i sank . i cried with hatred . photos ?

i sank when i noe she has ur foto . jia xin ? lols . a gerl i hate since beginning of sch . she has ur foto ??! . i kept quiet . i don give a damn i told myself . i tried nort tu think . let me see .. todae ? haas . i went tu tiff house market there eat . told her her tu come down . her farkin mouth kana what . kana wanna tell me she's proud tu have ur photo . haas . stil let me see . i smiled . look at her .. told her ." ic . good lors . got his foto . ue n him veri good arhs ? " . she looked at me with those farkin llook i hate . den said no . add him in msn den chat den he sent his photo . lols . i cant imagine im luffing ue noe ? i nearli beng kui .. lols . told myself nort tu cos i promise myself tu ferget ue . haas . ue said patch with him ? lols . fer fun lar . impossible fer real . jus plae plae nia . i never even treat him as stead . tats da prob with me . im nothing tu ue animore rite ? jus a idiot whose veri ehs . hmms . fan ? haas . i sometimes see those testi from ur other mei . from other gerls . i reali dun wanna care animore dong ma ? hmmm . my wish was tu have ue on myye b'dae . now , impossible le . lols . what the hell am i thinkin man . the most . ur present ? one hug ? one smoochies . ? not ue .. im stil cryin everi night .. even if its onli fer awhile . i stil wonder why are those tears flowin down . i can feel myye heart's breakin . can feel it hurts so much .. but .. i dunnoe . jus dun wanna noe anithing . hmmms . lookin at ur pictures . i wonder , " are ue a hongster whose gonna end up like mogan ? why does it seems everione around ue whose close tu ue de is gerls nerhs ? hmms . todae took a breathe at esplanade . wondering myself why we're unable to be together ? becos of him mar ? i asked myself . . . lols . i dun wanna ue tell me dong mar ? im afraid the reason from ue tu me is something i dun wanna noe ue dong mar ? i sae i wan surprises . what i get ? nothin .. nothing from anione ..


myye birthdae comin le . i kana celebrate with the wall n those walls around me like tat . cal over 3o . less than 1o can come .. these call frens ma ? i regret knowin so mani dong mar ? ue noe how it hurts mar . whatever . i dun wanna care . dun wanna . celebrate at kbox . what wil i get ? hmms . dunno nawh . dun care . hmmms .


i reali dunno what tu do le . all confused .. lost everithin in myye life .. this year's b'dae like shit . this year kana shit like tat .hais . myye ganma "suan ming" de . this year monkey tu dog year nort good . everithing not good . love . financial .. studies .. home affairs . blablabla la . hmmms . bu dong . she me dou bu dong .. i reali weak le . anitime wil jus break down .. aniwhere .. ani min . xin laogong cum darlings they all nort never see befer . continue like this . i'll reali go crazi de .. i'll reali die .. gone .. its over ..


darling gerl ` its ue i wanna love . why cant ue let me ? why cant i ? wo yi shen zhong . zi ai guo wu ge ren .
caijing .
alan .
kelson .
guanhong .
xiaoping .. " u're not even mine once . its ue im troubled n cryin about . "


todae purposeli ask ue see this blog nort becos of anithing . jus wanna ue noe .. ue dun have tu gibe ani replies or ani ans . this is da wae i alwaes rite . i even once swear in myye blog n tu myye frens i was goin tu ferget about ue , i was goin tu give up everi hopes on ue . but i realise i reali cant do it . i reali cant .. don force me not tu love ue . i'll reali die ..ue never knew how much i suffered fer ue . u'll never noe cos ue don seemed tu noe anithing .. i cant feel ur care towards me .. n it hurts .. reali .. it reali hurts tu see ue cal me mei stil ..


im willing tu do anithing fer ue . those packets of panadols i did .. without myye frens noein .. those penknifes i plaed around . no one would ever understand those pain n the tears i cried .. its all becos of ue .. dun blame urself fer me endin up like this . i dun have ani meanin fer this blog . i jus wants ue tu understand ..