VC

a day i thought i was going to have fun and love , ended up with tears and hatred . its useless listening to your explaination and the ending is the same . tell me there's going to be a difference in the answer ? i wanted a definate ans , a clear one , and not all ur explainations and the ending is the same . the min i saw you , all i wanted to do was to hug u tightly and never let you go , but i can't . my sucky face went around with me throughout the whole way we walked . i can't smile , its not i don't want to , i just can't smile . when we sat there , u exxplained , but i just couldn't get wad u're trying to tell me , i only understand tat u wanted me to take care of myself , treasure myself . when i asked u whether to break , you didn't want to say but to continue explaining . until u say , " actually the reason for asking you out todae was to break " . * shattered .. gone ... * i walled away without any more words , you didn't bother to stand up , pull me , you didn't bother to chase me either . my mind was in a total blank , i didn't know where should i go or wad should i do . i sat at the other side , thiking u would be able to search for me , but u didn't . and then i went to sat at the stairs , listening to footsteps from behind , how i wisheed it was you , but it was a disappointment when i see the faces of the people behind me . i'am as tired as you are , why can't you give be a better ans ? i cried , for long , and i stopped . i walked back to take a taxi and went back home . i came back , changed and i thought i could jolly well spent my days like normal , using the com . something brought me to my bed , held the big pig that u gave me and i cried , i shouted , i yell , but there was still no one around for me . i teared so much and i called u , i asked why , where did i went wrong ? wad did i do wrong ? why are u so selfish to only leave me after i've fallen deeply for you ? u didn't give any reply and u just quietly held onto your phone . i yelled and screamed but there was still no response from you . i wanted your reply , a reply that would change my mood and bright my day up . i wanted you saying " no , i won't leave you anymore " . but i was just lying to myself , thats all . i put down the phone and then off it . i held the pig again , crying , shouting and everything , and then i lay back crying to sleep . i woke up with swollen and pain eyes , i was tired and weak . i ate up with several panadols , cried and went back to sleep again , how i wished i never woke up ever . i wanted to make you regret leaving me , i wanted to make u miserable , but i can't , becas ur feelings weren't there for me anymore . wad's wrong with the word " i love you " ? where's the you who use to love me as much as i think ? where am i now ? i only knew i didn't want you to go , i missed you so much ... you said your feelings weren't there anymore since u came back from indo , but u tried messaging me again , etc .. wad's the use ? why didn't you tell me earlier ? why drag til i've fallen deeply for u and then throw me aside ? why only till todae u're telling me this kind of things ? you made me a fool out of nothing , you made me a fool .. i threw the neoprints away , i burnt it . the pictures taken at my house before me leaving taiwan , i tear it and let it leave with the wind . i lost my trust in you but i never thought you lost your feelings for me . everything left so fast , even her .. everyone's leaving suddenly , wad am i suppose to do ? you said the day before ur results , you said break if u fail , but u passed , and everything end up like the same . so why give me hopes but let me down again ? wad did i really went wrong ? my love ? my care ? my character ? my attitude ? wad went wrong .. .. .. ? days are gonna be a torture without you , without ur messages in the morning , afternoon and night . u're just toturing me mentally and im going crazy . my mind is in a mess , only memories of us left , my tears just wouldn't stop . i just hope you would be back , or if not , i would want you to leave my world forever , for the sake of myself ... i miss you .. ='( .

you're not here anymore , so where's the me ? i need your hug so much , i need you even more , but it will never ever happen again . let you go , is this the only choice ? don't tell me you want to be my friend , the one who stays by my side to be with me when im down ? pls , don't talk , the more i see you , the more im dying . your existence kills me each day . pls , don tell me you wanna be my friend , and only my friend . i lost my appetite , i hadn't eat since afternoon and even the sight of food makes me puke , all i want is you , only you . can i , once more ? everyone thinks my valentine would be with you , even i thought so . you said you had planned , and wad am i getting in the end now ? is this the surprise u had planned for me ? is this wad i deserved after everything ? i just want to see you without u speaking nor me .

everyone's busy today , and im left at home , in a dark room , looking at the pig u gave me , with my tears rolling . where's the love that use to hide between us ? where's the you i use to see ? even a thousand times of saying i love you now is useless . i can't bare to blame you , i just pushed the fault to myself and the existence of hers . i just couldn't bare to hate you ...

went to sentosa early in the morning todae with juney , sun tanned for so long and then when i knew you finish ur performance , all i wanted to was to rush out to meet you . i packed so fast , without even putting on my make up and i rushed out . i thought i would meet u at bugis , so i called my dad . but then in the end u said you were cominq to vivo to pass ur fren the money u owe her . so i had to call my dad to say sorry and don't need to pick me up . then rush my way alone to meet u at vivo , thinking i would get a hug from u as soon as i see u . but i got nothing but a disappointment out of everything . i on my phone , but there's stil no messages or calls from you ? wad is this ? have i choosen the wrong decision from the beginning ? i shouldn't have trust your love or even you ...