went to my uncle's house early afternoon becas of my cousin's birthday . was really feeling very tired and couldn't even concentrate what dad was talking on the whole way . i was listening to the songs and staring out of the car window dreaming [ i think ] . as soon as we finish eating there and slacking around for awhile , dad fetched me down to fareast to meet syl and his mum . when i reached there , i was standing there like a statue . the weather was deffinetly very hot and it brought my mood even down . i was waiting for them there and i eventually finish 3 sticks of BLABLA . when they reached , we smoked again and went to walk around , his mum went to 77th street and withthin half an hour , she spent a total of $45o . then we went to shop around and buy things again . because there were alot of people at fareast today , so we were lazy to walk around more , so syl mum went home with all the things she bought for herself and syl and someone , leaving me and syl with no where to go and nothing to do . i decided to get on the taxi and think of somewhere to go then . i made a decision of going to marina square . reached there and i start to shop like a crazy bitch . it was really bored so i suggested to watch a movie or go to kbox . but syl didn't want to ! so i continue shopping . spending around 45mins in top shop and 15mins in MANGO . shhhh , syl didn't know i went to MANGO . while i was shopping , i just couldn't stop thinking of you . i was complaining and complaining to syl about wad happen and many other things . and he told me he rmb i once said " something which dosen't belong to you , no matter what , the person or thing would eventually go one day . no point keeping the person but not his heart and soul " . goshed , i've said , im always like tat , i only know how to convince and comfort others but not myself . i even forget wad i've said only until syl remind me . hmmms . in the end , due to boredness , we stil went to kbox . i sang and sang and sang , only then i realise i wasn't even interested in any high songs but i only kept pressing for those slow and love songs . i sang and sang , there were so much meaning in each of the song i sang and it hurts . after that , i went home straight away yarhs . thats all .
anw , hmmms . this to syl and ya , my didi , ethel , lao de . thanks for being there trying to make me smile and not to think so much . especially ethel , you were there even before we ended . you were here for me until now . i appreciate every sentence you tell me and i know you really hope i would understand . i do , i'am just being stubborn , not wanting to accept the fact and wad had happen . im so sorry . to syl , thanks for accompanying me today to shop around and you rotting in kbox . thanks for listening to me and telling me so much things . thanks for the time when you were trying to make me laugh and smile . thanks didi for being there the whole night , i never knew you were going to be the one there for me till ytd . the webcam u try to act serious and ke ai really did make me smile . thanks . =) .
i don't wanna be your sister nor your friend . I rather cut all my ties with you than rather being like this , it hurts me more , do u realise that ? i tried lying to myself that this break was a fake , you gonna give me such a nice surprise on valentine day . i was lying to myself , i know that . i've given up every single hope i use to have .. let me be then . im really tired , really really tired . i wake up every morning , hoping to see ur message , even this morning , but i got nothing . why ? i was waiting for your call but there were none too . i really need your hug so much so much . And i'll never want you as a brother or even a friend . . . . i really miss you so much and its really very tiring to know that i'am actually missing someone who dosen't love me at all . since ytd night , i really hope my msn chat log would blink and when i open it up , it will be you . but i disappoint myself times and times again ... wad can i do more to bring u back .. .. .. ?
why make me fall for you and then leave ?
why make me like this ?
why make me like a fool ?
why don't you love me ?
where did i went wrong ?
what did i do ?
am i really such a failure ?
can i know what do you really want ?
he said becas you were a superstar so you didn't know the meaning of the word " treasure " . he said becas you knew you had more better girls , so you left . he said i coulddn't capture your heart well . he said even if i do , it wouldn't be for long . he told me to give up , he told me there would be a better one .. but i just couldn't bare to leave you . i just couldn't bare to let you go . i just couldn't let my heart to hate you ... i cant ..
is this for real ?
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