VC

Heart aches and breaks. My tears are now dried up,there's no more i could drop.
There was nothing i could do to help,i could only look at them helplessly.
I'll never forget singing to them twinkle twinkle little stars to sleep,from the first day...
Till days when i realise they couldn't sleep,i would sing to them,peacefully.
They would lie and sleep in my arms,soundly.
They looked like angels of mine,making my day,no matter how naughty they were.
I remember worrying for them,sending them to the clinic for check-up.
I only realise then,that there was a virus going on at pasir ris farm.
Puppies are most likely to get them and the virus's fatal.
I pray hard,wishing my girls would fight them off,but none of them did )':
Inky had blood in her poo one morning i woke up finding.
Thought it was nothing because bian bian had it before,too heaty.
Bathe her,and she was shivering hard.thought she was afraid and cold,but it turn out no.
She started vomitting and i started worrying real hard.

I tried calling many clinics,searching their number online,but none was open.
Due to it was a sunday.
I manage to get a number,to the hospital for pets.
I started losing control,i started crying,asking them what to do.
I had to rush them down,it was a emergency.
They just thought Inky was ill like many others,they treated her.
She had fever going up as high as 40.5degree. It was really difficult to see her suffering.
She was my favourite one,but i'm not bias.
She was hospitalised in the end,and i felt really helpless.

Miss Valerie Ng [ my vet for my puppies ],checked Ice-T too,she was really healthy.
She was ok , for the rest of the day,really hyper,really making my day.
I know that she was missing Inky,without her by her side,
because they've been spending 2months and few weeks tgt.
It really hurts but i had sch the next day and i was really tired,
i had to sleep.
I woke up by a dream of them,and i heard a whining outside.
I thought she was afraid of the dark,wanting me to accompany her,it was 4 plus in the morning.
I switched on the light,stayed with her.Then i saw something.
She started shaking her head as though like people with some illness,that they wil bite their tongue and shiver,and have white foam coming out of their mouth.
Her saliva became like bubbles , foam , and it started coming up.I got really a big fright,i had to call baby.
After shivering and everything,she will start to become really hyper ..
I started hugging her and cry,i didn't want something to happen to her.
Baby had to rush here,and we took care of her till 8 plus,i had to go to sch.
And dad fetched Ice-T and baby to the hospital.
It was a emergency again,and it really breaks my heart to see baby's message,saying it 100%,Ice-T's infected with the virus.
Its so fatal that this is only one of the symtoms,then it would affect her lungs,then her brain.
The reason why after shivering , shaking her head real hard and foaming and she become really hyper active,is because the virus is already attacking her brain. That made her became a little crazy that she had no choice but to jump around,shaking her tail,as though she was happy.

After sch,girlfriend and me,plus baby and daddy went to pasir ris farm to confront that guy.
His fox tail just drop out,accidently saying that he knew about the virus.
The first injection was for them to see if they could fight the virus.
It was nonsense,he was just talking nonsense )':
They were two more sisters inside his farm,it was Inky and Ice-T's sisters .
One really look like Ice-T,but the other was black and white but she resembles them too.
I couldn't control these emotions again,i had to cry,real hard.
Dad said that no matter what,Inky and Ice-T will have to be given back to him,
because we couldn't afford their hospital fees,neither we know what will happen to them.
The guy said ok to refund us the money,but we have to bring my girls to him.
I was feeling weak enough,i just didn't want to continue.
We went to the hospital,and it was also close to visiting hours.
So i had the chance to be with other dog lovers to go in.
Ice-T had to be isolated,in a room,all by herself,alone.And i really couldn't stand the pain to see her . I had my tears rolling,fast.
She knew i was there,she stood up,i know she wanted me to go in,to have her in my arms,and so we could feel each other the last time.
But i couldn't go in,they wouldn't allow me to.
I went to look at Inky after that,yes,she was getting better,but it was sure whether she was infected with the virus too,because they're from the same mother,same farm,and they had been playing together.
She regconise me too,but she was better,i could open her door.
I hugged her in my arms,looking at the drip on her.The needle,her blood.
I sang softly to her,twinkle twinkle little stars,how i wonder what you are.Up above the world so high,like a diamond in the sky,twinkle twinkle little star,how i wonder what you are.
She knew my smile,she knew what good girl means.I had to repeat,for so long.
I had her in my arms,as though she was someone closer than anybody else to me.
She started sleeping,so peacefully,so quietly . I had baby to take her picture and it was beautiful.
She wouldn't want to leave my arms when i had to put her back.I knew she cried.
We just didn't know what to do.

Dad and baby had their discharge forms done,we had to bring them back.
Again,in my arms,Inky slept really quietly.
Ice-T in baby's arms,slept really nice too.But she had to wake up now and then,
because of the shivering and foaming thing.It really hurts to see her suffer , so much.
Dad said it wasn't my fault,it wasn't our fault to what they are now.
Because we really did took care of them well,it was the guy's fault for not telling us,
and selling us the both of them.
I believe in fate alot,i believe it was destined for us to spent their days with them before they suffer much. Before,maybe,they're gone.
We brought them back,the guy started changin his words,saying it can be cured.
but doctors already said that it cannot be cured !
And said that he thinks that Ice-T couldn't make it anymore,so he would refund us $400,
and he would take care of Inky till she becomes better.And return us.
Dad insisted,because we do not know what he would give them.

Its painful,i see them in the cage,looking at me walking away.
I told that guy,to better take good care of them,and never ever put them to sleep.
They're my babies,and he don't have the right to do anything to them.
I don't have,financially to take good care of them.So i had to depend on others.
It was really pain to let them go,it was really hard to see them suffer.
I had my eyes swollen,seriously.
Who would understand the pain i'm going through.
To let this baby girls i've took care for days,not even two weeks,to let them go.
Who would rather be in my shoes,to understand my pain,to let them go.
To see because i couldn't afford to take care of them,and i had to let them go.
It wasn't wasy to beg dad to let me have both puppies,it wasn't even easy to beg dad to let me have a dog again,and now this is happening.
They were like my precious daughters,like how your parents treasure and love you now,that was how much i love and cherish them.
I just got them their toys just before everything happen,and this is happening.
Who would really understand my hurt.
Just think,what if one day,you lose someone really close to you.Like your parents.
Or maybe you have your own child,lets say what if one day you lose them...
Its just so unfair to me,to see my baby girls,go.
They were just only getting use to me,and i had to let them go...

I dreamt of them,again.I couldn't forget the smell they had on them.
The little size,the little one i'm carrying.The warmth,the way the look at me.
Tell me what to do,with such a wound in my heart.
Tell me who would be able to comfort me,to heal the wound in my heart.
Tell me the truth about everything.tell me who would be bothered to care.
Its just so unfair.Its pain,its heartbreaks,and heart aches.
Is it just my fault..