letting bian bian go le . todae . todae she's coming tu bring him back le . no more him at night . no more him barking . no more him jumping here n there whenever i comes back from anywhere . no more . i can feel . fell da hole in myye heart . something seems tu be missing off . i've pack his things . laying outside myye living room . he seems tu noe im letting him go , he's jus sleeping on myye bed . he didn't bark fer tonight . no . nothing . he seems tu be telling me nort tu let him go . he seems tu be hinting me . am i thinking too much ? but i can really feel his presense fading . i remember our first day . ue came . ue bite myye hand n baobeix toe . ue was running around , trying tu get use tu every part , every corner of myye house . ue was so hyper . haas . rmb me n baobeix slept with ue on da floor . 3 idiots squeezing . never knew i was giving ue back . time passes like how the wind blows . its been months . n now u're leaving . it hurts more den nort having him . no more newspapers on da floor . no more socks flying around . no more smelly room . no more everything . why . why am i crying over a dog ? people says , its just a normal reaction ehs ? feelings . no , but it really hurts . sometimes how i wish ue would just stop barking n everything . sometimes i even wish ue hadn't been here . no one is gonna be here cryin with me . spending myye happy or sad days with me . ue wun be here brighting up myye days anymore . you wun be here anymore . everything's gonna be quiet . i'll only feel alone again , back in that house of mine . no more coming home becos of ue . no more rushing home . i'll worry everything when ue get back there . but i'll try tu ferget , maybe . maybe , ue was just someone who came pass myye life tu leave behind ur footsteps n go .....
why call me todae ? why ? why when im starting tu accept the life im havin . why care for me so much today ? why talk tu me so well ? why asked so many questions ? why ? why only till i've finally wanna give up ? why made me have so many feelings ? why make me guilty ? why make me hate myself ? tell me . tell me the truth . tell me everything . why make a fun out of me when i cry calling ue that day ? why ? it was suppose tu be serious . do ue know ? have ue ever feel the way im feeling ? im tired of ue playing . but can ue tell me ue love me ? love me like the way ue use tu . and i'll just leave everything down , myye pride , everything , just tu be with ue . i've been telling ue i love ue fer thousands of time but sometimes i wonder have ue heard it ? i wanna noe everything asap . so i can get things clear . u're the worst prob i've ever gone through . but im sure tu tell ue boyy , i've never waited fer a guy fer such a long time .
DAR . ! haas . a name which was suppose tu be darling was breaken up by ue . n i everntually became ur LING . hmmms . well , i gotta tell ue first befer anything happens . i don wanna care if ue have read myye blog or nort . becos im sure someone's gonna tell ue . he's also reading myye blog . but im really nort sure . i dunno how ue think of me , i dunch noe what ue're thinking now . im sorry but tu tell ue i do things without going through myye mind . its like i just needed someone tu feel myye heart up . maybe i just needed someone tu be there tu care . ue indeed bright up myye days and everything . i bright up urs too . but i thot it was jus frens who care . i never thot this would happen . even i myself was wrong . ue stop me from eating those panadols . ue stop me from those knifes . ue stop me from things that were huting myself . ue manage tu make me smile like i've never . ue told me u've never laugh or smile or been so happy like todae . even those months with her , ue don feel da happiness ? something like tat bahs . ue said she gave ue attitude ue hated . ue told me nort tu . but im really sorry tu tell ue . im really afraid tu end up like her . im nort worth ur everything . im nort even worth ue loving me . i want ue tu noe now .. how i wish nothing had happen . ue never find me when ue were quarreling with her . how i wish we had never went out together . im really confuse . finaally . im sorry but myye heart's stil nort with ue . im sorry .
hmms , this few days never write blog sorry wors . hmms . busy kaes . wil try tu wriite everydae starting from tmr de . hmmms .
darling gerl ` slap me awake tu tell me its all fake , or reality . tell me im a bitch , tell me . tell me ue hate me . tell me im useless . cos im tired . i just wanna rest ..
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