VC

PLEASE KILL ME .
I was so damn stress about my batam trip because i can't make it due to personal reasons and some religious cause ..
Had to worry so much about it and i wanted to go so much .
It feels so uncomfortable not going after i promise`em .
Been stressed up by my own personal stuff and everything .
I totally forget my dad's birthdae , which is today .
Woke up today with a bad mood because i didn't want to go to school so much .
All i was thinking was the batam trip .
Only then after school when dad fetch me up from sch and he reminded me himself what date was today .
And i realise it was his birthday . I was just choked up by words , i had nothing to say .
I was crying terribly while walking home because while i tried to called all my close friends , none was there for me .
I wanted to give a surprise for my dad but its already 4.52pm now .
I have no cash with me @ all .
Goshed , am i blind to have such sisters and friends ? I really don't know what to do now .
I guess dad heart's breaking now , i don't even rmb his birthday .
What's happening to me ?
I guess i will have to lend money around to help dad celebrate his birthday this sunday . Anybody willing to lend it to me ?
I promise i would return asap .
Dad , i'm truely so damn sorry , i'm really really very tired about things around me and really damn stress up .
I hugged my dad before i walked back home , i said sorry , and that caused me to cry out loud without letting him knowing it .
I can't imagine i even quarreled with him in school just now .
Can someone shake me awake ?
I only know how to hurt my dad , always , and even today , i can't rmb his birthday .
What kind of daughter am i ?

TELL ME I'M WRONG ,
to be with friends with you .
to know you .
to trust you so much .
to even open my mouth to say you were my sister .
If you really treated me as a good friend , would you be out there talking about me behind my back ?
Would you even wanna find probs with me ? For goodness sake , i'm so blind .
I've been trying my best to treat you as good as i can , don't you feel guilty now ?
Trying to add my friends , trying to talk bad about me that nearly caused me to have problems ?
And should i ever trust you again ?
How can you tell me different things from what you did ? I'm blind to find someone like you as a friend , why not say sister ?! goshed ...