VC

gosh , thanks to wordpad and msn , i stil can save and sent to dabudian by msn . =) . hmmms . loads of meet ups and meeting nowadays , so can't pei anyone too much . due to those probs nowadays , my mind just couldn't rest . and becas of you , my attitude to my friends wasn't really good this few days . i get fcuked up easily and hmms , nothing . =) . to my friends , i'am so sorry ... i just couldn't control .well , this blog would be quite a short one becas dabudian gotta go offline at 11 plus so i have to rush this on my wordpad . pphew .
of cas you won't wan me to blame her . yes , i'am selfish , i'am everything u never thought i would be . And when the day i had faith in you , everything turn out to be a total nightmare . i knew from the beginning there would be alot of quarrels and arguements becas of her , but i didn't want to think much . i just wanted to take a step back whenever everything happens and take it as my fault . i didn't want everything to end so soon . breakups were suggested by my friends , but i just didn't want to , i didn't want to regret in the end , [ a disappointment for u huhs ? ] =) . i admit i'am jealous , i admit i'am bad , i admit im unreasonable and petty . but which girl wouldn't be like tat ? like wad i say , every moments i asked you to meet me , its not becas i don care about you , i just miss you so badly . i could go crazy , and im surprise its for you . you think i don wanna go down to meet you ? you think i don't miss you ? can u just think of the situation i am in ? does my dad allow ? you have to work , and everytime when u end your work , its already in late evening , i can't go down . whenever i finish sch , i wished to go down too , but u're working . don say i didn't bother to ask , its common sense i knew u were working . isit becas of the distance between us caused everything or her ? every single person told me the cause of wad we are becoming now is becas of her , they told me to watch out , they told me to step out of the circle first , they told me to suggested break first , they told me to bring u away from her , they told me more things to do . but i didn't want when i could , i didn't want to take away wad belongs to you . i don't want to be ur gf who controls ur everything . i was once told by my ex , saying i wasn't fit to be a gf yet . i know how it feels , i didn't want to tell u the same too . i try keeping things tat could hurt u to myself . i try to hurt myself , i try to cry it all out , but it was useless to get u away from her . test , test , everything was put to a fullstop when u replied her and not me . u think i don worry about your results ? you think i don't care ? you think im just tat tai tai who sits there for everything ? i worried , but wad could i do ? i told u not to worry about it , i told u not to think about it , but wad did u say ? u had no confidence in urself at all , i didn't know wad courage should i give u . u were the confidence and courage in me , u gave me the courage to do things i didn't dare to . the thought of you , and i could just do anything even if i were to harm myself . you think its stupid for me to cry , to hurt myself , but wad could i do to make you mine fully ? don tell me u're keeping from me something if you don even wan me to know . u make me worst , u make me know u''re keeping from me something , its common tat if i asked you to tel me . but u don't , u kept saying nothing , wad it will cause us to break . a relationship needs trust between . i tried trusting you , im sorry , i cant . i yelled at my fren , ran , hide and cried , in public , in sch , at home , but i stil kept quiet . till wad happen todae , i realise something i never use to , i've been slowly , starting to give up , unknowinllingly . and if i ever gonna die for the sake of you , i want you to see it in ur bare eyes how i gonna to . i don't need anyone's pity , i just need urs . i need ur attention and everything . i miss the day when i just knew you , i miss the day when u had just fell for me . i miss the first dae i saw you , the second and then the third day . and now , all i could do is to look at ur pictures , listen to the songs u sang to pass my time . thinking u're just right behind me sleeping like before . i didn't want to turn my head around to disappoint myself , i'll never turn around . my best wishes for you about tmr , and maybe , you and her . =) . don worry , i still love you , more than before , i'am just starting to let you go before you go in a flash of time and i can't control myself . you won't know how i wil want to end up to .
your best friend would be ur closest enemy , your best friend would be also the one who gona hurt u the most in the end , thats wad my father told me nowadays , everyday . i know wad he meant , i know he cared . so im starting to let everything beside me go , the person who is ur true one , wil stay till the end no matter wad happens . i wil start to let everything go slowly becas i don't want to end myself uup like a fool again . girl , don u realise nowadays whenever u said u have to stay back in sch or go home , i would just let u go ? do u realise the attitude u gave me and to W and T is different ? have u realise im starting to just treat u as a fren ? have u realise im only sticking to pat ? have u realise everything ? have u realise nowadays whenever i wait for u , and in the end u said u wanna stay back in sch or wad , i would just orhs and walk away , and not like the past anymore ? i don't want to hurt myself with my own hands . don worry , i won't blame u , i knew from the start they were ur DREAM FRENS . =) . to everyone around me , im starting not to dislike or hate anyone . so , ya , don be frighten if i suddenly smile to you one day . and hmmms , you're free to come and go in my world , i don care anymore , not ever . i've given up in everything that i thought it would never end . . . . .
ben lai bu jue de ni te bie teng wo , zhi dao ni bu zai teng ai wo yi hou . ben lai bu jue de ni te bie teng wo , zhi dao ni bu zai kan wo yi hou . lai bu ji le , she me ye lai bu ji le .
mei you ni de ri zi li , wo bian de hao cui rou . mei ren zi , mei ren guan , ni ye bu guan le . kuai le , bei shang bei ni zuo you .shuo yi qian bian wo ai ni ye bu guo . wo man man de zou .zai ku ye shi zhe qu ren shou .hao huai nian ni gang kai shi ai shang wo de nar yi tian .yong yuan ye bu hui , hui lai le .