after awhile .. xin died ; hahas . n i became crazii ; n cyn became so stupid . so blur ; den i start all moi nonsense la .. den i awhile later .. i keep force moiself go wash face n bla bla bla ; den manage to wake up . jus walk abit siao de . den xin n cyn start vomitin ; stupid xin la .. never eat den jiu drink so much . den cyn lei . eat tat udon .. den all vomit out .. si bei er xin norr . den i was like got to take kare of the two of them .. i have no choice but to call kc ; hmmms . it was about 2 somethin le nors . and moi father was like naggin naggin .. n i was like so fuckin frustrated .. den after tat kc took a taxi down .. n xin was like alreadi lyin on da floor .. den got to *fu* her to the taxi .. ue noe ue noe .. den she was like askin me ; why ue call kc of so mani people ; i dun care her n jus walked awae .. so retard . aiya .. den after tat like tat nors . reach moi house here .. den stay at da lift there fer decades of time . den we go up .. cyn n xin keep vomiitin ; n i was like alreadi so blur ; hmmms . den they go in moi room . then i came out to explain things to moi pa la .. den tok tok tok . sians . tok so long . tok til i so tired . den i went back to the room .. den dunno what time den slp .. so ma fan . hmmms . aiya . jus bla bla lors . den this mornin woke up .. den peter slp slp slp . dun wan wake up .. like tat lor . todae whole dae at home . i dun like todae . not becos i didn't go out . i jus dun like todae .. now i jus eat finish n den im concentratin writin moi blog . hmmms . tats all bahs ..
hmmms . cried todae ? hmms . things happen . like what she said .. what done is alreadi done .. it cant turn back .. its prestdined .. or whatever .. i jus did somethin so wrong so wrong .. how would ue ever wanna me to face moi frens .. im so sorri so sorri .. i hate myself fer being like tat .. can i jus get out of this world n stay alone ? can i jus ferget everithin n let everithin start from its beginnin again .. its my life ; so let me die .. see me die .. wil ue ? ;
i jus dun wanna studi .. can i .. force me .. console me . its no use . reali no use .. dun ask me to think about moi future .. i jus wanna moi life without sch .. i jus wanna moi life without books .. i made this decision le .. can dun try to change ma .. hmmms .. i rather dun wan studi and then go learn other things .. manicure ? hairstylin ? or jus work in ani fastfood wil do .. or ani shops .. i rather be like tat .. reali .. i cant stand the everidae wakin up earli .. i cant stand those teachers scoldin n scoldin .. i jus dun wanna .. pls .. wil this do ? .. i jus cant explain to moi father .. i cant even open moi mouth .. what can i stil ever do .. i jus hate moi mum so never even anione would wanna force me to talk to her .. its what mr sim says de .. he told da whole class of mine ; if ue dun wanna studi .. ue slp in class .. break rules in sch .. if ue dun have da interest in sch .. so why dun quit sch n go outside n learn other things tat ue think ue can concentrate on .. ; im jus followin what he says .. so how can ever anione stop me ... i jus wanna me alone all of a sudden ..
its all over ; all over .. moi life is all ruin .. never sae im a small gerl animore .. neever .. one thing ; i jus wanna let others noe how i feel ; how can this be ; i hate ppl scoldin me fer unvalid reasons .. i hate peopl forcin me to do things i do not wan .. i hate people who wants to change my mind . i hate ppl who look down on me . i hate people who never understands me n they sae they do ; it dosen't happens on them . so how the hell can they noe .. i hate everithin .. includin myself ; myself ; a barbiie who is over in her life .. no more her .. no more frens .. no more famili .. no more anithink .. she jus wanna be alone n start all over again without knowin about her past .. can i ? can i ? pls .. pls .. i jus wanna die n take it over ; see me die ? soon ? i dunno .. fer everi question anione g0nna ask me ; i woul d sae dunno .. so dun force me .. dun .. i wil go crazi n do anithink .. so dun .. im alreadi half dead .. so no more stress pls ..
onli she noes what happens .. no one is suppose to ask .. n jus shut up .. i cant take it animore .. im dyin ..
DaRLiin ` BEBE ; babybytche - vionn ]]- _ what done is done . we cant change the past n da present we are holdin onto .. unless ani miracle happens .. there are somethins tat cant be erase n be fergetten about easili .. im someone so weak .. i gonna turn into someone so useless .. no one loves me .. even if a yes is provided .. its onli fer a period of time .. n there's no more love .. nothin wil ever come back again .. so let me go .. n die peacefulli .. _
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