So let me tell u what,i was updating in school today when these few guys started coming around the computer,so i guess those who knows me well,jolly well knows that i dislikes people coming around me when i'm blogging or doing any updates on any of my personal accounts.I rather people read after i've finished updating,then to look or probably,stare at the com when i'm updating. So i started shouting,in a very high pitch voice. Then i hear patrick say this " wa,so cute one" or something like that.because i shouted not using my usual voice,instead,a different kind of voice came out. Like -.- . So i had bad moods,not wanting to go detention,hmmms,so i went out of school to have a PUFF with lovely judy who was alone outside. We talked,then meverick came. Puff and puff,asked daddy to come fetch since he was already on his way (: , then we came home , studied for like,JUST AWHILE,we slacked,and i end up sleeping at 6 plus,woke up at 8 plus and i find my home with full of PEOPLE! how nice is this.then we had spag,again,now they went to take things,don't think they're coming back anymore. I'm tired today,i'll be sleeping early,i think.
This would be a wordy post,i think you should only read it when you're free :D
Hey dear,listen to this,i didn't expect you to side me or side her from the beginning,partly i've known you for over 3 years. And what about trust? What about people ? Its probably for you to understand and find out,thats why i don't bother to tell you anything about her anymore,because to you,it might sounds like " Huh,what nonsense is she talking? To me,she isn't like that what" . Because love,this isn't the first time that some thing like this happened.
I still wish to talked to you like the past,but my voice just stops whenever i wanted to,and then i would tell myself , forget it,since i can't do so,i just don't wish to force myself. Yes,i'm tired of calling,messaging & waiting for you to give me just a message or a call or probably tell me you're coming to find me to just chill out,or stay at home or anything. As time passes,these waiting started to turn mold,like you left it there for long,and its starting to rot like a log. Like you totally forget all about it,or maybe should i say,to busy for it? Yes,i'm still the person you could turn to,talked to without considering anything,i haven't change at all at this.Yes,we've been spending lesser time,and we're both attach,yes,but its overboard,isn't it? I use to see you for like everyday? Then twrice a week,twice a week,once a week,then after that,for more than a week. You might be okay with it,but then when things happen between that week,i have no one to turn to,neither give you a call.You might like it when we meet after a long time because we've alot of things to talk about,but its different for me. You use to say you've planned your time properly,when's for him,when's with me.But it seems like i'm wrong to believe,and you've shouldn't have said anything about it.Even like you have the time now,you've none with me.I know you need time with your other friends,like going to expo with her and tim,like going out with syl,with tracy,with aron,or anyone,but you go think about it,since the day you drifted with him,none of your time was for me. I didn't want to asked you out,neither asked you to come to my house,because i didn't want to hear any of your reasons or that you're busy,not free. But i have to go by you,i'm left,choice-less.
No i didn't walked out on you,i just didn't find a reason for me to be staying there.Since i didn't like to hear or talk about her,or hear you talked about her,or rather LOOK at her,then i would rather walk off. Yes,it is a small issue,so i didn't wanna talk to you about it. If you hadn't update your blog till as though i'm the one at wrong.You want to make me understand many things that you think i should.But this is me,and this is what i think about this situation.You should know when it comes to a certain situation,i would think many ways to it and many ideas or many reasons about it,so its no use telling me ,making me understand.I don't like her,thats my prob,i didn't say " hey,lets hate her together,lets just fuck her off " . For the last few days,i've done alot of thinking,and then i realise something that i probably shouldn't. Dear love,we're starting to drift,and i'm starting to not understand you,we're like at a different worlds apart. No,i'm not making myself miserable,probably this is who i am from first,and you didn't bother to tell me,only now. But i'm just like this . You know even i probably dislike her now,but maybe not in future time as time passes,its always like that isn't it?Or you just forgot how i am and starting not to understand me too?but something like this happens,just adds up to what isn't suppose to be.
Not her fault,maybe you would say,but its different for me,different thinking for others.
I wrote that i couldn't explained well because i was in school writing,time to go then.So i just cut in short.Yes,i didn't declined that i've lost trust in you,in fact,everyone close to me. Why not tell me,how many times you've lied to me,maybe because for what you think that is good to me,thats why you lie,or maybe you're afraid i would get fuck up because of this and that,have you? And how many times did it happened ?
Its not none of them were there for you when you needed someone,its just that you wouldn't bother to talk about it.
eh,thanks ahs.thank you for all these hors.thank you.continue ah,continue,nvm one.thanks ahs.don't need say don't care de,be yourself lors,and be yourself in front of everyone,like how you are to my friends.ok? (: thanks ah.
