OMG. FUCK.
HOW COME AHJIE & FRED IS TGT AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL?!
AM I RETARDED?!
HEY RETARDS!!!! I'M YOUR LIKE SO GOOD FRIEND LAH.!
HOW COME THE BOTH OF YOU KEEP IT FROM ME.

ITS OKAY. YOU'RE BOTH IN MY LIVING ROOM NOW.
I'M SO GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH LATER.
OMG.
I'M SO GOING TO CRY FOR YOU BOTH.

CONGRATULATIONS HONEY BABIES.
CONGRATULATIONS! :D

& for all i know,i've lost my life too.

So that i've been working,staying home and eating.
Makes me alot alot fatter.
Been wanting to go out alot these days.
But i don't know where to go.

Really really want to go overseas.
& i hear Bangkok calling out for me.
Wanted to head to Japan with Judy&co.
But no more tickets.
Which is a super sad news.
But its okay.
J says they are going to head to Tw and Hk beginning of next year.

Anw. I'm planning much of my off days with my honey pies.
Haven't seen alot alot of them for weeks and months.
Hope to see Can,Fred & Ahjie tmr night.
But Fred haven't confirm with me yet. ):
Gonna see WZ and rest super soon,i guess.
Come on come on.
Need some spices,sugar and all sorts of things in my life.

Yawn,okay.
Work tmr. Gotta sleep.
Quite tired though.
Goodnight.

okay. 

I am going for steamboat soon! SUPER HUNGRY LAH!

rush rush! 

BYE!

I MISS ANGELA DAJIE! ):

& so,i was at XE's chalet from Mon. 

Had extremely much fun!

Pajamas party on monday night,

you see everybody wearing pajamas bbq-ing,drinking,playing...etc.

Oh,you even see cake,whip cream and cans of beer flying around.

AND WATER BALLOONS. Lol! 

But most of us drop dead by 2am.

Woke up at 12pm on tues noon.

Washed up and stuffs,

then we went to have our breakfast.

Back to the chalet,rest.

& we went swimming! 

Da yi ma was here to visit me for the past few days,

i didn't want to swim,but they say i'm anti-social ):

So i had to.. i didn't mean to... LOL.

Went back to hotel,washed up again and rested.

Then we went for dinner with kingsly and family.

Movie after that. Watched Orphan,

rated 4.5/5. Its super good lah! 

Oh,actually. before movie,we went ntuc to get some stuffs for midnight bbq-ing.

and i shopped a little. hehehe. bought some tees and a new slippers. ITS SUPER UBER NICE.

Okay,and we walked back to the chalet after everything.

I went to bed by 1am plus.

Woke up on wed morning and rushed to work.

Though it only takes 10 mins. hehe.

Back home after work. 

Not working today though,

but still,i'm home.

Suppose to pray for the 7th month but daddy says my da yi ma is still here and i can't pray.

Now i took off for nothing.

But its nice to rest.

I'm off to apply mask after blogging with lemony.

Okay,goodbye.

I'll blog later with pictures from chalet.

Surprise.

I love you! (:

Other than you talk too much each time we watch any show. -.-

This is my first post,after so long.
But updating with a extremely bad mood.

First,
bitches and bastards.
Fuck you.
For your info P & De,
you guys are just part of my life,past.
You guys never got to know me.
So don't judge me.
P's been spoiling my little young reputation since one random day.
Nothing has ever happen between us,so shut your fucking mouth up.
D's been judging me since one random day,
you started it all,and ended it like a child.
So you don't deserve to say anything.
We don't communicate,at all.
I detest you people like insects.
Seeing you people every week makes me puke without drinking.
& that random Sk guy.
Seriously,i don't even know who are you.
Until,last few weeks i met you.
You disgust me.
Sadly,you know too much about me,
again,without knowing me.
& you're judging me. GOOD.
Such an asshole.
So guess what.
These assholes are all friends(:

Yes.
i don't worth anything.
I am too complicated and smart.
While others are simple minded and dumb.
To whoever eyes.
Yes.
Whatever i do,
where ever i want to start anew again from,
pulls me down.
You people just smack me down at the wrong time.

I am not ready for anything,anyone.
So come on,
Judge me,judge my life,judge every single fucking thing about me.
Do whatever you people can,go on.
This is me,can you accept it?
Maybe i've been right from the beginning,
i shouldn't start from the people who've known me for a long time,without understanding me.
They don't understand me,not easy at all.
Because its difficult to trust again.

FUCK YOU IDIOTS BECAUSE WHAT STUCKS IN YOUR DUMB MINDS ARE OTHERS PAST.
How about you people?
Pretty innocent past huh?
I shut up,because i feel i should.
You people talk too much because its all yourselves you think about.
Go think about it.

So,can anyone understand why i am leaving now?
I didn't blogged about it,
but,i'm leaving.
& you guys just make me feel my decision is right.
Much right after everything.
Aus might be the perfect place i can ever start again,
without anyone knowing me.
At least,no one would hurt me with their "simple" conversation.

I am too young,too young to take any of this.
I have feelings too,isn't it?
Now i feel like leaving,right now.
So everyone could just shut up.
We're all taking things for granted..
My nightmares just hit me,
as soon as the min,i stepped into outram.
Knowing these people,knowing who they are.
Letting them know who i am.
5 years ago,thought they were the great friends that would be there,always.
Friends. _|_

I don't know what is this.
Can i blog or not?
Not i don't want to upload pictures,
but blogger is making fun of me.
I'm just trying this out,
it writes " Preview ".
WHAT IS THIS?!

I spent my off day today happily.
Super tired,haven't been getting enough sleep but i spent my day happily.
My happiest moments are always with them.
Goodnight. YAWN.

P.s,
Darling,take care.
No more drinking,pls.

Drinking makes one forget what he/she is suppose to rmb,
but reminds one of what he/she is suppose to forget.

I'm sooooooooooooo tired.
I'm suppose to stay home today.
Rejected all friend requests to go out,
except for one royal lemon.
Dawn again.
Fun,though some times i tend to rot alone there,
but fun. with fun people around.

Goodnight.
I am gonna be so tired at work tmr.
Screw myself.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel,
but a comedy to those who think.

Work today at Srg.
I've been eating,eating & eating.
My god. I need to stop.

Okay,i'm super tired already.
Goodnight.

Someone has been missing for the whole day,missing.
TSK.

HARRY POTTER TMR! :D
GOOD,movie time.

I wanted to see if i can post pictures.
Wtf. I randomly chose a stupid looking one and uploaded it.
Now i can't bare to delete. LOL.

Met .. for breakfast today at Tb.
So weird. We talked about random stuffs. -.-
Asshole forced to sent me to work,
when he haven't slept for over 24hours.
Sweet. Haven't seen a guy whose willing to do that for a very long time.
I MEAN,he stays at ... and... LOL. whatever lah.
Initiated to pay for the cab fare but sadly,
Uncle said " you mei you san qian? "
I won. i paid. LOL.
He stayed at Srg for awhile,
staring at the both JRT puppies.
Then sent him off.

Okay. Breakfast made me so full for the whole day.
But i still ate my lunch & dinner.
Now i feel like a pig. ):
Pig. Pig.
Fat.

Goodnight.

好聽! (:
Watch K.O Sanguo. You'll laugh like mad.
Its super nice.

Cycled alone at Ecp on Sunday noon.
Shopped at Bugis and went to find Gf.
Had steamboat.
To her home,Dawn.
Then home.

Work today.
Surprised Angela.
Super tired.

Long day tmr.
Goodnight.

Goodnight,goodnight,goodnight.

I'll blog again when i find the purpose for me to update.
Goodnight.

There's random people viewing my blog.
I should just change to private,maybe.
Its not nice to have too many people knowing you and how you feel.
Because some don't understand and they just blame you.
Some just understand too much.
This is it,goodnight.

Now,
fuck you.
Can you read this?

I'm feverish,i have flu,cough,soar throat and aching everywhere.
H1N1? Scary.
I don't know,i haven't been to the doc and i'm super weak.

Dad just took my temperature and i'm 39.4degrees.
Cool yo,we'll see how tmr.
Being quarantine should be fun.
Alone,chalet,
i can use the time to figure my problems out!
MY GOD.
This is so cool. Lol.

Anw, bloody tears flowing aagain,fuck u tears,fuck you.
Go away.
Not at this sicky moment.
I feel lonely though.lol.

Tues is A's birthday,
i'm prepared to drink till i die.
Let me man.
I don't care,i'll pass this Pig flu to everyone.
Joking. LOL.

Well,tired though.
and today i know,
Love is unfair and humans are selfish.
We all think only about ourselves.

Okay,Goodnight,i need you to be here,
but whatever,goodnight.


pss pss,edited.
I want to delete a post,
but it can't be deleted.
Blogger is making the fun hell out of me. Thanks!

Okay,too long post. Now i feel like dying alr.
Soon.

I slept at 4.30am on friday night.
Woke up at 9am and went for work.
Ended work at 8pm,and went for Sze Kee's birthday.
Happy 21st Birthday Sweety! I hope you enjoyed.
Party ended at 11+pm.
Went to some Yishun shopping centre to watch Transformers.
The guys think its confusing and boring,
instead, the girls enjoyed it.
I like it.

Movied ended around 2.30am.
K fetched us back to Sean's area.
Alouis,Ahjie,Fred,Sean and me,
we had a super late supper.
No appetite but i just force it down.
Now i'm home,5.21am.
I'm super tired..
Goodnight.


I'm too far,too far from where you are.
If you're still trying to make a choice,
i'll make myself leave,like what i've been doing.
If you need me as much as i really want you....
we will...
you will...

I cried at work today.
For the things i've been hearing,
for the pain i couldn't take it any longer.
Does your heart aches knowing i've been hurting?

Is she already,someone to you?
Who is she?
Why her?
Why not some other stranger?

i don't want to know anything.
i know,this is too much,for me.
How can i prove the people who wants me to give up,wrong?

Alone,again,half dead.
Walking up the stairs alone.
Trying to figure out whats wrong.
Walking along that path,
wondering why am i still,alone.
Where are you?
Because this is the only time i couldn't control and i need you.
This is the only time,when i'm getting myself drunk,
wishing for you to be here.
How did i fall..
Why aren't you here..
because i'm no one.

time,time passes,
i realise there's so much more better girls around you.
and you seem to be considering.
i'm making myself walking further and further away.
you're pushing me away,are you?
because i don't want to know the fact..
because,
i don't want to hurt myself,again.

they scold me for being stupid,
foolish,
for this has been so long.
but i couldn't start a new story.
because i wouldn't even go think about wanting anyone to be next to me.
hugging me and telling me ily,kiss me to sleep,
and see you the next morning.

& this still stays in my mind,
why,how can you disappoint me once,over and over again.
because i'm no one.
you don't care. do you?

I've heard to much,
felt too much,
cried too much,
how did i promise myself not to do it again.

How did you make me stayed by my phone,
waiting for it to ring,over and over again.

How did you make me hit my heart over and over again.

But in the end,its myself i asked,
who am i to you.
who am i to ask you to be here for me.
who am i to deserve everything.
who am i to care.
i'm a friend,a friend who cares.
a friend you only come to,when there's nothing to do,
is that it?

I don't know.
Its me,my fault. I've been blamed for a year.
I've been screwed up nearly everyday for being an idiot.
Because they tell me,
this is impossible.
How could i prove them wrong,that its all worth it.

They want me to tell you things,
and if you make me stay,
it means that you want me.
if you ask me to go,
it means i mean nothing at all.
but dear,you know i'm afraid to know the truth.

For me to listen to you having A..B..C.. around you.
for me,i just want to take a step back.
I don't know how to make you stay.
Yes.I'm still reminiscing.
I should go,will you make me stay?
This is making me crazy.
I'm dumb.
You make me feel i'm dumb.

I told them,its pointless telling you anything.
Because it only adds on to your problems.
You've got so much stuffs to fiddle with.
Why should i.
But they say,
this is different from any other stuffs.
If i don't hurt you,
i'll continue hurting myself.
Yes,i would rather do that.
As simple as being,alone.
I miss you,
so much,everyday.
That i don't know what to do anymore.

How i wish to see you when i finish my job.
How i wish to see you if i get down of dad's car.
How i wish to open my door,and see you smiling at me.
But never,never will this happen.
Because you're happily leading your life.
Why should i stop you,
and make you think more.
I miss you.
I just can't take the other step.

I just can't help rejecting people over and over again.
This is stupid,
but i need you to keep me smiling.
But,for you to contact me,
its enough,isn't it?
Maybe. Probably.

Too much of this will make you crazy.
Too much of you will make me crazy.
This is too much for me.
I've been strong,strong for so long.

Do you know the way you held me along the way,
up the stairs,back to my room,
make a hot cup of milo for me,hug me to bed but i couldn't sleep because i don't want to waste a sec with you,
do you know,how much i wish time could stop..

I'm asking for too much,too much from you.
I told myself that was enough.
But i was wrong about myself.
Why does it hurt so much.

I can do it. This is nothing V.
This is just feelings,playing with your mind.
This is nothing V.
Because i've been keeping myself going.

Too much,too much words.
I'm tired.
I'm half dead.
I need to hug the toilet bowl to sleep,tonight,i guess.
Goodnight,
and i miss you,bi.

This post is too emotional for anyone.
This post is stupid,its dumb.
This post is making everybody crazy.
I'm super evil.
Goodnight.

So much so much.

Its not easy.

Goodnight.