VC

(: You know,some things change,people do too.
Some come and go,some would leave a big mark in you.
And today,i realise,out of a 100 friends i have,it seems like only 5 could be trusted.
People do make mistakes in life,don't they?
Then why don't they deserve a second chance?
Third or even forth ?
Don't you make mistake? Even a single small one?

Sometimes i sit and wonder,so if others could betray me,
so if others could turn their back on me,
so if others could just leave me alone for the day when they promise to meet me,
so if others could let me go for the ones around them,
so if others could do bad things to me,
so if others could forget me,
why couldn't i do the same thing back?
Some things happen for too many times,too many ways it does,
i learnt to do the same too.

At times,people asked ,
" how come you change so much uh? "
" how come you're not you anymore ? "
" how come you do this and don't do that anymore? "
I would always keep quiet and smile,
but i really wish to tell them,if it wasn't the fact that i've accepted people around me do change,
if it wasn't the fact that my surroundings affect me,
i wouldn't have change,i would still be me.

These days,as long as i keep myself quiet and just stand there to look around,
or probably end a conversation with a smile,
they would ask " Is there something wrong ? You okay? Why don't you talk as much as you use to anymore ? You're unhappy ? You've change? Something is wrong ? You got alot of problems you wish to share ? "
But , i'm really not unhappy on the day,
but something in my face do tell people that i don't feel good? I'm not feeling as good as i use to?

In life,things are so simple,
some people tend to be really straight forward,
i don't like you,i tell you.
I want to beat you,i do it.
I'm unhappy with your face,i gonna slap you.
In the past,i find these people really bad,
but so much things have happen,and i realise,they aren't the ones who're scary.
At least you know they don't like you.
Would you rather meet someone who does this to you,
or meet someone who's gonna know about your things,
and then betray you? Do things behind your back? Keep things from you?

Among 10 friends i've met,i thought there's 7 i could trust,
but everything turns out that , none could be trusted,
are things so bad? Am i that bad?
I learnt to mix around,with the old,with the young,
with the guys,with the girls,
so i won't lose anything.
I still treat the ones i think deserve to be treated well,well,
to be treated faithfully,faithfully.
But the way i see, why am i doing that,when they don't even do the same?
I just purely want to protect them from everything,
but i'm always not appreciated after use.

I fell terribly sick ytd night,i felt so terrible the whole damn night,
i change my msn nick this evening to ,
" freakingggggggggggggg sick . " " Someone , bring me to the doctor.. ... ... .. "
And know what,the ones i treated so close,no one came to ask.
Instead,the ones i don't even know or whom i think isn't close,
came to ask , came to help.
When people think of me,
i'm very sure you always think of the bad things i've done,
wrong things i've said or do,
but has anyone rmb , the times i always try to be there ?
when times i help out,when times i try my best to be the best for you?
I guess,no one.

Who has truly understand one? Put themselves in the shoes of others and think?
Who has seriously made no mistakes in their lives?
You? You? Or you?

These days,i've been thinking,
when will it be the day,when someone thinks you're really really important,
they call you when they're out,no matter where,
be there for you no matter what time is it,
hug you when you need one,
stay there regardless of what happens,
when will it be?
When you guys criticized someone,
or blame them for their wrongdoings,
or hate them for being them,
have you ever wonder how " perfect " you are?

I received a news from someone I THINK i could trust,
he told me that someone's bf said this to him ,
" don't get so close to vionna,she not good. bla bla bla bla bla "
I mean,what is this ? When he goes out with you,or whatever,
i don't say anything.
I've never think you're bad,probably your gf,but
do you have to do this? Or,should i phrase it like " Who are you to do this when you don't even know me,when i've never really known you ? "
Then my trust increased for the someone I THINK i could trust since that day,
i thought he will be the one who'll be telling me stuffs when people talk bad about me and he knows,
then a few days after, i heard this thing from another good friend of mine when i told that good friend of mine about this,
" HUH? you know i heard from bla bla bla that he actually dosen't like you ? I don't know lah,this is what i heard them saying,they said he say before he don't like you ( as a friend ) "
LIKE WTF?!
So what is what now? I wanted to comfront him,i tried to start the conver,
but then i gave up,what if it wasn't true? Am i gonna make things so difficult for both of us?
What if it was true? Still,i kept this with me.

Dad always say , and i've learnt it to,
always listen to two,not one.
Because you'll realise,the one you listened too,might be the one lying.
Only when you picture them and their stories together,
you'll then know whats true and whats not.

Now i sit and wonder back into the past,
i've came across a 1000 people,
have i let the best out of the best walked me through,out of my life,
and let the worst ones,stayed.
Who is true,and who's not?
I wished i had the courage,to not think about it.
Things change,people do change too.

I'm not pin-pointing anyone,or blame anyone in this post,
its just random thinkings and a random post,
i'll probably even delete it after a few hours,
its just for fun,i'm so bored.

HEHE,p.s.
can i assume that 8 out of 10 people who're reading this post of mine now,
is swearing and cursing at me?
or gonna spam my blog that i'm really bad? LOL.
whatever(:
before spamming me,oh ya,go think about how good or how wonderful you are.
HEHE.